Definitions by Shepherd Guy

Onigiri Parents 

Parents who are white on the outside, but Asian all the way through. Named after a type of rice cake from Japan that uses white rice.

Same unbalanced focus on grades/academics at expense of all else, same overbearing and overprotective nature, same perfectionist kids who burn out from anxiety.

Scott: Fuuuuuck, my parents yelled at me all night for getting an 89 on the last exam. I still have a 4.1 GPA, so I don’t see what the problem is. I can’t handle my parents anymore.

Richard: Sounds like a classic case of onigiri parents.

Onigiri Parents by Shepherd Guy April 18, 2022

Consume product 

To mindlessly buy shit you don’t need for stupid reasons, typically because it’s advertised well.

Don’t ask questions, just consume product and get excited for next products.

Consume product by Shepherd Guy January 31, 2022

InChad 

A Chad who never wanted to be a Chad in the first place. InChads are typically asexual, hate playing sports because theirs dads made them, and resent their own good looks.

Short for involuntary Chad.

Charlie played football back in high school. He hates talking to girls and shaved his head so girls would stop flirting with him. He’s an InChad.

InChad by Shepherd Guy December 20, 2021

Shlad 

A cute, wholesome little Chad who loves playing with Tonka Trucks.

Zoo Wee Mama! Shlad loves his new Tonka Truck. He epic!

Shlad by Shepherd Guy December 19, 2021

Shapiro Mode 

Sometimes referred to as Chipmunk Mode.

Slang for putting a video, especially a boring instructional video, on 2x speed to make it go by faster, typically because the presenter talks too slowly. So named because it makes the presenter sound like Ben Shapiro (or a chipmunk).

Ugh, another asynchronous lecture video. Let's save us some time and energy and put it into Shapiro Mode.

Shapiro Mode by Shepherd Guy September 1, 2021

ATCF

An acronym, short for "As The Crow Flies", or the shortest distance from point A to point B.

I fucking hate Austin's traffic. My drive to work is an hour long, despite being only 4 miles away ATCF.

ATCF by Shepherd Guy March 28, 2021

No Noel November 

It’s simple: don’t do anything Christmassy until Dec 1st. Don’t put up Christmas decorations, don’t vibe to Christmas music, and don’t dress like Santa Claus until November is over.

Alex: ZOMG! ITS NOV 1st AND YOU STILL DONT HAVE YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE UP? GET WITH THE TIMES!!!!!1!!!1!
Bryan: No Noel November,

man.

No Noel November by Shepherd Guy November 22, 2020