The Poison Dwarf's definitions

Soapy Tit Wank

in this context, used to describe the inane and vacant expression sometimes appearing upon an individual's countenance, suggesting that they are unable to focus or concentrate on current events owing to a preoccupation or pervious misdemeanour involving some form of deviant activity

Andrew, you've gone all Soapy Tit Wank again; will you please just get a grip, a life and a proper haircut, or just fuck off home, will you?

by The Poison Dwarf July 15, 2010

The Inflatable Pig

Any self obsessed individual that jogs and wobbles in increasingly desperate attempts to create an illusion of fitness whilst shrouded in a layer of all concealing black lycra.

Regard mi bredren Simon; him gwan all The Inflatable Pig stylie..

by The Poison Dwarf October 31, 2011

fukazi

an expression used to describe the failure of a system to operate or a project to go according to plan

"Wayne's laptop has gone fukazi and shut down yet again! I fear that if our IT tech fails yet agaiin to rectify the problem, then he will suffer consequential problems when Wayne catches him and forcibly inserts the faulty hardware in his rectum"

Rectum? Didn't do em much good......

by The Poison Dwarf July 15, 2010

phatbloke

Used in irony, a derogatory term that can be used to cause a seemingly fit individual to question their own set of hitherto confirmed values and beliefs without proper cause. Extreme caution should be exercised; the greeting ought not to be used on a regular basis as repeated reminders might leading to eating disorders or bouts of over exercise, leading to unwanted side effects, such as hair loss, saddle rash, jogger's nipple or a fetish for wearing padded lycra clothing and ultimately self abuse.

I greeted Neddy this morning using the term 'Phatbloke' as a form of informal address. Unfortunaly however, it appears to have caused him to be consumed by guilt and loss of self-esteem. As a consequence he's left work early to go for a swim and a bike ride. I fear that he will truly and totally fuck himself severely and now am remorseful for my careless and frivolous actions.

by The Poison Dwarf August 4, 2010

cuntichops

For an individual to unwittingly countenance a frown or look of overall disdain that although not seemingly apparent to themselves, is plainly obvious to others around them and evident that the bearer is best avoided until the blackness of mood has passed, together with the potential consequences.

Andy's in a right mood today; he's got that cuntichops look about him. Best to fuck offski tout de suite if you don't want an arse kicking because he's out to whoop somebody's bottie big time stylie..

by The Poison Dwarf August 4, 2010

knowledge knob

An individual who appears to know the answer to everything, or to be sufficiently well versed in the art of bullshitting to give the illusion that they do. Over time such individuals can become highly revered in society, attaining influential positions and status.

Employee 1 - "Beardie, you old fuckwitt, what does this document mean?"

Employee 2 - "Haa Harrr - fuck only knows, why don't you go and ask Mooj? He's a right old knowledge knob, and no mistake.. qualiteeeeee!"

by The Poison Dwarf August 3, 2010

mark-dot-beard

Summary definintive noun that might be used to describe any person that is newly accquainted but at occasional odds when faced with the various complexities of personal computing, the internet and e-mail. Theoretically the sequence can be amended to suit any individual but should only be restricted to single syllable names for maximum impact. See also ned-dot-kelly..

Has that old fucker mark-dot-beard logged on to his e-mails yet?

I have sent him a verbal twatting that is sure to impress...and his new screensaver will surely cause more irritation than rampant pubic lice.

by The Poison Dwarf August 4, 2010