6 definitions by Third World Sam
One hundred percent of women and all the bearded effeminates slowly replacing the real men of the world. Cooter carriers either can't grow a pair (literally, in the case of females) or had their balls busted during adolescence. Cooter carriers lack manly attributes such as courage, humor, a sense of justice and fair play, and the ability to withstanding pressure in adverse situations. Only real men have these traits.
Their biggest fear is how others will perceive them which constantly keeps them on the edge. That's why all the cooter carriers herd together on Instagram, liking each other's frivolous posts. Because they're too damn scared to live alone. Real men like me never give a fuck what others are thinking about us.
Cooter carriers like to constantly whine, complain, and assail you when they have the numbers to back them up.
If all else fails, they will give you the silent treatment. They started the whole #metoo nonsense framing innocent men for acting on their sexual impulses.
Cooter carriers openly hate us men for being men, but secretly admire our manliness. Why not - manliness is next to Godliness, and so every cooter carrier wants to be just like us. They burn with penis envy. Sorry for you beautiful gals and their unmasculine pals, you're all called pussies for a reason. The Lord created you that way because He is a Man and we real men are the only chosen ones who've been made in His divine image.
Their biggest fear is how others will perceive them which constantly keeps them on the edge. That's why all the cooter carriers herd together on Instagram, liking each other's frivolous posts. Because they're too damn scared to live alone. Real men like me never give a fuck what others are thinking about us.
Cooter carriers like to constantly whine, complain, and assail you when they have the numbers to back them up.
If all else fails, they will give you the silent treatment. They started the whole #metoo nonsense framing innocent men for acting on their sexual impulses.
Cooter carriers openly hate us men for being men, but secretly admire our manliness. Why not - manliness is next to Godliness, and so every cooter carrier wants to be just like us. They burn with penis envy. Sorry for you beautiful gals and their unmasculine pals, you're all called pussies for a reason. The Lord created you that way because He is a Man and we real men are the only chosen ones who've been made in His divine image.
Female Boss, "I told you to get the payment refunded to our client by Friday-end. What happened? He just sent me an angry email threatening to sue our company."
Real Man employee: "Have you seen all the chat messages I left you? I even scanned the 4-page refund letter and converted it to a PDF file. All you had to do was digitally authorize the payment."
Female boss: "Oh,,,,oh. My phone's not working. You should have sent me that in person."
Real Man employee: "I would have if I knew where to find you."
Female boss: "OK...whatever. Be more careful next time."
Real Man employee: "I will. Now get lost you cooter carrier."
Female boss: "What did you just call me?"
---
Me: "Wow, that's a hot girl. Damn check the rack on that one. Missionary would be too nice for her. I just want to do her doggy style, put my hands down the front of her cooter, and slowly move my palms to squeeze her tits..."
Bearded Mangina : "Dude, that's not cool. You're doing so much objectifying here. Women are equal to us men in every way. The way you described that person is abominable. You should never demean women but should always esteem and protect them. And 'cooter' - that's such a disrespectful word. What you just did is called sexual harassment. You give the rest of us men a bad name."
Me: "Shut the hell up, you cooter carrier."
Real Man employee: "Have you seen all the chat messages I left you? I even scanned the 4-page refund letter and converted it to a PDF file. All you had to do was digitally authorize the payment."
Female boss: "Oh,,,,oh. My phone's not working. You should have sent me that in person."
Real Man employee: "I would have if I knew where to find you."
Female boss: "OK...whatever. Be more careful next time."
Real Man employee: "I will. Now get lost you cooter carrier."
Female boss: "What did you just call me?"
---
Me: "Wow, that's a hot girl. Damn check the rack on that one. Missionary would be too nice for her. I just want to do her doggy style, put my hands down the front of her cooter, and slowly move my palms to squeeze her tits..."
Bearded Mangina : "Dude, that's not cool. You're doing so much objectifying here. Women are equal to us men in every way. The way you described that person is abominable. You should never demean women but should always esteem and protect them. And 'cooter' - that's such a disrespectful word. What you just did is called sexual harassment. You give the rest of us men a bad name."
