Definitions by Smallestdaddylongleg
First-Name Coward
“Don’t trust a first-name coward. They’ve been hiding from ‘Jonathan’ since kindergarten.”
“A First-Name Coward’s greatest weakness is his government name”
“A First-Name Coward’s greatest weakness is his government name”
First-Name Coward by Smallestdaddylongleg July 13, 2026
Catholic Cosplayer
A Protestant who loves Catholic culture, history, and aesthetics but has no intention of becoming Catholic. Usually obsessed with the Knights Templar, Hospitallers, Teutonic Order, crusader history, saint artwork, and other Catholic traditions. May get Catholic-inspired art work of saints tattooed but modified to fit evangelical beliefs, constantly talk about crusading, and proudly display Catholic imagery while rejecting the theology behind it.
“John has a modified Saint Michael tattoo, wears a Knights Templar hoodie, posts about the Crusades every other week, dreams of joining a medieval knightly order, and can name every Catholic military order in history. Ask him about becoming Catholic, though, and suddenly he’s got a dozen reasons not to. Dude’s a total Catholic Cosplayer.”
Catholic Cosplayer by Smallestdaddylongleg June 30, 2026
Rainbow Roommate
A straight person who builds their entire personality around being the loudest LGBTQ ally in the room, despite not actually being part of the community. Frequently appears at Pride events, LGBTQ bars, drag shows, and advocacy rallies, flies a rainbow flag outside their house year round, and instinctively jumps into every online or real life argument to defend LGBTQ people, even when nobody asked them to.
“Chris has never missed a Pride parade, spends every weekend at the local LGBTQ bar, has a giant rainbow flag on his porch, and somehow manages to appear in every comment section defending LGBTQ people before anyone else can reply. He’s become the neighborhood’s resident Rainbow Roommate.”
Rainbow Roommate by Smallestdaddylongleg June 30, 2026
Catholic Cosplayer
A Protestant who enthusiastically adopts Catholic aesthetics, symbolism, history, or chivalric culture such as saint tattoos, crusader imagery, rosaries (as accessories), medieval knight iconography, Gregorian chant, or cathedral architecture all while having no intention of becoming Catholic or accepting Catholic doctrine.
Similar terms: Catholicophile Protestant, Catholic-Aesthetic Protestant, and Romanophile Protestant
Similar terms: Catholicophile Protestant, Catholic-Aesthetic Protestant, and Romanophile Protestant
Dude has a full sleeve of saints, owns three Templar hoodies, quotes medieval popes, and still says he’s staying Protestant. He’s a total Catholic cosplayer.
Him: ‘Deus Vult!’
Friend: ‘So… are you becoming Catholic?’
Him: ‘Absolutely not.’
Friend: ‘You keep role-playing the army without joining the kingdom.
He’s got all the Catholic DLC installed, but he’s still running the Protestant base game. The true meaning of a Catholic Cosplayer
He bought a leather Bible, framed Renaissance Catholic artwork in his office, got a Guido Reni Saint Michael Triumphing Over Satan tattoo, and constantly talks about Catholic knights but says converting is ‘going too far.’ That’s a first-ballot Catholic cosplayer.
He rejects Catholic doctrine, but his tattoo artist’s portfolio looks like a tour through the Vatican Museums. If that’s not Catholic cosplaying, what is?
I’d have been on the front lines of the Crusades!’
‘Cool… with whom?’
‘The crusaders.’
‘So… the Catholics?’
‘Let’s change the subject.
Friend 1: ‘You have a tattoo of Saint Michael Triumphing Over Satan, collect rosaries, and yell “Deus Vult!” every weekend.’
Friend 2: ‘Yeah.’
Friend 1: ‘So when are you converting?’
Friend 2: ‘Never.’
Friend 1: ‘That’s premium-grade heresy with premium-grade aesthetics.’
Him: ‘Deus Vult!’
Friend: ‘So… are you becoming Catholic?’
Him: ‘Absolutely not.’
Friend: ‘You keep role-playing the army without joining the kingdom.
He’s got all the Catholic DLC installed, but he’s still running the Protestant base game. The true meaning of a Catholic Cosplayer
He bought a leather Bible, framed Renaissance Catholic artwork in his office, got a Guido Reni Saint Michael Triumphing Over Satan tattoo, and constantly talks about Catholic knights but says converting is ‘going too far.’ That’s a first-ballot Catholic cosplayer.
He rejects Catholic doctrine, but his tattoo artist’s portfolio looks like a tour through the Vatican Museums. If that’s not Catholic cosplaying, what is?
I’d have been on the front lines of the Crusades!’
‘Cool… with whom?’
‘The crusaders.’
‘So… the Catholics?’
‘Let’s change the subject.
Friend 1: ‘You have a tattoo of Saint Michael Triumphing Over Satan, collect rosaries, and yell “Deus Vult!” every weekend.’
