THE OLD SCHOOLER's definitions

Bahai Blast

A divine soda. Taco Bell is the seat of a contented colon and a nourished soul. To eat it is to feel joy. To feel joy is to eat it. It is beautiful. Yet to properly respect this most sacred gift of God it must be and only can be consumed with the proper traditional drink. Truly a drink which consumed by the right soul can lead to All-Venerable Spiritual Ecstasy! A pop who's heavenly flavor bubbles up to eternal life! The beverage of the Aeon. Once, an Angel came down and troubled the waters of an extra-large cup of Bahai Blast. Any man who drinks thereof drinks to eternal life! When someone thinks this is merely a joke or disrespectful to the religion, remember, all of my memories are very precious blessings that I owe to God. Even the good food and drink that I was blessed to consume growing up and till this very day. This isn't even ironic. When God so created the hard-shell taco, he so created the Bahai Blast in that very same breath. And to this day, the closeness of these two seemingly unrelated words is not lost on me. The mystery of the Bahai Blast is real! No disrespect. This is actually highest respect. Even little blessings from God are sacred. Plus it's just really good.

The Bahai Blast went great with that Chipotle Ranch Chicken Burrito!

by THE OLD SCHOOLER July 18, 2023

Mango Bitch Slap

Not as good a drink as "coconut what did you just say to me?" But passible. It gets the job done. I'ma beat your ass with it.

What you want me to put it in a sentence? Fuck you! I'm a just keep drinking mango bitch slap

by THE OLD SCHOOLER July 18, 2023

Booty Flask

A flask you keep in your back pocket to take out and pass around when shit gets boring. (So always) Good for church, school, work, family occasions, funerals ect.

Person 1: This church lunch is so boring!
Person 2: I know right? Lucky for you I always got me trusty booty flask!

by THE OLD SCHOOLER December 1, 2018

dead ass

When shit is real. I mean REAL, real.

I think I'm gonna take that last shot like, dead ass.

by THE OLD SCHOOLER November 21, 2018

Thanksgiving

A holiday to celebrate everything we're grateful for. Like killing off the majority of a once great people and turning their beautiful continent into a shopping mall. After eating one hella big meal, we get drunk and head over to the local mall for black Friday. That's where we cut off a five year old girl's arm to get to the doll that she was reaching for. Sodomizing a big bird with some bread crumbs is a dinner staple.

Bob: Happy Thanksgiving my dude!
Jake: Thanks man, but I still feel like I ain't got shit to be grateful for.
Native guy: I literally don't have running water at my house.

by THE OLD SCHOOLER November 21, 2018

oobama

He shines with awesomeness. When you gaze upon his glorious likeness,the only sound you'll be able to utter is "oo."

Person 1: Is that...?
Person 2: Yes, oobama!

by THE OLD SCHOOLER November 8, 2018

Creeper

The picture below pretty much explains it.

That's one jeeper of a Creeper.

by THE OLD SCHOOLER November 8, 2018