Telephony's definitions

douchenoozle

A common misspelling of the word douchenozzle; the misspelling became the norm at a BBS about TV commercials we all hate; it then became rather commonplace.

Dave is such a fucking douchenoozle for stuffing a roll of paper towelling and three boxes of tampons down our toliet bowl.

by Telephony December 6, 2011

Cabbage White

Common name given to the Cabbage Butterfly (species Pieris rapae), which is a small white butterfly that is widespread and populations can be found across Europe, North Africa, Asia, and Great Britain. It has also been accidentally introduced to North America, Australia and New Zealand.

{Marge}: Honey, look over there! There's a Cabbage White fluttering around that rhody bush.
{Drake}: It's a small white butterfly for Christ sakes -- as if I gave a rat's patootie about it!!!

by Telephony August 18, 2014

fece

The singular form of the word feces; that is to say, a single stool floating in the shitbowl or lying on the ground, waiting to be stepped in and subsequently tracked inside the house.

{Hoolio}: Hey look out Hozay, there's a fece that you're about to step in!!!
{Hozay}: Thanks Hoolio! I'm glad that you told me about that so I didn't step on it and track it all over the rug inside!

{Horhay}: Hey George, did you forget to flush? There's a fece half covered in bungwipe floating in the water and you're the last one to use the bathroom!

by Telephony September 6, 2013

toilet muscle

A phrase that simply means "butt" or "ass".

One lousy screw fell off and you have to do all of ***THAT***?!? Man, what a pain in the toilet muscle!!!

by Telephony November 15, 2010

spit diaper

A partial facemask put on prisoners who have a nasty tendency to spit or hawk loogies at the arresting officer(s), courtroom inhabitants (judge, bailiff, prosecuting attorneys, jury members, court reporter, etc.), prison employees, and so on. Spit diapers fit relatively tightly over the mouth & nose of the offending spitter, and are fastened to the face with thin elastic bands that fit around the ears.

Eduardo kept spitting at the cops, so they gave him a spit diaper right after he had his mugshot.

by Telephony December 27, 2015

I don't give a dirty handkerchief

Means the same as, "I don't give a flying fuck", "I don't give a Funyun", "I don't give a rat's patootie", etc.
This is a clean way of saying it -- though that hankie really needs to go in the wash. :-)

WarGrowlmon: What? Beelzemon?

Taomon: What are you doing here?

Rapidmon: Looking to hit us while we’re down, huh? That’s your style right?

Beelzemon: Hey, trash me if you want but I swear I’m here to help.

Rapidmon: Do you even know the meaning of the word?

Beelzemon: I’m on the level fellas, really.

WarGrowlmon growls at him.

Beelzemon: But I don't give a dirty handkerchief if you believe me or not, cause my partners believe in me.

Flashback to Mako giving Impmon his gun.

Mako: You can blast all the bad guys with it.

by Telephony December 24, 2014

Twenty Stick-Bent-Stick

The year 2015 (written or typed) as seen from above looks like bent sticks.

{As a daily check-in on a BBS about wheelchairs might look)}:

01-02-15 {or "2015 02 Jan.", or even "January 02, Twenty Stick-Bent-Stick" if you prefer}
Just making my daily check-in from Juneau AK. USA...my people (who live in Nicaragua) we have but two bungholes...er...uh...I mean I only have a sodding pair of updates for my website today"...the first concerns my having added a flight video of my Syma Armor F1 Single-Rotor R/C Helicopter (with Li:Poly battery) to a web page made for just that purpose, and the second is...well, what else could it be? An adulterated bag of dry cat food? YAAAAYYY YOU GOT ONE CORRECT!!!

by Telephony December 4, 2014