Squid Wrangler's definitions
A term used to smear a bonafide war hero who, contrary to what the fuhrer would like his flock to believe, was indifferent to the whole hippie movement and wasn't even very close to Jane Fonda at all. Also a term used to describe someone whose actual records and actions, although confirmed by the navy and readily on display on their campaign site, is endlessly contradicted by a bunch of people who weren't even there and villified by others who are too lazy to check for themselves (see Bush voter). Anyone who suffers reputational losses due to slander.
Although the surveillance tape clearly showed Tommy taking the first swing, Andy ended up being the John Fonda and was suspended for fighting.
by Squid Wrangler March 28, 2005
Get the John Fonda mug.A member of the tremendous battalion of lame New Jersey post-hardcore/power pop/blargh/pseudo-genre bending radio-friendly over-produced bands that have recently broken into the American mainstream in an unexpected manner. One of the many bands who are worshipped by legions of former preps who now wear studded belts, Chuck Taylors, and check their Myspace account every six minutes. Fans of My Chemical Romance are usually in-between everything. They're too "refined" to like Linkin Park, Korn, and other ultra-mainstream angst-peddlers but too dense and flat to really do much more than haphazardly dabble in bands that are somewhat more challenging to get into, such as pre-"Dark Side of the Moon" Pink Floyd and Sonic Youth.
My Chemical Romance is mainly at home in combining the sad-sack tendencies of emo lyrics and the overbearing self-absorption found therein (yes I know they're not emo you fucking idiots, emo is a very specific style of music that for all practical purposes has been dead for a few years. But you're truly a moron if you don't think they at least borrow some elements of that genre) with the overdone theatrics of prog rock and metal while having absolutely none of the virtuosity associated with those genres. Makes use of the same limp musicianship that is present in every other generic "dynamic" or "emotional" (short for "not really good at anything") rock band currently making 16 year old girls with glasses and acne cream their pants across the country.
Speaking of their lyrics, this band is nothing special when compared to their peers while absolutely awful compared to somewhat decent bands. One of the "good songs" another person mentioned in another definition contains the following lyrics:
" And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart
And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone call the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
You put the spike in my heart"
Good God. Nothing but lame, weak metaphors about hearts, souls, secrets, gaping holes in all three, and other asinine, pretentious bullshit that is showcased in most songs in this God-forsaken genre. Overblown, meandering pablum that doesn't really even mean anything.
My Chemical Romance is mainly at home in combining the sad-sack tendencies of emo lyrics and the overbearing self-absorption found therein (yes I know they're not emo you fucking idiots, emo is a very specific style of music that for all practical purposes has been dead for a few years. But you're truly a moron if you don't think they at least borrow some elements of that genre) with the overdone theatrics of prog rock and metal while having absolutely none of the virtuosity associated with those genres. Makes use of the same limp musicianship that is present in every other generic "dynamic" or "emotional" (short for "not really good at anything") rock band currently making 16 year old girls with glasses and acne cream their pants across the country.
Speaking of their lyrics, this band is nothing special when compared to their peers while absolutely awful compared to somewhat decent bands. One of the "good songs" another person mentioned in another definition contains the following lyrics:
" And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart
And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone call the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
You put the spike in my heart"
Good God. Nothing but lame, weak metaphors about hearts, souls, secrets, gaping holes in all three, and other asinine, pretentious bullshit that is showcased in most songs in this God-forsaken genre. Overblown, meandering pablum that doesn't really even mean anything.
by Squid Wrangler May 13, 2005
Get the My Chemical Romance mug.The recipients of a long-deserved ass kicking from the Carolina Panthers last Sunday. 27-17. The NFL's so-called greatest quarterback was sacked twice and picked off by the league's best defense while their rushing game was held back to sub-40 yards. The sheer joy of seeing Tom Brady weeping like a little girl on the sidelines as the fourth quarter wound down was almost overwhelming.
Steve Smith, Stephen Davis, Ricky Proehl, Julius Peppers, Mike Rucker, Will Witherspoon, and Ken Lucas owned the Patriots.
by Squid Wrangler December 28, 2005
Get the Patriots mug.by Squid Wrangler May 8, 2005
Get the lollapalooza mug.The most terrible band of the past 15 years. Everything about them sucks. This fact has been well documented in countless web pages, reviews, and articles all over the Internet so I won't go into many details. Fred Durst is a closet egomaniac; the fact that he just happened to be oafing around in the right place at the right time when the music industry went through another in a long series of bizarre, unexpected detours through inexplicable-trend-land and the spotlight fell on dudes with baggy pants, downtuned guitars, and borderline-retarded grunting in place of actual vocals has filled him with the worst kind of foolish, brash pride that has been well documented by concert promoters, radio staff, and various other industry insiders. Wes Borland is not talented; he just owns a lot of stomp boxes. I'm not a "hater"; I just have ears. Their new record, which appears to be some kind of awful attempt at making a political/social statement, debuted at #24 on the Billboard Top 200 and sold about 37,000 copies it's first week out, which subsequently slid to 12,000 copies when week two rolled around. Ouch. So much for "still raking in millions", right Chase?