Me: "Shut the hell up, you cooter carrier."
by Third World Sam March 10, 2023
A continent-sized landmass south of the equator, pretty far from anywhere actual human beings live. It's where Mother Earth expels its excrement as this landfill is located literally on its arse bottom. Filled with kangaroos, koalas, dingoes, poisonous snakes, and nothing much of importance.
Also known as Van Diemen's Land.
INCORRECT SPELLING: Australia
CORRECT SPELLING: Arsetralia
Also known as Van Diemen's Land.
INCORRECT SPELLING: Australia
CORRECT SPELLING: Arsetralia
by Third World Sam April 10, 2022
When you go broke in Europe as a non-European Union (EU) traveler, after spending your absolutely last Euro coin on hookers and sex.
1. "My Europe vacation has come to a close. I don't have any money left. I'm Eurofucked."
2. ME: "You degenerate moron. Burning our savings near Amsterdam's red light windows wasn't enough for you. You gave our last few remaining Euro coins to that washed-out, obese, Euro Trash whore. Just for a blow-job, you say? Fuck you."
Friend: "It's called being Eurofucked, man. You think I flew all the way to Europe for the museums and shit? Nothing else matters when you're getting laid every day. Stop bitching about the Euro money. It's not even a real currency, looks like plastic."
Me: "Fuck you. How do you propose we get to Schiphol airport, now, huh? To take our return flight...H.O.M.E. To the non-European lands whence we came."
Friend: "I don't know. Walk all the way? Hey, can I borrow your iPhone?"
Me: " Why?"
Friend: "On the way to the airport, we might get lucky one more time. Think about the possibilities. It could be a FOURSOME with two depraved sisters. We can then use that iPhone as a mode of payment for casual sex."
Me: "Mmm.....You have a point. I can always buy a new phone. Let's go fuck some more European bitches."
Friend: "You're coming around, finally! Apart from my passport, I don't want any possessions on me when I got on that return flight."
Me: "True. We both want to get...."
Me and Friend together: "Eurofucked. YAY!"
2. ME: "You degenerate moron. Burning our savings near Amsterdam's red light windows wasn't enough for you. You gave our last few remaining Euro coins to that washed-out, obese, Euro Trash whore. Just for a blow-job, you say? Fuck you."
Friend: "It's called being Eurofucked, man. You think I flew all the way to Europe for the museums and shit? Nothing else matters when you're getting laid every day. Stop bitching about the Euro money. It's not even a real currency, looks like plastic."
Me: "Fuck you. How do you propose we get to Schiphol airport, now, huh? To take our return flight...H.O.M.E. To the non-European lands whence we came."
Friend: "I don't know. Walk all the way? Hey, can I borrow your iPhone?"
Me: " Why?"
Friend: "On the way to the airport, we might get lucky one more time. Think about the possibilities. It could be a FOURSOME with two depraved sisters. We can then use that iPhone as a mode of payment for casual sex."
Me: "Mmm.....You have a point. I can always buy a new phone. Let's go fuck some more European bitches."
Friend: "You're coming around, finally! Apart from my passport, I don't want any possessions on me when I got on that return flight."
Me: "True. We both want to get...."
Me and Friend together: "Eurofucked. YAY!"
by Third World Sam May 20, 2022
Someone from the continent of Europe, often found in the cheapest hostels, dormitories and capsule hotels around the world. As long as this disease is contained within Europe, I don't have a problem with them. But these days the Euroscum choose to infect desirable vacation spots in Asia such as Macau, Goa, Phuket, Jeju Island, or Bali, bringing their cheap sunglasses and smelly suntan lotions everywhere. While the hostel owners and guided tour operators love them, Euroscum are universally despised by wealthy Asians, and even not-so-wealthy Asians.
The Euroscum are the reason you choose to book a fairly expensive hotel so that you don't run into them to exchange those awkward hellos and "Wanna smoke?" sessions. Every single one of them is a nicotine addict chuffing smoke with tar deliberately to shorten other people's lives. They like to extensively talk about politics, cheap hostels, ridesharing deals, and anything that involves spending less money because they're such total cheapskates.
