The Jeff S's definitions

Trunk Kiss

When you approach your car, lick the tip of your index finger, and clean the dirt, snow, or rain off the little backup camera mounted on the trunk for better visibility.

He walked up, gave the car a trunk kiss, got in and backed it out of the parking space, carefully checking the monitor on the dash.

by The Jeff S April 1, 2016

apprize

When you don't win a sweepstake and the sponsor feels obligated to tell you who did, they apprize you of the winner.

I wish they hadn't apprized me of who won the car. He doesn't look like he needed it as much as I do.

by The Jeff S May 13, 2021

coronacopia

The growing volume of people and places that can give you the corona virus. Handshakes, desk surfaces, door handles, sneezes...

On the way home from {work} today I had to avoid a whole coronacopia of disease... does my forehead feel warm to you?

by The Jeff S March 9, 2020

Peak Evolution

The top of the bell curve in the evolution of man. The point in time at which the betterment of each generation over the previous one ceases to occur, and the species begins to backslide toward stupidity. Peak Evolution occurs when morons procreate faster than the enlightened.

The 2016 election would someday be seen as tangible evidence of peak evolution.

by The Jeff S February 5, 2017

Slapling

A young tree whose branches slap you in the face when you pass it in the woods.

"I was running through the forest today when a slapling almost took my eye out."

by The Jeff S April 18, 2023

Tottie

An aged hottie. Once hot, now not.

Barbara walkered across the common dining room of the senior center unnoticed. There was a time, she thought. One a hottie, now a tottie.

by The Jeff S July 6, 2024

Business Card

A rectangle with your name on it.

I walked around the convention center handing people business cards.

by The Jeff S March 21, 2019