Telephony's definitions

There's poo-poo on the floor

When you find that your beloved pet dog has defecated all over the floor (the kitchen floor in particular; but carpeted floors throughout the house would still qualify), you sing this little jingle.

{Sung to the tune of the nursery rhyme, "The Farmer in the Dell"}:

♫ There's poo-poo on the floor, ♫
♫ There's poo-poo on the floor, ♫
♫ Don't shit in the stereo ♫
♫ There's poo-poo on the floor, ♫

by Telephony August 30, 2016

There's pee-pee on the floor

When you find that your beloved pet dog or cat has piddled (pissed, passed micturition, uranated, pottied, peed, etc.) all over the floor (the kitchen floor in particular; but carpeted floors throughout the house would still qualify), you sing this little jingle.

{Sung to the tune of the nursery rhyme, "The Farmer in the Dell"}:

♫ There's pee-pee on the floor, ♫

♫ There's pee-pee on the floor, ♫

♫ Don't step in the litter box ♫

♫ There's pee-pee on the floor, ♫

by Telephony August 31, 2016

didgeridon't

People who hate the sound that a didgeridoo makes call it a didgeridon't.

I fucking hate that cocksucking didgeridon't being "played" by the dock! Sounds like a motherfucking wounded elephant trying to give birth!!! :-(

by Telephony September 12, 2016

There's Poo-Poo In the Head

A fictional, phoney-bologna, fake made-up song sung to the tune of the children's song, "The Farmer in the Dell".
Sung when you lift the toliet lid and find that some total asshaberedasher has left a big fat shit in the bowl and failed to flush.

♫ There's poo-poo in the head ♫
♫ There's poo-poo in the head ♫
♫ Don't forget to flush again ♫
♫ There's poo-poo in the head ♫

by Telephony September 12, 2016

homophones

Gay telephones!

Look at those two old rotary telephones on that desk. Note the way their cords are all tangled up with one another -- they must be homophones of some kind!

by Telephony September 21, 2016

feline flagellated segment of a fece female parent inseminator

A polite way of saying the phrase, "pussywhipped piece of shit motherfucker.

This blender is a real feline flagellated segment of a fece female parent inseminator -- the little fucker can't even make a stupid margarita and always reeks like burned wires!

by Telephony October 10, 2016

faggy clothes

Another term for, "gay apparel".
N.B., the word gay didn't mean back in the 19th century when the song, "Deck the Halls" was written what it means in the 21st century. :-/

Definitions:
19th century: Gay = bright & lively, NOT homosexual.
21st century: Gay = a total faggot man! Do I have to spell it out for you? ;-)

Deck the Halls: how it's supposed to go:

♫Deck the halls with boughs of holly, ♫
♫Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♫
♫Tis the season to be jolly,♫

♫Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♫
♫Don we now our gay apparel, ♫
♫Fa la la, la la la, la la la. ♫

How it COULD go:

♫Deck the halls with boughs of holly, ♫
♫Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♫
♫Tis the season to be jolly,♫
♫Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♫
♫Putting on our faggy clothes, ♫
♫Fa la la, la la la, la la la. ♫

by Telephony November 11, 2016