Definitions by Space Wrangler
The Schedule
The Schedule is an oppressive form of authority that forcefully presides over your life. Most people have to be on some sort of a schedule. People in prison have it really rough in terms of the schedule, students in school are under the oppressive tyranny of the schedule, and people at work are forced to abide by the schedule. It's very rare that someone won't be required to follow a schedule. Sometimes wealthy adults get to not have to follow a schedule.
What the schedule is is a list of times and places you have to be. It is literally the radical opposite of freedom. Some people willingly attempt to plan out their lives, which invariably results in having a schedule. People like me are aware of it and avoid schedules at any and all costs. At work I have to follow a schedule, but when I'm off, I'm free. To hell with the schedule. Imagine, blocks of time where you legally are required to be OR ELSE, even if you DON'T WANT TO. It's essentially slavery.
Bottom Line: Never plan shit out if you aren't required to. You will be sorry. If you are in school, you'll be free eventually. If you are at work, you might be getting off soon. Stand tough, burn the schedule.
What the schedule is is a list of times and places you have to be. It is literally the radical opposite of freedom. Some people willingly attempt to plan out their lives, which invariably results in having a schedule. People like me are aware of it and avoid schedules at any and all costs. At work I have to follow a schedule, but when I'm off, I'm free. To hell with the schedule. Imagine, blocks of time where you legally are required to be OR ELSE, even if you DON'T WANT TO. It's essentially slavery.
Bottom Line: Never plan shit out if you aren't required to. You will be sorry. If you are in school, you'll be free eventually. If you are at work, you might be getting off soon. Stand tough, burn the schedule.
At Graduation:
Jill: So Bill where are you going to college?
Bill: North University, you?
Jill: Foxcreek. Now that we've graduated and don't have to follow the schedule, do you want to set it on fire with me?
Bill: Sure Jill! Let's burn the schedule!
Jill: So Bill where are you going to college?
Bill: North University, you?
Jill: Foxcreek. Now that we've graduated and don't have to follow the schedule, do you want to set it on fire with me?
Bill: Sure Jill! Let's burn the schedule!
The Schedule by Space Wrangler August 6, 2021
Crickets
Something you say after a long and awkward silence. If something is silent, you would be able to hear crickets chirping, hence the phrase.
Guy: So when's the big day??
Woman: What are you talking about?
Guy: Oh you're not pregnant?
Dead silence.
Guy 2: Crickets
Woman: What are you talking about?
Guy: Oh you're not pregnant?
Dead silence.
Guy 2: Crickets
Crickets by Space Wrangler August 5, 2021
The Bridge
Station on the Sirius XM radio network that makes you want to jump off a bridge, as aptly titled. They play only the worst music from the 60's and 70's from artists who might have been popular at a time, but have degenerated to "has-been" status for the most part.
"After a long day of work and listening to this cheese on The Bridge, I think I'm going to jump off of the bridge tonight. At least I won't have to work tomorrow and hear it again."
The Bridge by Space Wrangler August 3, 2021
Action Figure
A doll for boys (and sometimes even grown men, no joke). Don't ever let anyone try to fool you that action figures aren't dolls. There's no real difference besides the title.
"I'm looking for a Han Solo Action Figure"
"Oh so you're an adult who plays with dolls huh?"
"I SAID ACTION FIGURE!!! IT'S NOT A DOLL!!!!!"
"Okay, would you also like a Princess Leia doll to go with Han?"
"STFU!!!!!!"
"Oh so you're an adult who plays with dolls huh?"
"I SAID ACTION FIGURE!!! IT'S NOT A DOLL!!!!!"
"Okay, would you also like a Princess Leia doll to go with Han?"
"STFU!!!!!!"
Action Figure by Space Wrangler July 31, 2021
Quora
A shitty website where idiots ask stupid questions and get likewise stupid and long-winded answers about what is considered "appropriate" by people claiming authority.
To get the gist of Quora,
"Is it rude to interrupt people?"
"Well, according to the research conducted by Phillip Samuel Carruthers (Ph.D.) in 2017 at Cambridge University, in an experiment to assess social acceptability vs. impoliteness, it was ultimately determined that interrupting a conversation without saying a proper "Excuse me" or "Pardon me", or even "I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation", was considered extremely rude, offensive, and inappropriate. These three bases for trial were comprehensively compared to talking to somebody in a conversation whilst omitting a proper conversation starter. In some cases, people actually indicated that speaking without this proper introduction was "very rude", often with anger elicited as the conditioned response. In all four potential trials, the question was "Do you enjoy purple?".
Personally, as a member of Politeness International (1987), as well as the Societal Center for Advancement of Manners (SCAM) (2003), I would absolutely say that interrupting any conversation PERIOD is a major violation of social norms in any society, and it should never be tolerated, as it is very inappropriate. If anybody even considers interrupting your conversation, always either ignore them, or say "Please, I'm having a conversation as you can see. Thank you."
"Is it rude to interrupt people?"
"Well, according to the research conducted by Phillip Samuel Carruthers (Ph.D.) in 2017 at Cambridge University, in an experiment to assess social acceptability vs. impoliteness, it was ultimately determined that interrupting a conversation without saying a proper "Excuse me" or "Pardon me", or even "I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation", was considered extremely rude, offensive, and inappropriate. These three bases for trial were comprehensively compared to talking to somebody in a conversation whilst omitting a proper conversation starter. In some cases, people actually indicated that speaking without this proper introduction was "very rude", often with anger elicited as the conditioned response. In all four potential trials, the question was "Do you enjoy purple?".
Personally, as a member of Politeness International (1987), as well as the Societal Center for Advancement of Manners (SCAM) (2003), I would absolutely say that interrupting any conversation PERIOD is a major violation of social norms in any society, and it should never be tolerated, as it is very inappropriate. If anybody even considers interrupting your conversation, always either ignore them, or say "Please, I'm having a conversation as you can see. Thank you."
Quora by Space Wrangler July 31, 2021
Anniversary
Just another dumb ass quasi-holiday that you're forced to remember, recognize, and celebrate or else you won't get a blowjob that night.
"God damnit I fucking forgot to get her chocolate on our Anniversary today shit I'm totally fucked."
Anniversary by Space Wrangler July 29, 2021
Christmas in July
When Christian and Catholic hypocrites people come together at the tail end of July to defy the teachings of their Lord Jesus by selling shit.
Here is why Christmas in July violates what is written about Jesus in The Bible:
Matthew 21:12 (King James Version)
"And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves."
Although the scenery of being in a house of worship differs, the concept remains the same: selling shit in Jesus' name. Call it a sale, call it a discount fest, whatever, but definitely don't fucking call it Christmas in July; Jesus wasn't born until December so stop fucking it up.
Matthew 21:12 (King James Version)
"And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves."
Although the scenery of being in a house of worship differs, the concept remains the same: selling shit in Jesus' name. Call it a sale, call it a discount fest, whatever, but definitely don't fucking call it Christmas in July; Jesus wasn't born until December so stop fucking it up.
Christmas in July by Space Wrangler July 25, 2021