Telephony's definitions

flushlight

(n.) \flush'līt\ A flashlight (usually an LED flashlight) that's so pathetically dim for its size that you just want to viciously throw it at one of those wall-mounted porcelain uranators or into a toliet to watch it explode into hundreds of sharp little bits (the flashlight, not the pisscan or the shitbowl).

{Linda}: Hey Freddy, please go grab me the flashlight so I can see what's making that squeaky noise behind the toliet!!!

{Freddy}: Got it! {click...click...click...} Shit! This fucking thing is a true flushlight if ever there was one! What a PWPOSMF!! It's so fucking dim that you couldn't see the bottom of an empty wastepaperbasket on a sunny day!!!

by Telephony November 6, 2012

micturition you!

A phrase used to indicate the fact that something or somebody reeks a little.
A bit stronger than pee you!!! but not ***NEARLY*** as strong as piss you!!!.

FYI micturition is another name for pee.

Micturition you! That cup of yogurt I just opened is a bit stinky. Must have gone off a few days ago.

by Telephony April 6, 2015

gnards

Another name for male testicles (balls, nads, nuts, gonads, etc.)

Look at that video! It shows this guy falling off a fence and landing on his gnards right on the top rail!! OUCH!!!

by Telephony November 12, 2015

my little poo-poo book

A paperback novel or small magazine that you usually only read while sitting on the john to leave a shit (I know it's supposed to be take a shit, but in the immortal words of the late great comedian George Carlin, you don't TAKE a shit, you LEAVE one).

I'm going to bring my little poo-poo book to the bathroom with me while I go drop a stool.

by Telephony January 24, 2014

spark up a "C"

It simply means the act of lighting a siggeret.
Based upon the phrase, spark up a j but the "C" here means cigarette.

Hold on there cowboy, let me spark up a "C" before we take off!

by Telephony July 19, 2014

for Christ sakes

It means the same as for Christ's sake! but please note the spelling & syntax.

{John}: Hey Josh, quick! Check out that blimp about to crash into a radio tower!
{Josh}: For Christ sakes John, that looks just like the pictures of the Hindenburg crash that I've seen!!!

by Telephony September 25, 2013

Freshness With a Fuck

A fake, phoney-bologna jingle sung to the tune of the Glade Spin-Fresh air deodouriser jingle.
The phrase, "plug it up" is how one would say, "plug it in" in the UK.

♫Freshness with a fuck,♫
♫Plug it up plug it up!♫

The phrase, "plug it up" is how one says, "plug it in" in the UK.

by Telephony July 13, 2017