Third World Sam's definitions
A mediocre, unimaginative person who can't write their way out of a wet paper bag. The medical condition is called Dysgraphia. If you've ever worked at advertising agencies, academic institutions or content marketing teams, you'd know who these people are. Non-writers are easily identified by their linear patterns of thinking, a complete inability to vary syntax, and an endless self-struggle with using the right adjective. They may apply all the cosmetic glow to their substandard, pathetic excuse of a writing but just one glance at those run-on sentences, and you'd know these people are just not meant to write anything important or complex.
By some quirk of fate, talented professional writers end up in the same team as these non-writers. In the eyes of management, they are the same as you, and are qualified to the same rates of pay. When that happens, you have no choice but to suffer their severe incompetence and bruised egos. Despite being embarrassing failures, non-writers are not open to constructive comments and edits.
The invention of AI writing tools has come as a boon to these non-writers. At least now they can hide their dysgraphia. But the lack of freshness in writing remains a permanent question mark on their skills and capabilities.
By some quirk of fate, talented professional writers end up in the same team as these non-writers. In the eyes of management, they are the same as you, and are qualified to the same rates of pay. When that happens, you have no choice but to suffer their severe incompetence and bruised egos. Despite being embarrassing failures, non-writers are not open to constructive comments and edits.
The invention of AI writing tools has come as a boon to these non-writers. At least now they can hide their dysgraphia. But the lack of freshness in writing remains a permanent question mark on their skills and capabilities.
Me: "Who wrote this blog post?"
Management: "Our new hire, Tanveer."
Me: "I'm sorry. Have you seen the adverb overload on this one? This looks like the work of a non-writer. This Tanveer or whatever should look for an alternative occupation. I can't think of a less capable person to be writing our blog posts."
Management: "Perhaps you're right. But you need to find a way to adjust around this non-writer. Why don't you just correct his mistakes, and no-one has to know! That's why we hired you anyway."
Management: "Our new hire, Tanveer."
Me: "I'm sorry. Have you seen the adverb overload on this one? This looks like the work of a non-writer. This Tanveer or whatever should look for an alternative occupation. I can't think of a less capable person to be writing our blog posts."
Management: "Perhaps you're right. But you need to find a way to adjust around this non-writer. Why don't you just correct his mistakes, and no-one has to know! That's why we hired you anyway."
by Third World Sam March 13, 2024
Get the non-writermug. A unit of time used in Arsetralia and New Zealand, the complete opposite of a New York minute. In terms of normal Northern Hemisphere time units, it's equal to anywhere between 5 to 17 minutes. Approximately the time you need to take a comfortable dump in the toilet.
ORIGIN: The hours, minutes, and seconds move very slowly in Aussie-land and Kiwi-land compared to most of the Northern Hemisphere where actual human beings live. Aussies have nothing else to do than go surfing, drinking all day, and taking a nap in the afternoon (yet they are paid so handsomely well compared to hard-working people in most other countries who struggle for bare necessities). Following the Aussie Rules of time undoubtedly makes them one of the laziest people in the world.
The same unit can be used in the Northern Hemisphere to convey the need for a break or timeout.
You cannot hold an Aussie or New Zealander to the same standards of punctuality as everyone else (they're basically the same country; don't fall for their pretend bullshit that they are different people). Hence, the need for a standard of time that can be used for informal communication with these people (even formal communication).
ORIGIN: The hours, minutes, and seconds move very slowly in Aussie-land and Kiwi-land compared to most of the Northern Hemisphere where actual human beings live. Aussies have nothing else to do than go surfing, drinking all day, and taking a nap in the afternoon (yet they are paid so handsomely well compared to hard-working people in most other countries who struggle for bare necessities). Following the Aussie Rules of time undoubtedly makes them one of the laziest people in the world.
The same unit can be used in the Northern Hemisphere to convey the need for a break or timeout.
You cannot hold an Aussie or New Zealander to the same standards of punctuality as everyone else (they're basically the same country; don't fall for their pretend bullshit that they are different people). Hence, the need for a standard of time that can be used for informal communication with these people (even formal communication).
1. Aussie co-worker: "G'day mate. I'm taking a Sickie (sick leave). Wanna hang out and get wasted?"
You: "Sorry, mate. I have to work hard so I don't get fired. I want to be able to afford my rent so I don't have to go live on the streets again."
Aussie coworker: "Crikey! Just bring over your lappy (laptop) with ya. Tell your boss you're going off to meet clients or something."
You: "Listen, you lazy Aussie Drongo! I don't have an Australian minute to spare right now. So rack off and let me concentrate."
2. Somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere
Friend: "Buddy boy, come out right now. We're gonna go out pick some chicks at the bar."
You: "I'm gonna be right there. Just give me an Australian minute, ok? I'm taking a shower."
Friend: "What the hell is an Australian minute?"
You: "It's a unit of time. You'll soon find out. Just keep watching YouTube videos on your phone."
(35 minutes later)
Friend: "I watched an entire Netflix episode of Bridgerton. Is that an Australian minute?"
You: "No, that would be TWO Australian minutes. I'm so sorry for being an Australian minute late."
