An ex-boyfriend archetype defined by the thrill of emotional whiplash and the fine art of saying one thing while doing another. Often spotted keeping his phone guarded like a national secret, he’s the kind of guy who’ll make you question if his favourite words are “its complicated” or just “my mom wouldn't approve.”
Fahad’s hobbies include: showing up at 2 a.m. for “quality time” only when he’s bored, comparing you to the latest instagram influencer (namely Madison Beer), and leaving you feeling like you need to consult a mirror. He’s got a back pocket full of excuses for why he “can’t commit” yet, a line or two about how “it’s hard to make things work,” and a habit of disappearing to avoid having any in-person conversations. The last thing he offered willingly? A backhanded compliment.
Common Symptoms of Fahad-Exposure:
Lowered phone privileges
Late-night “hey” texts
A sudden appreciation for your reflection on closure, but no commitment to actually giving it
Comparing you to literally anyone in a way that’ll make you cringe
In conclusion: Save yourself the 3 a.m. overthinking, and leave the Fahad's to keep their commitment issues safely tucked behind their screen locks.
Fahad’s hobbies include: showing up at 2 a.m. for “quality time” only when he’s bored, comparing you to the latest instagram influencer (namely Madison Beer), and leaving you feeling like you need to consult a mirror. He’s got a back pocket full of excuses for why he “can’t commit” yet, a line or two about how “it’s hard to make things work,” and a habit of disappearing to avoid having any in-person conversations. The last thing he offered willingly? A backhanded compliment.
Common Symptoms of Fahad-Exposure:
Lowered phone privileges
Late-night “hey” texts
A sudden appreciation for your reflection on closure, but no commitment to actually giving it
Comparing you to literally anyone in a way that’ll make you cringe
In conclusion: Save yourself the 3 a.m. overthinking, and leave the Fahad's to keep their commitment issues safely tucked behind their screen locks.
“Oh, he ditched the talk again? Sounds like you’ve been Fahad-ed. Remember, he’s the kind of guy who’ll tell you he issues you but can’t manage an ‘I love you’ back.”
by Roaches123 October 31, 2024
Fahad (noun): A rare breed of ex-boyfriend whose ego is only rivaled by his ability to keep you guessing. Known for walking around like he’s descended from royalty just because he’s Saudi, Fahad will throw out mixed signals and expect you to chase them like they’re breadcrumbs leading to a castle. Spoiler: they’re not. A true connoisseur of mixed signals, Fahad is the guy who acts like he’s auditioning for a soap opera where every episode ends with “What are we, really?” Known for blowing hot and cold, he can go from “i miss you so much” to “I need space” faster than he can type “wyd” at 1 a.m.
Fahad’s Signature Moves:
The “Saudi Prince” Effect: Assumes he’s a prize because he’s from the Kingdom and drops hints like, “Well, my mom wouldn’t approve” as if that’s your cue to bow out in awe.
The Yo-Yo of Emotion: Where he pulls you in just close enough to say something sweet, then vanishes like he’s on a CIA mission
Mixed Signal Maestro: One minute, it’s “You mean a lot to me” and the next it’s “I don’t know what I want,” leaving you wondering if he wants a relationship or just someone to boost his already overinflated ego.
The Exclusive Phone Lockdown: Guards his phone like it’s the crown jewels, while giving you the side-eye if you even glance at the screen.
Fahad’s Signature Moves:
The “Saudi Prince” Effect: Assumes he’s a prize because he’s from the Kingdom and drops hints like, “Well, my mom wouldn’t approve” as if that’s your cue to bow out in awe.
The Yo-Yo of Emotion: Where he pulls you in just close enough to say something sweet, then vanishes like he’s on a CIA mission
Mixed Signal Maestro: One minute, it’s “You mean a lot to me” and the next it’s “I don’t know what I want,” leaving you wondering if he wants a relationship or just someone to boost his already overinflated ego.
The Exclusive Phone Lockdown: Guards his phone like it’s the crown jewels, while giving you the side-eye if you even glance at the screen.
“He sent me a ‘Miss u’ text, followed by a lecture on why he’s too good for anyone who’s not Saudi. I guess I’m supposed to be grateful?”
“He told me he was falling for me… then asked for ‘space to think.’ Classic Fahad! Next think I know, hes texting ‘Miss u’ when he’s bored.”
“He told me he was falling for me… then asked for ‘space to think.’ Classic Fahad! Next think I know, hes texting ‘Miss u’ when he’s bored.”
by Roaches123 October 31, 2024
3. The “Boundaries Don’t Exist” Ashfaq
Ashfaq has a way of bulldozing your personal boundaries, interpreting them as rejection or as signs that you don’t care. He doesn’t take it well when you say “no,” and instead, he’ll guilt you or imply that your boundaries mean you don’t value him. Whether it’s controlling who you hang out with or dismissing your need for alone time, he seems to expect you to put him first no matter what.
