A chubber of a boy who was found on Tatooine by Qui-Gon Jinn. He believed everything he heard deep space pilots say, engaged in dangerous races in spacecraft he claimed to build, believed Jedi could never die, took strange men home with him, developed crushes on hot women twice his age, and was a slave- er- a person, and his name was Anakin.
After Qui-Gon used his force powers to cheat on a dice roll and then influenced the outcome of the race (how else could a kid who's never actually finished the race before WIN against the greatest racers in the galaxy?), Anakin was freed from his slavery.
He was then taken from his mother (who had given birth to him without having slept with any man... YEEEEAAH RIIIIIGHT) to be trained as a Jedi. But apparently, ten was too old to be trained, so he was then taken into the middle of a war on some garden planet that everyone made a big stink about. He accidentally destroyed a Trade Federation ship which none of the elite pilots could get close to doing. Lucky bastard (no really, he was lucky, and he was the the illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents).
He was then taken as the Padawan of Obi-Wan Kenobi (who only trained him because it was the last wish of his dying master Qui-Gon Jinn).
It is important to note in this part of the story that one of Anakin's abilities to age ten years in the same time it takes Obi-Wan to grow a beard.
Both of them do just that while everyone else stays exactly the same.
Anakin resumes his attempted romance with the beautiful Padme, but is turned down as he was when he was ten. But she still had his plastic trinket he made for her! There was still hope!
So Anakin took her from the well-guarded facilities of the Coruscant capital to a primitive country-side where she was virtually unprotected. He did this for her protection of course.
While in the countryside, Anakin's feelings grew for her as her clothes began to become more revealing and tighter with each scene.
Anakin proceeded to say tons of corny crap and talk about dictators, all of which somehow swayed Padme in her feelings, so she began to love him.
Then he kissed her, and got pissed at her about it.
She refused to engage in sexual relations with him and he began whining.
Both then proceed to get captured on a planet across the galaxy, where they profess their undying love to one another right before their execution.
Padme gets cut perfectly across the middle by a rat monster in a way that reveals her bellybutton and abs just right, which completes her skin-tight outfit's appeal, coming close to rivaling Leia's bikini in Return of the Jedi (the right monster should become a Hollywood fashion designer); and Anakin loses an arm.
Both are married.
Then Anakin turned to the dark side over one nightmare in which Padme dies. He did this in an attempt to save Padme, which is kind of ironic considering he later strangles her to near death (but don't worry, in a last minute revision, George Lucas decided that she should die of... lack of will to live? So Anakin's not to blame... apparently).
Anakin got fried after failing to beat his former master (which is kind of funny considering Anakin beat Count Dooku, who Obi-Wan had previously not coming close to even touching, in a minute as well as being the acclaimed 'most powerful Jedi').
I suppose it's cause Obi-Wan had the higher ground.
Anakin then became Darth Vader, and went around blowing up planets.
After Qui-Gon used his force powers to cheat on a dice roll and then influenced the outcome of the race (how else could a kid who's never actually finished the race before WIN against the greatest racers in the galaxy?), Anakin was freed from his slavery.
He was then taken from his mother (who had given birth to him without having slept with any man... YEEEEAAH RIIIIIGHT) to be trained as a Jedi. But apparently, ten was too old to be trained, so he was then taken into the middle of a war on some garden planet that everyone made a big stink about. He accidentally destroyed a Trade Federation ship which none of the elite pilots could get close to doing. Lucky bastard (no really, he was lucky, and he was the the illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents).
He was then taken as the Padawan of Obi-Wan Kenobi (who only trained him because it was the last wish of his dying master Qui-Gon Jinn).
It is important to note in this part of the story that one of Anakin's abilities to age ten years in the same time it takes Obi-Wan to grow a beard.
Both of them do just that while everyone else stays exactly the same.
Anakin resumes his attempted romance with the beautiful Padme, but is turned down as he was when he was ten. But she still had his plastic trinket he made for her! There was still hope!
So Anakin took her from the well-guarded facilities of the Coruscant capital to a primitive country-side where she was virtually unprotected. He did this for her protection of course.
While in the countryside, Anakin's feelings grew for her as her clothes began to become more revealing and tighter with each scene.