3.
You: "Sorry, mate. I have to work hard so I don't get fired. I want to be able to afford my rent so I don't have to go live on the streets again."
Aussie coworker: "Crikey! Just bring over your lappy (laptop) with ya. Tell your boss you're going off to meet clients or something."
You: "Listen, you lazy Aussie Drongo! I don't have an Australian minute to spare right now. So rack off and let me concentrate."
2. Somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere
Friend: "Buddy boy, come out right now. We're gonna go out pick some chicks at the bar."
You: "I'm gonna be right there. Just give me an Australian minute, ok? I'm taking a shower."
Friend: "What the hell is an Australian minute?"
You: "It's a unit of time. You'll soon find out. Just keep watching YouTube videos on your phone."
(35 minutes later)
Friend: "I watched an entire Netflix episode of Bridgerton. Is that an Australian minute?"
You: "No, that would be TWO Australian minutes. I'm so sorry for being an Australian minute late."
3.
by Third World Sam April 22, 2022
Get the australian minutemug. A man who sees nothing wrong in sleeping with multiple women simultaneously, concealing one from the others without a hint of guilt. The term ‘multi’ suggests the progression from being a two-timer to engaging in more complex forms of infidelity. Women can't be multi-timers by nature of their gender that requires more fidelity: it's easier to call them "sluts" and move on.
Multi-timers are more akin to "manwhores" but slightly more honorable, as the latter are only into infidelity because they're lowlifes. Multi-timers just need more time to settle in their lives, so are looking for more choices in women. It's like when you browse the shelves of a supermarket, you don't really buy everything you see.
Multi-timers are more akin to "manwhores" but slightly more honorable, as the latter are only into infidelity because they're lowlifes. Multi-timers just need more time to settle in their lives, so are looking for more choices in women. It's like when you browse the shelves of a supermarket, you don't really buy everything you see.
Randy is seeing Paula while making out with Molly, who's been sworn to secrecy about Paula. Molly readily obeys due to her own lack of moral compass. Randy also recently went to Las Vegas, indulging in threesomes with prostitutes. He's currently texting one for future encounters, all unbeknownst to Paula or Molly. Needless to say, neither of Randy's regular girls has a clue about his Vegas exploits.
Randy recently met an exchange student from the Czech Republic. They seemed to connect well, even making out at his office! Now smitten, Randy is planning a European vacation, possibly with Paula. While she enjoys Paris, Randy might travel to the Czech Republic to propose to his new girlfriend. This could lead him to unceremoniously drop his past girlfriends.
Basically, Randy is a multi timer.
Randy recently met an exchange student from the Czech Republic. They seemed to connect well, even making out at his office! Now smitten, Randy is planning a European vacation, possibly with Paula. While she enjoys Paris, Randy might travel to the Czech Republic to propose to his new girlfriend. This could lead him to unceremoniously drop his past girlfriends.
Basically, Randy is a multi timer.
by Third World Sam June 9, 2024
Get the Multi timermug. A continent-sized landmass south of the equator, pretty far from anywhere actual human beings live. It's where Mother Earth expels its excrement as this landfill is located literally on its arse bottom. Filled with kangaroos, koalas, dingoes, poisonous snakes, and nothing much of importance.
Also known as Van Diemen's Land.
INCORRECT SPELLING: Australia
CORRECT SPELLING: Arsetralia
Also known as Van Diemen's Land.
INCORRECT SPELLING: Australia
CORRECT SPELLING: Arsetralia
by Third World Sam April 10, 2022
Get the arsetraliamug. To beat the French in terms of some of their undeniable national traits such as irreverence, disparagement, and belittlement, which every Frenchman or Frenchwoman will eventually display in their words and actions.
You should be smart ahead of time and call out these snail-eating motherfuckers for their supercilious behavior. Do not be polite or civil to them. Treat them just like they would treat you: like absolute dirt.
Anyone who has ever been belittled by a condescending French jerk knows exactly what I mean. Don't let it get to you. Stand your ground. This behavior is second nature to French people, just like breathing. Give them a taste of their own medicine.
However, rather than using words, you need to display your contempt for the French through visible actions. You will "outfrench" the French when you can beat them in their own national pastime of condescending power plays
Outfrench the douchebags from other countries only if they deserve it. With the French, it's game on no matter where in the world you run into these Gallic deceivers.
You should be smart ahead of time and call out these snail-eating motherfuckers for their supercilious behavior. Do not be polite or civil to them. Treat them just like they would treat you: like absolute dirt.
Anyone who has ever been belittled by a condescending French jerk knows exactly what I mean. Don't let it get to you. Stand your ground. This behavior is second nature to French people, just like breathing. Give them a taste of their own medicine.
However, rather than using words, you need to display your contempt for the French through visible actions. You will "outfrench" the French when you can beat them in their own national pastime of condescending power plays
Outfrench the douchebags from other countries only if they deserve it. With the French, it's game on no matter where in the world you run into these Gallic deceivers.
(At a tourist resort)
Me: "So, where you're from?"
Dude: "France!"
Me: (falls silent and leaves immediately)
Dude: "What happened?"
