Tenacious Faulker's definitions

shit the bed

When something just goes wrong...really, really wrong.

"'Shyte' the bed" in limey.

1) Sorry I was late. My car just shit the bed on the way over.
2) If your friends shit the bed and don't get us out of Harlem in the Klan costumes...
3) Last night I thought I had to fart, but I shit the bed instead.

Use "Shyte" the bed" if you're limey.

by Tenacious Faulker May 2, 2008

bollocks

(n.) A coarse British exclamation meaning balls; testicles; scrotum. It is often be used as an expletive in place of balls, damn, shit, crap, fuck, etc., but, oddly on occassion, also as a term of appraisal and even esteem.

(v.) A term meaning to screw something up; a fuck up. afail.

Also spelled "bollucks" usually by Americans.

Appraisal:
Nigel: Manchester United is nothing without David Beckham.
Cyril: That's a load of bollocks!

Exclamation:
Cyril: You know you danced with that girl with toilet paper stuck to your shoe?
Nigel: Bollocks!!

Esteem:
Nigel: Bar Keep! A round of pints, if you will. On me!
Cyril: Oy, Mate! You're the dog's bollocks!

Verb:
Cyril: You want me to be your wingman at the club tonight?
Nigel: No. After the toilet paper incident, I don't want you bollocksing up my chances again, mate.

by Tenacious Faulker February 19, 2010

beastie

1) (v.) To act crazy, outlandish, outrageous, stupid or retarded.

2) (adj.) Of or having the quality or flavor of the Beastie Boys lyrics, humor, or style (i.e. having sarcastic or biting humor, a flippant attitude, use of obscure cultural references, quoting or wearing kitschy and outlandish phrases or styles).

Yo, dawg, dem lyrics is Beastie, yo!

Derek got all beastie and saved his head like MCA.

Qwame gets all beastie when he drinks Brass Monkey 'cuz he gets retarded and up peoples faces.

by Tenacious Faulker March 30, 2009

earboob

When a woman leans down to hug a young lad or a seated male, his head often turns to the side in expectation of the embrace. The resultant contact is usually ear-to-boob, hence, earboob.

1) "I hate it when grandma hugs me at the dinner table because of the unadvoidable, old-lady earboob.

2) "I love when my Dad's hot, 20 year-old trophy, wife hugs me, but I have to settle on earboob because it would be awkward if I didn't turn my head."

by Tenacious Faulker January 16, 2009

ambulance drafting

Directly following an ambulance to or from an emergency in order to take advantage of the parted traffic in order to get ahead of your fellow commuters. Sometimes called ambulance chasing.

Man! Rush hour would've made me late for my job interiew, but fortunately there was a terrible accident. However, thanks to my ambulance drafting skills I was actually early. Too bad family of 5 had to die so I could land a job.

by Tenacious Faulker January 18, 2009

keep it on the up

1) Doing what society expects of you; being a proper ciizen; acting properly. Using socially acceptable behavior. Another way to say "walk the straight and narrow path"; being a "proper"citizen; straight laced.

2) The alternate name for "Troublemaker", by Weezer, by dumbasses because they only really listen to the chorus.

"Troublemaker" Exerpt, 2nd verse:

I'm growin' out my hair,

I'm movin' up to Cherokee,

I'm gonna be a rockstar,

And you will go ta bed with me,

'Cause I can't work a job,

Like any other slob,

Punchin' in and punchin' out
and suckin-up to "Bob".

Marryin' a bi-otch,

Havin' seven ki-ods,

Givin' up and growin' old,

And hopin' there's a God.

I'm a troublemaker,

Never been a faker.

Doin' things my own way

And never givin' up

I'm a troublemaker,

Not a doubletaker.

I don't have the patience to keep it on the up.

by Tenacious Faulker June 25, 2009

Romnesia

A condition of convenient memory loss that affects political candidates at election time. This is an chronic condition stemming from being an incurable asshole or insufferable idiot but one can still seek treatment since ObamaCare covers pre-existing conditions such as this.

Warning from the Surgeon General:

Romnesia is an unfortunate, chronic condition affecting 9 out of 10 politicians during election campaigns

Symptoms are: forgetting one's original political stances, pandering, short-term memory loss, long-term memory loss, voter confusion, flip-flopping, plagerizing others' ideas and speaking in Palin-dromes. Symptoms maybe be exacerbated when addressing crowds, during televised interviews or debating.

by Tenacious Faulker October 26, 2012