The easiest way to ditch a Euroscum is to make them a suggestion that involves spending money: "Hey, looks like we both have nothing much to do. Let's go shopping at the local mall. I need to buy new clothes and you must upgrade those cheap sunglasses. No one likes them here. This isn't Europe, my friend." Or just tell them that you're allergic to smoking. If you're a non-alcoholic, that should work in your favor.
The Euroscum are the reason you choose to book a fairly expensive hotel so that you don't run into them to exchange those awkward hellos and "Wanna smoke?" sessions. Every single one of them is a nicotine addict chuffing smoke with tar deliberately to shorten other people's lives. They like to extensively talk about politics, cheap hostels, ridesharing deals, and anything that involves spending less money because they're such total cheapskates.
The easiest way to ditch a Euroscum is to make them a suggestion that involves spending money: "Hey, looks like we both have nothing much to do. Let's go shopping at the local mall. I need to buy new clothes and you must upgrade those cheap sunglasses. No one likes them here. This isn't Europe, my friend." Or just tell them that you're allergic to smoking. If you're a non-alcoholic, that should work in your favor.
Friend: "Hey, looks like the hotels in Macau are going to be very expensive for those dates. Do you think we should book a dormitory with shared bathroom? That would be a lot cheaper."
Me: "Noooooooo.....we'll be surrounded by those poverty-stricken Euroscum roommates. I'm travelling to the Macau Casinos for good luck, and I don't want those cheapskates ruining any good vibes we'll have. If you can't find a decent hotel in Macau, try looking for a Hyatt or Marriott in Zhuhai, China. Not very far really. We can hire a daily cab."
Friend: "Yea....anything to keep our distance from the Euroscum."
Me: "So where you're from?"
Euroscum: "I don't really know where I belong. I mean I was born in Belgium, but I have a German citizenship, but I currently live in Spain. I mean I used to live in Spain for twenty years till it got too expensive, so I recently shifted to Romania. And isn't it sweet, right now we're all here in Asia. My long-separated parents are from Czech Republic and Sweden. Do you have a cigarette lighter?"
Me: "Oh you're a Euroscum all right. And no, I don't smoke cigarettes.
Me: "Noooooooo.....we'll be surrounded by those poverty-stricken Euroscum roommates. I'm travelling to the Macau Casinos for good luck, and I don't want those cheapskates ruining any good vibes we'll have. If you can't find a decent hotel in Macau, try looking for a Hyatt or Marriott in Zhuhai, China. Not very far really. We can hire a daily cab."
Friend: "Yea....anything to keep our distance from the Euroscum."
Me: "So where you're from?"
Euroscum: "I don't really know where I belong. I mean I was born in Belgium, but I have a German citizenship, but I currently live in Spain. I mean I used to live in Spain for twenty years till it got too expensive, so I recently shifted to Romania. And isn't it sweet, right now we're all here in Asia. My long-separated parents are from Czech Republic and Sweden. Do you have a cigarette lighter?"
Me: "Oh you're a Euroscum all right. And no, I don't smoke cigarettes.
by Third World Sam November 2, 2023
A female Islamic terrorist usually covers her entire face with a hijab while carrying a terror manual called Quran with her. She's ready to kill you with a machete, sword or AK-47 as all Muslims are obligated to kill non-Muslims during their Jihad warfare.
An Islamic terrorista is more dangerous than the male Islamic terrorists. Being a woman, she stays under the radar of intel agencies. Ignore this threat at your own peril.
If you're a non-Muslim and value your life (and the lives of your neighbors), you'd report an Islamic terrorista to the authorities from a safe zone.
An Islamic terrorista is more dangerous than the male Islamic terrorists. Being a woman, she stays under the radar of intel agencies. Ignore this threat at your own peril.
If you're a non-Muslim and value your life (and the lives of your neighbors), you'd report an Islamic terrorista to the authorities from a safe zone.
Nabila and Fatima always wear a hijab. I saw their online posts; they often repost articles glorifying the Hamas and other terrorist outfits. They secretly confided to me that they hate Jews, and I find their movements very strange. They disappear from the class every day at two-forty-five. I think both these gals are terroristas. We must keep an eye on their activities. Report anything suspicious.
Me: "What's this headbag you're wearing?"
Muslim girl: "It's called a burqa."