Fred Durst was raised in Gastonia, North Carolina; a town about an hour from where I live. This fact fills me with shame.
by Squid Wrangler June 30, 2005
Get the limp bizkit mug.A right-wing blog run by Jesse and John, two psychopaths with a bizarre love for the Bush administration and complete, cess-ridden hatred for the left. One of the main draws of the site is the fact that Jesse is 15 years old and has parents that seemingly don't mind their son publishing slanderous and outright threatening tirades on the internet. His age definitely shines through as his articles are usually rife with spelling and grammar errors while typically sporting an extremely juvenile and immature tone about them.
The Jesee Factor usually features baseless and extremely vulgar attacks against liberals and Democrats that often fall apart once further analyzed. In one memorable entry, John claimed that there is much more oil in Alaska than there is in Iraq and as such, oil could not have been among the reasons to spark that particular conflict. A quick visit to the Energy Information Administration website, a branch of the US Department of Energy, proved him to be almost pitifully wrong. Not only that, the number he used to describe the amount of oil in Alaska (16 billion barrels) is the most optimistic one available, frequently contradicted by many experts, and a number often cited by a pro-drilling Alaskan senator alone.
They often do not include sources for their most controversial and damning assertions (stating that the Kerry family bought $500,000 in Halliburton stock, for instance) and usually resort to ad hominem attacks along with homophobic slurs to take up space in their rants. The writing often resembles that of a third-tier Maddox ripoff rather than the biting social and political commentary they were no doubt aiming for.
The Jesse Factor is more or less an extremely annoying variant of what is becoming a run-of-the mill internet presence: crazy assholes who think they know everything publishing their half-coherent drivel for everyone to see.
The Jesee Factor usually features baseless and extremely vulgar attacks against liberals and Democrats that often fall apart once further analyzed. In one memorable entry, John claimed that there is much more oil in Alaska than there is in Iraq and as such, oil could not have been among the reasons to spark that particular conflict. A quick visit to the Energy Information Administration website, a branch of the US Department of Energy, proved him to be almost pitifully wrong. Not only that, the number he used to describe the amount of oil in Alaska (16 billion barrels) is the most optimistic one available, frequently contradicted by many experts, and a number often cited by a pro-drilling Alaskan senator alone.
They often do not include sources for their most controversial and damning assertions (stating that the Kerry family bought $500,000 in Halliburton stock, for instance) and usually resort to ad hominem attacks along with homophobic slurs to take up space in their rants. The writing often resembles that of a third-tier Maddox ripoff rather than the biting social and political commentary they were no doubt aiming for.
The Jesse Factor is more or less an extremely annoying variant of what is becoming a run-of-the mill internet presence: crazy assholes who think they know everything publishing their half-coherent drivel for everyone to see.
"I heard that Jesse of the Jesse Factor is a Libertarian. Well excuse me all to hell for being a Democrat, looks like this kid sides with the real winners."
by Squid Wrangler March 21, 2005
Get the The Jesse Factor mug.If you hear this word mentioned in a positive light, odds are someone rich is talking.
Deregulation of various industries is a concept loudly heralded by Republicans and Conservatives in general as a means to "promote competition" and "stimulate the economy". These people can be trusted of course because, as we all know, their brilliant strategy of cutting taxes for the people most likely to send labor off American shores and setting the tax burden on the lower and middle classes is working like a charm.
Anyone with half a brain can quickly figure out that they're more or less looking for a friendlier way of saying they'd like to make it easier to act outside the law, let unsafe and under-tested products roll off assembly lines on the cheap, and bring back the days before the Clayton Antitrust Act; a glorious time period in which the grand-daddies of the current crop of Republicans made their money and earned their clout.
Deregulation of various industries is a concept loudly heralded by Republicans and Conservatives in general as a means to "promote competition" and "stimulate the economy". These people can be trusted of course because, as we all know, their brilliant strategy of cutting taxes for the people most likely to send labor off American shores and setting the tax burden on the lower and middle classes is working like a charm.
Anyone with half a brain can quickly figure out that they're more or less looking for a friendlier way of saying they'd like to make it easier to act outside the law, let unsafe and under-tested products roll off assembly lines on the cheap, and bring back the days before the Clayton Antitrust Act; a glorious time period in which the grand-daddies of the current crop of Republicans made their money and earned their clout.
"Deregulating the __________ industry is essential to promote competition and stimulate the economy."
-Every Republican politician or businessman has uttered these words at least one time in his career.
-Every Republican politician or businessman has uttered these words at least one time in his career.
by Squid Wrangler May 10, 2005
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