Definitions by Turler

turd mullet 

When someone passes out, you might take a fat poo then rub some all over the back of their neck, thus giving them a turd mullet.

Zach woke up smelling rank after Pete gave him a turd mullet.

turd mullet by Turler August 3, 2018

butt handy 

A guy grinds on a girl. Suddenly, to his great surprise, a human hand emerges directly from her hindquarters and proceeds to grasp then stroke his member. Butt handy.

Did Sean tell you he got a butt handy from his girlfriend Missy??

butt handy by Turler August 3, 2018

busty jesus 

A person so unique, unlikely, or weird that there is no other way to describe them than as a "busty jesus"

The party was mellow until three busty jesuses rolled up on Lime bikes wearing leopard print bathrobes and singing "Row Row Row Your Boat" in a round.

busty jesus by Turler August 3, 2018

white beard 

Can't grow a beard? Next time you're at home, simply apply shaving cream to your face in the shape of a beard, leave it on, and go about your day.

Yo, check out my white beard!

white beard by Turler August 3, 2018

Jackson Four

Based on a Lil Wayne lyric, the "Jackson Four" can be used as shorthand for any unwanted group, usually of fringe friends, that you left or want to leave behind.

Has anyone heard from the Jackson Four? Haven't seen them in ages.

Jackson Four by Turler August 3, 2018

Cheese Cubism 

This is a minimalist genre whose adherents, typically very baked, make beautiful art using only a handful of cheese cubes and a box of Triscuits.

Max was in a rut, but his outlook on life changed for the better once he discovered the basic tenets of Cheese Cubism.

Cheese Cubism by Turler August 3, 2018

Opposite Animal 

The rules of the fun game Opposite Animal are as follows:

(1) The round begins with one person naming any animal.

(2) A second person then names the animal that is the opposite of that animal.

(3) Any participant may affirm or deny the merits of (2) as it relates to (1).

(4) If (2) is deemed not to be the opposite animal of (1), the game continues until the opposite animal is identified.

(5) Once the opposite animal is identified, return to (1).

Mohammed: "Hey guys, what's the opposite animal of a wooly mammoth?"
Kim: "Probably like an emperor penguin."
Fatema: "No, that can't be right, they both live in cold habitats."
Kim: "What about a pit viper?"
Fatema: "Hm, that sounds about right."
Mohammed: "Pit viper is correct."
Kim: "Well, what's the opposite animal of a hammerhead bat?"

Opposite Animal by Turler August 3, 2018