Anakin proceeded to say tons of corny crap and talk about dictators, all of which somehow swayed Padme in her feelings, so she began to love him.
Then he kissed her, and got pissed at her about it.
She refused to engage in sexual relations with him and he began whining.
Both then proceed to get captured on a planet across the galaxy, where they profess their undying love to one another right before their execution.
Padme gets cut perfectly across the middle by a rat monster in a way that reveals her bellybutton and abs just right, which completes her skin-tight outfit's appeal, coming close to rivaling Leia's bikini in Return of the Jedi (the right monster should become a Hollywood fashion designer); and Anakin loses an arm.
Both are married.
Then Anakin turned to the dark side over one nightmare in which Padme dies. He did this in an attempt to save Padme, which is kind of ironic considering he later strangles her to near death (but don't worry, in a last minute revision, George Lucas decided that she should die of... lack of will to live? So Anakin's not to blame... apparently).
Anakin got fried after failing to beat his former master (which is kind of funny considering Anakin beat Count Dooku, who Obi-Wan had previously not coming close to even touching, in a minute as well as being the acclaimed 'most powerful Jedi').
I suppose it's cause Obi-Wan had the higher ground.
Anakin then became Darth Vader, and went around blowing up planets.
"I want more, and I know I shouldn't! He's holding me back! No, he's not! He's a great mentor! Like a brother and a father! No, I hate him! He's jealous! He's evil! No, I love him!
I feel as if everything is going wrong!
My loyalty to the emperor and the council leave me feeling torn and conflicted!
Padme, kiss me, or I will feel neglected!"
Geez, man, will this guy ever quit whining?
Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader. Darth Vader is Luke's daddy.
Oh, and that's a spoiler.
I feel as if everything is going wrong!
My loyalty to the emperor and the council leave me feeling torn and conflicted!
Padme, kiss me, or I will feel neglected!"
Geez, man, will this guy ever quit whining?
Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader. Darth Vader is Luke's daddy.
Oh, and that's a spoiler.
by STJosh May 15, 2007
Get the Anakin Skywalkermug. 1) A major part of the carbon cycle that has helped properly regulate the temperatures of earth and the CO2 levels within earth's atmosphere for quite some time and won't just break because a few humans start driving SUVs and cooking on charcoal grills.
2) The confounded and/or irritated look on someone's face when you tell that "What color is a purple house?" "Purple" "What color is a blue house?" "Blue" "What color is a green house?" "Green" "WRONG! It's clear!" joke, because green houses are actually quite green, and they hate you for telling such a stupid joke.
Next time, stick with "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
2) The confounded and/or irritated look on someone's face when you tell that "What color is a purple house?" "Purple" "What color is a blue house?" "Blue" "What color is a green house?" "Green" "WRONG! It's clear!" joke, because green houses are actually quite green, and they hate you for telling such a stupid joke.
Next time, stick with "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
by STJosh May 15, 2007
Get the greenhouse effectmug. 1) When your girlfriend or mother makes you carry all of her shopping. Even if it's only three ounces, it's way too heavy.
2) When the events of the day make you feel suicidal, but you're too wiped out to put yourself out of your misery.
3) When your RPG character can no longer move due to having an absurd amount of stuff in his tiny backpack.
Note: Some RPGs are gracious enough to allow you to move slowly while over encumbered, but it's so slow you might as well be standing still.
2) When the events of the day make you feel suicidal, but you're too wiped out to put yourself out of your misery.
3) When your RPG character can no longer move due to having an absurd amount of stuff in his tiny backpack.
Note: Some RPGs are gracious enough to allow you to move slowly while over encumbered, but it's so slow you might as well be standing still.
"Crap, man, I'm over encumbered."
"Well, leave the iron hammer."
"No way! That item is vital to a later side-quest. I'm not coming all the way back to these caves to get it."
"Well, leave the shield. You can pick up another at Cloud Ruler Temple."
"Nah, I'll need that for getting out of this cave alive."
"Drop the gem then. It'll be just enough to put you under the weight limit."
"Man, this thing's worth 2,300 gold! I'm not just gonna drop it."
"Then quit playing Oblivion and go outside and get some fresh air."
"Well, leave the iron hammer."
