Bonafried

The realization that you are beyond question, so done like dinner with everybody else's drama - that you can't get out of the room fast enough!
When she erupted once again into a tirade of dramatic complaints about her life, everyone took a bonafried look to see who could get to the exit fastest.
by Scribester March 11, 2018
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Sacrifarce

What you give up, only to realize not long afterwards that it made zero sense at all to do so!
Getting married a second time was the biggest sacrifarce of my life.
by Scribester March 10, 2018
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Humarachnophobia

The fear that spiders have of humans.

Come on. You don't really expect that kind of sheer terror to go just one way, do you?
"Eeeeek! Oh, shit! " squealed Harold the brown recluse spider, frantically trying to climb back up to the ceiling of the campground outhouse after a camper daylighted him with a head lamp.

"Calm the frig down!" yelled his exhausted wife, tending to their egg sack in a large crack in the roof. "You've got to get out more, and deal with this Humarachnophobia problem of yours! You're going to traumatize our hundreds of children!"
by Scribester March 11, 2018
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Aero-Excretory Phobia

Fear of plummeting bird droppings.

Who HASN'T been crapped on by a junk eagle (aka: seagull), pigeon, or anything else with wings and a sniperous aim? It's enough to induce spontaneous vomiting! Seagulls eat fast food tossaways. Or anything . It's not just the gross green or yellow tinge as the bird-bomb slimes its way down your shoulder or side of the face - which triggers the big puke, it's also the stench.
The intensity of my Aero-Excretory Phobia is directly relative to the number of birds flying above my head.
by Scribester March 11, 2018
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Snobcracker

A person with a bat’s radar for snobbery who shades out the snob within minutes of first having to deal with any signs of elitism.

A great person to have in a mixed crowd if you don’t want to play nice with a jerk and would rather see someone else call them out.
Nice Person: “Oh God, do I have to deal with this BS again?”

Snobcracker: “I’ve got this.”
by Scribester March 13, 2018
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Semi Chrome Domer

A partially bald dude who's spent way too much time in the sun without a ballcap; can often use the shine off the top of his cranium as a key light to get into his pickup.

The female equivalent of this is a Semi Chrome Domeress.
Most common complaint heard by Semi Chrome Domers: "Put a hat on that bean, will ya? It's illegal to blind-out commercial aircraft!"
by Scribester March 11, 2018
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Matron-of-Dishonor

We all know at least one uninhibited girlfriend who really blew it at somebody's wedding by drinking so much that they ended up waking up with the "Worst Man" in some cheesy motel with no idea how they got there ... or whose clothes they're wearing backwards.
"Whoa! Where am I? Who the hell are you? " screeched the Matron-of-Dishonor. "The last thing I remember is quarterbacking to catch the bouquet! Why are my false eyelashes stuck to my nipples!? "
by Scribester March 10, 2018
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