Definitions by The Gonzo Lecture

Rail Rage 

Derived originally from "Road Rage" but results in one commuter pushing another commuter onto the rail tracks.

The man was jailed for four years for rail rage when he pushed a woman onto the railway tracks because she asked him not to smoke on the platform.

Rail Rage by The Gonzo Lecture March 6, 2010

wow factor

An important aspect of experience design which can be applied in a variety of contexts and applications depending on the event concerned and the required outcome. In events, the "wow" factor refers to an impressive and impactful element of the design which is used by the designer to reinforce particular aspects of the attendant's experience, usually resulting in particular sensory stimulation (visual, auditory, etc) which can be used to facilitate memory formation and retention afterwards. Whilst popularly thought to require originality in creativity, the wow factor is usually produced using cues familiar to its receivers.

Bill: Wow, look at those fireworks dude, they are really special.

Ben: Wow, yeah dude. They really add the wow factor. Totally fucking unforgettable.

wow factor by The Gonzo Lecture March 5, 2010

Swamp Fart 

A release of gas from the anal cavity renowned for its particular moistness and pungent odour. Unlike a normal fart, and other categories of cruel fart, the swamp fart is distinct in a number of important respects. It is formed by poorly-digested vegetable or fruit matter incubating in the colon for an extended time period. This results in an uncomfortable build-up of methane gas, which when combined with semi-liquid foodstuffs, produces a wet fart sound when omitted. This is often confused with a pudding fart due to its bass timbre. However, a swamp fart is so foul smelling that it causes an immediate gagging response from those nearby. Commonly, those responsible for swamp farts quickly vacate the environments contaminated by their own farticles both to avoid blame and to check their undergarments for undesirable debris, often referred to as fart sauce.

Kimi and Chaz are sitting in their local pizza restaurant.

Kimi: Was that you Chaz? God that stinks!

Chaz: (Sniggers) Sorry love, I just produced an impromptu swamp fart. Better out than though, I can tell you!

Kimi: You're disgusting Chaz! Shall we order now?

Chaz: No...I have to go to the bathroom. I think I might have fart sauce in my shorts...

Swamp Fart by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

Gonzo Lecture

A university lecture characterised by a replacement of the more formal yet boring teaching methods advocated by teacher training colleges and academic managers by insane sounding rants in which the lecturer replaces dry subject matter with their own uncomfortable, personal truth. Based on Hunter S. Thompson's particular brand of gonzo journalism, the Gonzo Lecture is characterised by first person point of view run wild and an oft-indistinguishable fusion of real-world facts and fictional confabulation. The gonzo lecturer may often combine their personal narrative style with contrived personal and often avant-garde anecdotes, expressions of angry disillusionment, foul language and other methods such as textbook throwing. Meta levels of thought are often subtly conveyed through homage to popular cultural symbols and controversial opinions with which the audience identifies. The objective of The Gonzo Lecture is to wake-up the audience to their own oppression by corrupt power systems through engaging them in personal reflection, prompted by their own discomfort. This reflection is designed to stimulate an aspiration on their part to rethink their self-concept as a channel towards personal change. The Gonzo Lecture, as part of the wider field of Gonzo Education is sometimes considered unprofessional by those not yet intellectually freed from the shackles of oppressive power.

Example 1:
Lecturer: This textbook on your required reading list is a piece of total fucking dog-shit! (throws the book into the lecture theatre to be fought over by the audience)

Student 1: This lecture is totally fucked up, man.

Student 2: Yeah...it's fuckin gonzo, dude.

Student 1: But that book IS totally shit, man.

Example 2:

Lecturer: So big corporations encourage you to volunteer in order that you can work for them for free in order that you can get good work experience for your CV so when you graduate you can get a good job with them, cos they already know you're a fucking gullible patsy who will serve them well for the future. Does that sound fucked up to you?

Student: (thinks...) Fuck, I volunteer for free all the time and never thought I was being taken advantage of. I love this Gonzo Lecture, it speaks truth.

Gonzo Lecture by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

pedagogy

A word used by academics to confuse students and justify all manner of outrageous crimes against humanity in the name of education. It is primarily applied in situations when an academic requires the ability to smokescreen their own maladjusted intention and win unwinnable arguments with the minimum amount of effort.

Jane "Professor, I'd like you to explain to me why I got such a low grade."

Professor "Well I don't really have the time to explain the inner workings of pedagogy to you young lady. Even if i did, I'm not sure I could help you to understand."

Jane "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Professor "You see? Exactly."

pedagogy by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

Work 

The deceitful act of making oneself appear busy during office hours in return for payment.

I'd love to help with that important task, but I've got some other work I need to do.

Work by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

office reorganisation 

A sadistic and senseless activity carried out by departmental managers to reassert their power over underlings when their previous cynical management strategies such as teamwork, motivation and front line empowerment have accidentally worked more effectively than could have ever been predicted. Office reorganisation involves creating a fictional reason for getting employees to throw out all their previous years' work, breaking up close collegial relationships and generally restoring a feeling of fear and intimidation which result in the employee realising once again who is in charge.

Manager: Well Bill, it looks like you'll need to move desks to the corner over there in the office reorganisation.

Bill: But I'm working quite well here next to Sandra. Also I have a lot of work to do at the moment.

Manager: Don't be a cunt Bill. Do what you're told. The office reorganisation takes top priority. Just get it done.

office reorganisation by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010