THE OLD SCHOOLER's definitions

Bahai Blast

A divine soda. Taco Bell is the seat of a contented colon and a nourished soul. To eat it is to feel joy. To feel joy is to eat it. It is beautiful. Yet to properly respect this most sacred gift of God it must be and only can be consumed with the proper traditional drink. Truly a drink which consumed by the right soul can lead to All-Venerable Spiritual Ecstasy! A pop who's heavenly flavor bubbles up to eternal life! The beverage of the Aeon. Once, an Angel came down and troubled the waters of an extra-large cup of Bahai Blast. Any man who drinks thereof drinks to eternal life! When someone thinks this is merely a joke or disrespectful to the religion, remember, all of my memories are very precious blessings that I owe to God. Even the good food and drink that I was blessed to consume growing up and till this very day. This isn't even ironic. When God so created the hard-shell taco, he so created the Bahai Blast in that very same breath. And to this day, the closeness of these two seemingly unrelated words is not lost on me. The mystery of the Bahai Blast is real! No disrespect. This is actually highest respect. Even little blessings from God are sacred. Plus it's just really good.

The Bahai Blast went great with that Chipotle Ranch Chicken Burrito!

by THE OLD SCHOOLER July 18, 2023

shiba inu

He a cute doggo. So cute he steal yo girl.

bf: I love you girl- aww hell naw-why she leaving with that shiba inu?
gf: You're not floofy enough!
shiba: Doing you a seduce...

by THE OLD SCHOOLER November 4, 2018

Youtube Comment Section

One of the most god awful hang outs of insufferable dick heads and autistic retards on the internet. Stupid ass comments are a common sight and arguments by wannabe intellectuals run rampant. You can't even watch a cute puppy video without finding an ugly racial discussion just a few margins down. No matter how benign your comment may be in a YouTube Comment Section, some body will reply with hate. Half of them can't even spell.

I was feeling a bit depressed over the fucked up state of the human condition lately, so to brighten my spirits, I watched a cute puppy vid. I was feeling happy again but then I made the mistake of scrolling down to that filthy YouTube Comment Section. An appalling slue of cyber jerk comments immediately assaulted my eyes. My faith in humanity is all but gone.

by THE OLD SCHOOLER September 22, 2017

Scooby Doo

The birth place of all teenage stoners and neck beards who call Shaggy their father.

Remember Scooby Doo? That shit was my childhood man!!!!

by THE OLD SCHOOLER September 22, 2017

Booty Flask

A flask you keep in your back pocket to take out and pass around when shit gets boring. (So always) Good for church, school, work, family occasions, funerals ect.

Person 1: This church lunch is so boring!
Person 2: I know right? Lucky for you I always got me trusty booty flask!

by THE OLD SCHOOLER December 1, 2018

tapeworm

He is in arguably the gayest of all creatures. He's pink, he's a worm, and he likes to go up your butt.

I got a tapeworm from eating Chipotle.

by THE OLD SCHOOLER November 8, 2018

Urban Dictionary

A place where lots of shitty definitions are accepted but some of my best ones are turned down.

Dude 1:Man, I was looking at some of those definitions people put on Urban Dictionary, and half of them were not even that funny.
Dude 2: I know right? Like half of my best ones weren't even accepted!

by THE OLD SCHOOLER October 1, 2017