Definitions by The Original Agahnim
Santa Claus complex
Someone that tries to treat a female special to make himself look wonderful, when really he's a monster beneath the surface.
That guy with the Santa Claus complex has a gift for you, he's not even trying to hide it. He is arrogant and aloof about his Santa Claus complex.
Santa Claus complex by The Original Agahnim July 3, 2021
Intuition
Samuel L. Jackson knocked on his white neighbors door trying to tell him to turn his rap music down, but seemed suprised he would like that kind of music. The guy explained that it was his kind of shit, but that his wife Nicole hated it, she only made music from a genre that was half jazz half hip hop because nobody had ever done that before, not because she really liked the music. This made Samuel L. Jackson mad, so he proceeded to menace this punk in the backyard with a weedwacker and tell him how bad he was, because he knew this guy was weaker than him through intuition.
Intuition by The Original Agahnim July 3, 2021
Lance Ballinstrong
A 5 foot tall guy that has a switch set to over one hundred percent all the time, to where the guys on his basketball team don't really want to be around him when they're not on the court. He became forever connected to the person that injured his kidney, because he played the rest of his games with one kidney, and feom then on, could not allow himself to be under one hundred percent effort or human ever again.
Teammates of Lance Ballinstrong- Lance it's 3 am, would you knock it off, we're trying to sleep and get ready for tommorrow's game.
Lance Ballinstrong- I can't let up, I'm five feet tall, I have one kidney, and the steroids keep me up all night, I can't take any time off.
Lance Ballinstrong- I can't let up, I'm five feet tall, I have one kidney, and the steroids keep me up all night, I can't take any time off.
Lance Ballinstrong by The Original Agahnim July 3, 2021
Little ole pile of garbage
Something a rat likes as much as a big ole pile of garbage, it really doesn't matter to a rat how much garbage is in the pile. They're as happy as a pig in a pile of shit with their garbage, they disregard how nasty it really is.
Little ole pile of garbage by The Original Agahnim July 3, 2021
Happy ending
The girl wanted the guy that kept bringing her flowers dead, but she didn't want to catch a murder charge herself, so she tried to give another guy a blowjob, hoping that he would be a doll and do something sweet for her (like pull out a gun and shoot this cocksucking flower bearing fairy with no balls), but her sinister plan backfired when it turned out the second guy actually liked the guy bringing her the flowers. This made her puke all over the carpet and call her friends for a girl's night out, where she met a real man, a bad guy that had access to automatic weapons and wouldn't hesitate to pull up in front of where both these other faggots were at and turn both of the first two guys into Swiss cheese. A happy ending can be different for different people.
It was a happy ending for the girl, she got with the bad guy, the bad guy got with her, and the first two lambs got deader than a doornail, so her sinister plan went from backfiring to back in business.
Happy ending by The Original Agahnim July 3, 2021
Record
Whether it's a vinyl record or a sports/entertainment record, no matter how many you break, you won't take them with you when you're not around any more. Some people like to break records, others disagree that all records are made to be broken, and they try to take care of the records they have while they are still here.
Record by The Original Agahnim July 2, 2021
Female psychonaut
You don't hear about them often just like you don't hear about a female version of Kurt Cobain or a female gun(wo)man too often why, because most females are afraid to look like failures to other people, and because they are afraid to look like failures to other people, they are afraid of failure itself. Most females would rather become an astronaut than a psychonaut any day because they don't want their family calling them a loser, especially not their mother.
The female psychonaut wanted to give the male rock stars a run for their money, so she OD'ed on heroin to kill herself at 27, since that seemed to be the magic number. She thought her death would be more tragic than the deaths of male rock stars because she could have had babies and now she never would, but actually people had about the same reaction, as she was just another human like the males were, and her death was more of an ordinary event than a true tragedy. It wasn't earth shattering sadness people felt for her.
Female psychonaut by The Original Agahnim July 2, 2021