"No way! That item is vital to a later side-quest. I'm not coming all the way back to these caves to get it."
"Well, leave the shield. You can pick up another at Cloud Ruler Temple."
"Nah, I'll need that for getting out of this cave alive."
"Drop the gem then. It'll be just enough to put you under the weight limit."
"Man, this thing's worth 2,300 gold! I'm not just gonna drop it."
"Then quit playing Oblivion and go outside and get some fresh air."
by STJosh May 01, 2007
Get the Over Encumberedmug. 1) A multi-gender term. Mostly used to describe womenish men, but very often defines women who attract quite a few preteen girls and are thus believed to be men.
2) Someone who looks gay, acts gay, sounds gay, and smells gay; but, for some bizarre reason, isn't.
3) An actor with no talent who gains roles based on either a previously very successful film (carried entirely by talented actors, and still nearly destroyed by him) or his massive preteen girl fanbase (an Orlando Bloom fangirl can be defined by her ugly face, forty half-naked posters of the "actor", Myspace dominated by various media centered on Orlando Bloom, squealing, grunting, and her knack for arguing in the defense of Orlando Bloom in all situations- especially his sexual preferences- and votes 'down' on all Urban Dictionary entries stating the truth about him, like this one.)
2) Someone who looks gay, acts gay, sounds gay, and smells gay; but, for some bizarre reason, isn't.
3) An actor with no talent who gains roles based on either a previously very successful film (carried entirely by talented actors, and still nearly destroyed by him) or his massive preteen girl fanbase (an Orlando Bloom fangirl can be defined by her ugly face, forty half-naked posters of the "actor", Myspace dominated by various media centered on Orlando Bloom, squealing, grunting, and her knack for arguing in the defense of Orlando Bloom in all situations- especially his sexual preferences- and votes 'down' on all Urban Dictionary entries stating the truth about him, like this one.)
1) Squeee! Orlando Bloom! She's so hot!
2) "Should we Orlando Bloom this film?" "Sure, Ang Lee, whatever you want."
2) "Should we Orlando Bloom this film?" "Sure, Ang Lee, whatever you want."
by STJosh April 14, 2007
Get the orlando bloommug. Either 6.5, 8.9, or 13.7 billion years ago (they keep rescheduling it), nothing blew itself up.
After the explosion, once the smoke had all faded and the dust had settled, a countless number of galaxies, systems, stars, and planets covered a presumed infinite amount of space.
What the hell?
After the explosion, once the smoke had all faded and the dust had settled, a countless number of galaxies, systems, stars, and planets covered a presumed infinite amount of space.
What the hell?
"Hey, we currently have no explanation for the beginning of the universe, man."
"Well, just pick from the existing ones."
"We could do that, but, uh, sir..."
"What?"
"They all involve the supernatural and/or some sort of deity(s)."
"Holy crap! Heaven (which I don't believe exists) forbid we actually believe there are greater forces in the world than ourselves (arrogant brats aren't we?)! Quick, make something up!"
"How about... I know! A massive explosion created everything! We'll call it the 'Big Bang'."
"Think anyone will buy that?"
"If we come up with a bunch of nonsensical yet complex equations to back it up, yes."
"Do it."
"Well, just pick from the existing ones."
"We could do that, but, uh, sir..."
"What?"
"They all involve the supernatural and/or some sort of deity(s)."
"Holy crap! Heaven (which I don't believe exists) forbid we actually believe there are greater forces in the world than ourselves (arrogant brats aren't we?)! Quick, make something up!"
"How about... I know! A massive explosion created everything! We'll call it the 'Big Bang'."
"Think anyone will buy that?"
"If we come up with a bunch of nonsensical yet complex equations to back it up, yes."
"Do it."
by STJosh May 01, 2007
Get the Big Bangmug. People who would have you believe that global temperatures have risen thirty degrees fahrenheit in the last eighty years, that their studies aren't just selective of which areas of the earth they monitor temperatures for, that perturbations in the earth's rotation have nothing to do with the occasional extreme weather conditions, that it's not true that the earth has experienced far warmer conditions centuries ago than it is now, that in only a few generations man has nearly destroyed a planet that has run itself just fine for a very long time, that all people who work for fossil fuel companies are incredibly evil demons, and that any scientists who are actually qualified to speak on this and don't agree with them are morons and are only a "few" simple-minded people, despite them winning international science awards and having more college degrees than you can imagine.