Special Move: The “So I’m Not Important?” Guilt Trip – He’ll turn any request for space or independence into a sign that you don’t care, forcing you to either compromise your boundaries or deal with his resentment.*
Symptoms of Exposure:
Feeling suffocated, like you can’t say “no” without consequences
Noticing you’re avoiding time with friends to keep the peace
Guilt for even considering setting boundaries
Ashfaq has a way of bulldozing your personal boundaries, interpreting them as rejection or as signs that you don’t care. He doesn’t take it well when you say “no,” and instead, he’ll guilt you or imply that your boundaries mean you don’t value him. Whether it’s controlling who you hang out with or dismissing your need for alone time, he seems to expect you to put him first no matter what.
Special Move: The “So I’m Not Important?” Guilt Trip – He’ll turn any request for space or independence into a sign that you don’t care, forcing you to either compromise your boundaries or deal with his resentment.*
Symptoms of Exposure:
Feeling suffocated, like you can’t say “no” without consequences
Noticing you’re avoiding time with friends to keep the peace
Guilt for even considering setting boundaries
You: “I really need some time to focus on school.”
Ashfaq: “Right, because your friends and school are more important than I am. Got it.”
Ashfaq: “Right, because your friends and school are more important than I am. Got it.”
by Roaches123 October 31, 2024
1. The “My Way or the Highway” Ashfaq
Ashfaq has a strict approach to how he thinks relationships should work. He’s quick to tell you how things “should” be and gets frustrated when your needs don’t match his own. From your friends to your alone time, everything seems to feel like a threat to him unless it revolves around him. He tries to frame his view as “caring,” but ultimately, it feels like he’s the only one who gets to set the terms.
Special Move: The “You're Selfish” Card – Whenever you set a boundary or put yourself first, he’ll hit you with accusations of being “self-centered” or “entitled,” making you question whether you’re the problem for wanting basic respect.*
Symptoms of Exposure:
Feeling like you’re never doing “enough”
Constantly re-evaluating if your needs are “too much”
Suppressing parts of yourself to avoid conflict
Ashfaq has a strict approach to how he thinks relationships should work. He’s quick to tell you how things “should” be and gets frustrated when your needs don’t match his own. From your friends to your alone time, everything seems to feel like a threat to him unless it revolves around him. He tries to frame his view as “caring,” but ultimately, it feels like he’s the only one who gets to set the terms.
Special Move: The “You're Selfish” Card – Whenever you set a boundary or put yourself first, he’ll hit you with accusations of being “self-centered” or “entitled,” making you question whether you’re the problem for wanting basic respect.*
Symptoms of Exposure:
Feeling like you’re never doing “enough”
Constantly re-evaluating if your needs are “too much”
Suppressing parts of yourself to avoid conflict
You: “I really need some time with my friends.”
Ashfaq: “So I’m just supposed to sit here while you go live your life without me? You always put yourself first.”
Ashfaq: “So I’m just supposed to sit here while you go live your life without me? You always put yourself first.”
by Roaches123 October 31, 2024
The “Emotionally High-Stakes” Ashfaq
Every small issue seems to become a relationship referendum. Ashfaq can’t seem to handle everyday conflicts without threatening the whole relationship. He’ll pull you in close, promising he’ll change or make things better, only to turn around and get angry when things don’t go his way. Even small disagreements turn into big deals, making it feel like the relationship is on the line every time.
Special Move: The Over-the-Top “I’m Done” Declaration – In any argument, he’s ready to throw in the towel to get you to back down, only to come back later as though nothing happened.*
Symptoms of Exposure:
Constant anxiety that any small thing will lead to a breakup
Feeling emotionally drained, like you’re constantly on edge
Second-guessing yourself to avoid setting him off
Every small issue seems to become a relationship referendum. Ashfaq can’t seem to handle everyday conflicts without threatening the whole relationship. He’ll pull you in close, promising he’ll change or make things better, only to turn around and get angry when things don’t go his way. Even small disagreements turn into big deals, making it feel like the relationship is on the line every time.
Special Move: The Over-the-Top “I’m Done” Declaration – In any argument, he’s ready to throw in the towel to get you to back down, only to come back later as though nothing happened.*
Symptoms of Exposure:
Constant anxiety that any small thing will lead to a breakup
Feeling emotionally drained, like you’re constantly on edge
Second-guessing yourself to avoid setting him off
You: “I just want a bit more space sometimes.”
Ashfaq: “You know what, fine. I don’t even care anymore if this is how you feel.”
Ashfaq: “You know what, fine. I don’t even care anymore if this is how you feel.”
by Roaches123 October 31, 2024