Stuart Fletcher's definitions

Jap's eye

British slang <n> (Offensive)
The only externally visible part of the urethra on a male where semen and urine is secreted from the body.
Known as a 'Jap's eye' due to the similarity between the shape of the stereotypical Japanese eye and that the opening on the penis is much like a slit.
Although the phrase is not used in a directly racist manner, people of Far Eastern origin may take offence to the use of the term.

"Jeremy inserted a drill bit into his Jap's eye and proceeded to utterly maim himself."

by Stuart Fletcher November 3, 2004

Knob-Cheese

<noun> Offensive Chiefly British Slang

The implication that the subject of the insult is indeed so insignificant as to suggest that they are equal only to the small particles of sweat, semen and urine to be found twix the folds of the foreskin and/or other parts of the penis.

BAZZA: "Aww Chazza you fuckin' knob-cheese!"
CHAZZA: "Dahn fuckin' call me a knob-cheese, y' piece o' shit!"

by Stuart Fletcher January 29, 2005

Baby Batter

<noun> British slang
Male ejaculate, semen, penile ejecta, a bomb-load of jizz.

Seeing as sperm is the cause of 99.9% of pregnancies - resulting in babies - it was only a matter of time before someone made the connection between sperm and babies and formed the phrase Baby batter as a metaphor for come/cum.

See also Baby Gravy

"Jasper fired his 6oz load of baby batter into Margaret's face, and she supped it up like a glass of warm, creamy milk."

by Stuart Fletcher November 3, 2004

Penny has Dropped

<colloquial expression>

If the "penny has dropped" it means someone has finally realised the situation they are in after possibly being unaware of it for a long time, depending on the situation.

==> The phrase dates back to the Victorian Era and the popular penny-slot arcades. The penny would often stick halfway down the slot and the user would then have to either wait, or give the machine a thump before the 'penny finally dropped' and they could begin playing.

THOMAS: "You know... The other day with the beavers?"
COLIN: "........."
THOMAS: "We used their dam as a bridge?"
COLIN: "........."
THOMAS: "Ruined their homes?"
COLIN: "OHHHHHHHH, now I get you."
GARY: "Ah, the penny has finally dropped. Stupid fool."

by Stuart Fletcher January 22, 2005

Spesh

<noun> Chiefly British Slang

1) To be one of a mentally diminished nature. See: retard

==> Term is a derivative of 'special' as some mentally challenged people are put in special areas of school and/or are known as "special people."

The term is used in a lighthearted sense to people who are not clinically disabled. Merely people who are known for doing absurd or stupid things.

FLETCH: "That fucking Fisheye... He's such an idiot!"
SCOTT: "Yeah he's such a fucking spesh."
FISHEYE: "Huh huh, I'm making a brew, shag yer bird, shag yer bird! Huh huh!"

by Stuart Fletcher April 2, 2005

Absolute zero

<n>

1) Science; The temperature at which any molecule will oscillate/vibrate at it's slowest speed.
e.g.:-
-273ºC
-459ºF
0ºK.

2) Slang; A hopeless person.

1) "And so class, we can now see that this material has reached absolute zero. The molecules are at the slowest they'll ever be."

2) "Godfrey is an absolute zero."

by Stuart Fletcher November 7, 2004

B.O.

<noun> Slang abbreviation;

Literally, Body Odour. The smell that it created when bacteria feeds on sweat hence making it stale. Often unpleasant.

SIMON: "Charles, you have B.O. Go and wash your armpits!"
CHARLES: "I have taken your offensive statement and unmitigated imperative into account and have calculated an appropiate answer to your utterance: No."

by Stuart Fletcher January 18, 2005