And they would have you believe all of this at the same time that their partner politicians can use such in their political agendas.
They'd also you rather not mention how much money will be going their way to "stop global warming".
They require no facts to back up their claims, as they can invent them at will. And don't you dare question these facts! You've never tested carbon samples collected from random ice-burgs in Antarctica!
In simpler terms (which they are incapable of using, because they rely heavily on printing out long reports that these idiots in Washington DC can't understand, and therefore vote 'yes' on the policies without even realizing half the facts in the report are assumptions and the other half are proven wrong), a massive collective of idiots.
And they would have you believe all of this at the same time that their partner politicians can use such in their political agendas.
They'd also you rather not mention how much money will be going their way to "stop global warming".
They require no facts to back up their claims, as they can invent them at will. And don't you dare question these facts! You've never tested carbon samples collected from random ice-burgs in Antarctica!
In simpler terms (which they are incapable of using, because they rely heavily on printing out long reports that these idiots in Washington DC can't understand, and therefore vote 'yes' on the policies without even realizing half the facts in the report are assumptions and the other half are proven wrong), a massive collective of idiots.
"Man, my head is not a pickle!"
"The IPCC says it is, and you're a horribly simple-minded idiot for not agreeing. Now go and vote for the politicians they endorse!"
"The IPCC says it is, and you're a horribly simple-minded idiot for not agreeing. Now go and vote for the politicians they endorse!"
by STJosh June 02, 2007
Get the IPCCmug. A scientist infamous for being the most arrogant and biased intellectual in the world and largely for his devoted army of unintelligent fanboys, who will most likely vote down on this entry and all others that speak poorly of.
Richard Dawkins: "The crusades are a perfect example of how religion hurts the world."
Child: "But nearly all the crusaders hadn't even read the Bible. They were mostly in it to gain wealth, led by power-hungry popes who twisted religion for their advantage. They would've used other means to get people to do their bidding if religion didn't exist."
Richard Dawkins: "Nonsense. Atheists have never hurt anyone."
Child: "Oh. You must be forgetting Joseph Stalin and Mao Zedong, two of the most infamous mass-murders and oppressive dictators in history. Don't worry, you've just got a less evolved mind."
Richard Dawkins: "But- but- The World Trade Centers! That happened because of religious teachings!"
Child: "Wow. One sour apple. One group. Let's just throw the baby out with the bath water. If one religion has malicious teachings, all religions must be evil. Riiiight..."
Richard Dawkins is a perfect example of why the dark ages came about. Arrogant and selfish men who made stuff up to get millions to do their bidding, while everyone else suffers (except rather than religion, he calls it "survival of the fittest").
Fortunately, Richard Dawkins is too fixed on destroying religion with twisted and made up facts to do anything else. Otherwise he'd be busy getting slavery reinstated, executing the disabled, and earning an honest living.
Child: "But nearly all the crusaders hadn't even read the Bible. They were mostly in it to gain wealth, led by power-hungry popes who twisted religion for their advantage. They would've used other means to get people to do their bidding if religion didn't exist."
Richard Dawkins: "Nonsense. Atheists have never hurt anyone."
Child: "Oh. You must be forgetting Joseph Stalin and Mao Zedong, two of the most infamous mass-murders and oppressive dictators in history. Don't worry, you've just got a less evolved mind."
Richard Dawkins: "But- but- The World Trade Centers! That happened because of religious teachings!"
Child: "Wow. One sour apple. One group. Let's just throw the baby out with the bath water. If one religion has malicious teachings, all religions must be evil. Riiiight..."
Richard Dawkins is a perfect example of why the dark ages came about. Arrogant and selfish men who made stuff up to get millions to do their bidding, while everyone else suffers (except rather than religion, he calls it "survival of the fittest").
Fortunately, Richard Dawkins is too fixed on destroying religion with twisted and made up facts to do anything else. Otherwise he'd be busy getting slavery reinstated, executing the disabled, and earning an honest living.
by STJosh October 11, 2007
Get the Richard Dawkinsmug.