Friend 2: ‘Yeah.’
Friend 1: ‘So when are you converting?’
Friend 2: ‘Never.’
Friend 1: ‘That’s premium-grade heresy with premium-grade aesthetics.’
Catholic Cosplayer by Smallestdaddylongleg June 25, 2026
Alphabet Cuck
Someone who is straight (or assumed to be in the closet) who is abnormally supportive of the LGBTQ+ community.
Examples could be making numerous pro-LGBTQ+ posts online, attending pride rallies often, attends LGBTQ+ shows, bars, events, etc.
They can be seen flying rainbow flags, immediately rushing to their defense whenever someone says something negative about them, or conducting other actions that would make it hard to tell if they’re straight or a member of the LGBTQ+ in private.
They’re a cuck, in the way they sit on the sidelines cheering on the LGBTQ+ community sexual preferences but don’t partake in any actions themselves. They just sit in their chair, observe, loving it up, and will get emotional if you insult the group of people they enjoy spectating.
Examples could be making numerous pro-LGBTQ+ posts online, attending pride rallies often, attends LGBTQ+ shows, bars, events, etc.
They can be seen flying rainbow flags, immediately rushing to their defense whenever someone says something negative about them, or conducting other actions that would make it hard to tell if they’re straight or a member of the LGBTQ+ in private.
They’re a cuck, in the way they sit on the sidelines cheering on the LGBTQ+ community sexual preferences but don’t partake in any actions themselves. They just sit in their chair, observe, loving it up, and will get emotional if you insult the group of people they enjoy spectating.
Jeremey is married to a woman but flies an LGBTQ flag outside his house. He is either an Alphabet Cuck or in the closet.
Chris is frequent guest of the local drag shows and gay bars but is married to a woman. He gets mad whenever we call him an Alphabet Cuck, but will still defend being a frequent guest of those events.
Whenever someone makes a gay joke, Lindsay automatically rushes to their defense claiming who ever made the joke is in the closet themselves. But oddly, that is their go-to for every single joke they hear or see being made. We called her an Alphabet Cuck, but she claimed we are homophobic.
Chris is frequent guest of the local drag shows and gay bars but is married to a woman. He gets mad whenever we call him an Alphabet Cuck, but will still defend being a frequent guest of those events.
Whenever someone makes a gay joke, Lindsay automatically rushes to their defense claiming who ever made the joke is in the closet themselves. But oddly, that is their go-to for every single joke they hear or see being made. We called her an Alphabet Cuck, but she claimed we are homophobic.
Alphabet Cuck by Smallestdaddylongleg June 6, 2026
Political Jerry
A Political Jerry is someone who’s gullible and of dangerously low political intellect who lets their significant other or friend group change/manipulate their beliefs in a quick manner. The difference between most people and a Political Jerry is they start believing what ever is being told to them and start pretending to be a political scientist. Political Jerries will do things like post odd/cringey/false political stuff on social media, show up to protest/rallies they know nothing about about, and attempt in debating people who are more educated or qualified than them but always end up looking stupid.
Political Jerry’s are prone to getting upset/emotional when being corrected, made fun of (for posting dumb political stuff), or losing a debate they started. They don’t like to be told them and their “source(s)” of knowledge are wrong because they already feel intellectually vulnerable.
A Political Jerry is the most dangerous thing to democracy because they’ve shown their inability to think on their own, do proper research, and prefer to be told what to think.
Political Jerry’s are prone to getting upset/emotional when being corrected, made fun of (for posting dumb political stuff), or losing a debate they started. They don’t like to be told them and their “source(s)” of knowledge are wrong because they already feel intellectually vulnerable.
A Political Jerry is the most dangerous thing to democracy because they’ve shown their inability to think on their own, do proper research, and prefer to be told what to think.
Ever since Christina started hanging out with her new friends, she’s become a Political Jerry since all she does these days is talk about Pro-Russian politics. We asked her to point out Russia on a map and she pointed to Argentina.
Mark grew up mainly republican until he met his girlfriend a year ago. Now he’s become Political Jerry constantly uploading liberal stuff to his social media and in his group chats.
Our buddy Chris keeps has been a real political Jerry these days. He keeps getting all offended and emotional after getting made fun of for sending us either incorrect/inaccurate political memes. I don’t get it, he does this often and it’s a cycle that occurs often with him.
Mark grew up mainly republican until he met his girlfriend a year ago. Now he’s become Political Jerry constantly uploading liberal stuff to his social media and in his group chats.
Our buddy Chris keeps has been a real political Jerry these days. He keeps getting all offended and emotional after getting made fun of for sending us either incorrect/inaccurate political memes. I don’t get it, he does this often and it’s a cycle that occurs often with him.
Political Jerry by Smallestdaddylongleg July 27, 2023