Me: "Burgq durqa. You're making me feel uncomfortable with that attire. Please dress like a normal person, not a terrorista."
Everyone: "Terrorista. Terrorista. Terrorista."
Me: "What's this headbag you're wearing?"
Muslim girl: "It's called a burqa."
Me: "Burgq durqa. You're making me feel uncomfortable with that attire. Please dress like a normal person, not a terrorista."
Everyone: "Terrorista. Terrorista. Terrorista."
by Third World Sam November 6, 2023
A unit of time used in Arsetralia and New Zealand, the complete opposite of a New York minute. In terms of normal Northern Hemisphere time units, it's equal to anywhere between 5 to 17 minutes. Approximately the time you need to take a comfortable dump in the toilet.
ORIGIN: The hours, minutes, and seconds move very slowly in Aussie-land and Kiwi-land compared to most of the Northern Hemisphere where actual human beings live. Aussies have nothing else to do than go surfing, drinking all day, and taking a nap in the afternoon (yet they are paid so handsomely well compared to hard-working people in most other countries who struggle for bare necessities). Following the Aussie Rules of time undoubtedly makes them one of the laziest people in the world.
The same unit can be used in the Northern Hemisphere to convey the need for a break or timeout.
You cannot hold an Aussie or New Zealander to the same standards of punctuality as everyone else (they're basically the same country; don't fall for their pretend bullshit that they are different people). Hence, the need for a standard of time that can be used for informal communication with these people (even formal communication).
ORIGIN: The hours, minutes, and seconds move very slowly in Aussie-land and Kiwi-land compared to most of the Northern Hemisphere where actual human beings live. Aussies have nothing else to do than go surfing, drinking all day, and taking a nap in the afternoon (yet they are paid so handsomely well compared to hard-working people in most other countries who struggle for bare necessities). Following the Aussie Rules of time undoubtedly makes them one of the laziest people in the world.
The same unit can be used in the Northern Hemisphere to convey the need for a break or timeout.
You cannot hold an Aussie or New Zealander to the same standards of punctuality as everyone else (they're basically the same country; don't fall for their pretend bullshit that they are different people). Hence, the need for a standard of time that can be used for informal communication with these people (even formal communication).
1. Aussie co-worker: "G'day mate. I'm taking a Sickie (sick leave). Wanna hang out and get wasted?"
You: "Sorry, mate. I have to work hard so I don't get fired. I want to be able to afford my rent so I don't have to go live on the streets again."
Aussie coworker: "Crikey! Just bring over your lappy (laptop) with ya. Tell your boss you're going off to meet clients or something."
You: "Listen, you lazy Aussie Drongo! I don't have an Australian minute to spare right now. So rack off and let me concentrate."
2. Somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere
Friend: "Buddy boy, come out right now. We're gonna go out pick some chicks at the bar."
You: "I'm gonna be right there. Just give me an Australian minute, ok? I'm taking a shower."
Friend: "What the hell is an Australian minute?"
You: "It's a unit of time. You'll soon find out. Just keep watching YouTube videos on your phone."
(35 minutes later)
Friend: "I watched an entire Netflix episode of Bridgerton. Is that an Australian minute?"
You: "No, that would be TWO Australian minutes. I'm so sorry for being an Australian minute late."
3.
You: "Sorry, mate. I have to work hard so I don't get fired. I want to be able to afford my rent so I don't have to go live on the streets again."
Aussie coworker: "Crikey! Just bring over your lappy (laptop) with ya. Tell your boss you're going off to meet clients or something."
You: "Listen, you lazy Aussie Drongo! I don't have an Australian minute to spare right now. So rack off and let me concentrate."
2. Somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere
Friend: "Buddy boy, come out right now. We're gonna go out pick some chicks at the bar."
You: "I'm gonna be right there. Just give me an Australian minute, ok? I'm taking a shower."
Friend: "What the hell is an Australian minute?"
You: "It's a unit of time. You'll soon find out. Just keep watching YouTube videos on your phone."
(35 minutes later)
Friend: "I watched an entire Netflix episode of Bridgerton. Is that an Australian minute?"
You: "No, that would be TWO Australian minutes. I'm so sorry for being an Australian minute late."
3.
by Third World Sam April 23, 2022