Passerby: "Well, mon lapin (my rabbit). You just got outfrenched by someone who knows talking to you people is a waste of time for him."
Me: "So, where you're from?"
Dude: "France!"
Me: (falls silent and leaves immediately)
Dude: "What happened?"
Passerby: "Well, mon lapin (my rabbit). You just got outfrenched by someone who knows talking to you people is a waste of time for him."
by Third World Sam December 1, 2024
Get the outfrenchmug. One hundred percent of women and all the bearded effeminates slowly replacing the real men of the world. Cooter carriers either can't grow a pair (literally, in the case of females) or had their balls busted during adolescence. Cooter carriers lack manly attributes such as courage, humor, a sense of justice and fair play, and the ability to withstanding pressure in adverse situations. Only real men have these traits.
Their biggest fear is how others will perceive them which constantly keeps them on the edge. That's why all the cooter carriers herd together on Instagram, liking each other's frivolous posts. Because they're too damn scared to live alone. Real men like me never give a fuck what others are thinking about us.
Cooter carriers like to constantly whine, complain, and assail you when they have the numbers to back them up.
If all else fails, they will give you the silent treatment. They started the whole #metoo nonsense framing innocent men for acting on their sexual impulses.
Cooter carriers openly hate us men for being men, but secretly admire our manliness. Why not - manliness is next to Godliness, and so every cooter carrier wants to be just like us. They burn with penis envy. Sorry for you beautiful gals and their unmasculine pals, you're all called pussies for a reason. The Lord created you that way because He is a Man and we real men are the only chosen ones who've been made in His divine image.
Their biggest fear is how others will perceive them which constantly keeps them on the edge. That's why all the cooter carriers herd together on Instagram, liking each other's frivolous posts. Because they're too damn scared to live alone. Real men like me never give a fuck what others are thinking about us.
Cooter carriers like to constantly whine, complain, and assail you when they have the numbers to back them up.
If all else fails, they will give you the silent treatment. They started the whole #metoo nonsense framing innocent men for acting on their sexual impulses.
Cooter carriers openly hate us men for being men, but secretly admire our manliness. Why not - manliness is next to Godliness, and so every cooter carrier wants to be just like us. They burn with penis envy. Sorry for you beautiful gals and their unmasculine pals, you're all called pussies for a reason. The Lord created you that way because He is a Man and we real men are the only chosen ones who've been made in His divine image.
Female Boss, "I told you to get the payment refunded to our client by Friday-end. What happened? He just sent me an angry email threatening to sue our company."
Real Man employee: "Have you seen all the chat messages I left you? I even scanned the 4-page refund letter and converted it to a PDF file. All you had to do was digitally authorize the payment."
Female boss: "Oh,,,,oh. My phone's not working. You should have sent me that in person."
Real Man employee: "I would have if I knew where to find you."
Female boss: "OK...whatever. Be more careful next time."
Real Man employee: "I will. Now get lost you cooter carrier."
Female boss: "What did you just call me?"
---
Me: "Wow, that's a hot girl. Damn check the rack on that one. Missionary would be too nice for her. I just want to do her doggy style, put my hands down the front of her cooter, and slowly move my palms to squeeze her tits..."
Bearded Mangina : "Dude, that's not cool. You're doing so much objectifying here. Women are equal to us men in every way. The way you described that person is abominable. You should never demean women but should always esteem and protect them. And 'cooter' - that's such a disrespectful word. What you just did is called sexual harassment. You give the rest of us men a bad name."
Me: "Shut the hell up, you cooter carrier."
Real Man employee: "Have you seen all the chat messages I left you? I even scanned the 4-page refund letter and converted it to a PDF file. All you had to do was digitally authorize the payment."
Female boss: "Oh,,,,oh. My phone's not working. You should have sent me that in person."
Real Man employee: "I would have if I knew where to find you."
Female boss: "OK...whatever. Be more careful next time."
Real Man employee: "I will. Now get lost you cooter carrier."
Female boss: "What did you just call me?"
---
Me: "Wow, that's a hot girl. Damn check the rack on that one. Missionary would be too nice for her. I just want to do her doggy style, put my hands down the front of her cooter, and slowly move my palms to squeeze her tits..."
Bearded Mangina : "Dude, that's not cool. You're doing so much objectifying here. Women are equal to us men in every way. The way you described that person is abominable. You should never demean women but should always esteem and protect them. And 'cooter' - that's such a disrespectful word. What you just did is called sexual harassment. You give the rest of us men a bad name."
Me: "Shut the hell up, you cooter carrier."
by Third World Sam March 10, 2023
Get the cooter carriermug. When you're fucked over badly, because things went awry. You were totally out of luck. The "le" has nothing to do with French language. It only is used for emphasizing how badly you were screwed.
I landed in Berlin, and someone stole my wallet. It had my credit cards, phone numbers, and guess what, even the passport. I am truly le fucked.
What a day! I got fired from my job, and my wife left me. And the dog's missing. I am le fucked completely.
What a day! I got fired from my job, and my wife left me. And the dog's missing. I am le fucked completely.
by Third World Sam February 2, 2024
Get the Le fuckedmug.