Uncle Joosie's definitions

Shallow Follow

when you follow someone on Twitter solely because they're smoking hot.

Kyle "Shallow Followed" Trevor on Twitter only because he saw that he's hot.

Kyle stumbled across Trevor today from a Retweet—and when he clicked over to Trevor's profile avi he saw that Trevor was super-fucking hot and muscly with a great smile. So Kyle Shallow-Followed him because he doesn't care what he tweets or says just so long as he's hot.

by Uncle Joosie July 27, 2016

Nervous NextDoor Nancy

your neighbor's all-caps alert on NextDoor app

when Carol's phone buzzed with an urgent alert she eye-rolled cuz it was another hysterical post from Carl. "there's our Nervous NextDoor Nancy hearing gunfire again" she welped.

by Uncle Joosie January 21, 2020

Qpublicans

former "Grand Old Party" people who transformed into violent seditious conspiracy nutbags

In a closed-door caucus meeting Qpublicans gave Marjorie Taylor Greene a standing ovation because lunatic-fictional QAnon conspiracies about eating babies and Jewish space lasers are absolutely fine with assholes formerly known as republicans.

by Uncle Joosie February 4, 2021

Karmacorona

Culture Club song remake that plays every time test-denying Republicans catch Coronavirus

after CNN reported that Rand Paul got diagnosed with COVID-19 Herb asked Alexa to play "Karma Chameleon." Herb exclaimed "that's some serious Karmacorona happening right now!" as Boy George sang.

by Uncle Joosie March 22, 2020

Preying on the prophet

'Real Housewives' slang for gettin' some of dat holy penis

Real Housewives of Atlanta's Drew Sidora pulled out receipts on LaToya Ali, who apparently got quite close to Prophet Lott... in the Biblical sense. Drew accused her of "Preying on the prophet" and ruining the christening of her young daughter.

by Uncle Joosie April 13, 2021

Phone-noser

Assholes who walk with their nose in their phones—while crossing the street, dog-walking, driving or at the gym. Phone-nosers are the fuckers who'd crash right into you if *you weren't the one paying attention.

Carlotta's blood pressure rose when she saw a phone-noser almost get hit by a car while crossing the street with his dog.

by Uncle Joosie September 18, 2017

Tesla Graveyard

where Elmo’s shitty cars go to die

Elon Musk, 47th president of Murrica, is so toxic from Nazi canoodling that nobody wants his vehicles. as a direct result of Apartheid Clyde being terrible, Tesla Graveyards are popping up all over the country

by Uncle Joosie February 9, 2025