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Real Gangsta in da House's definitions

Jazz

Please click on all the links you find as they will be helpful in your quest for music.

I've read some of the definitions here and some idiots have the cheek to call this filth 'music' and even bigger idiots have said that gangsta rap ISN'T the greatest form of music ever created (I know true music fans, some fools really do think like this.) All 3 of the jazz 'songs' I have heard it doesn't even have any lyrics? How can that poor excuse for music if you can't hear the artist tell a beautiful story from the street about the bitch he banged last night?

My teacher used to like jazz and that asshole made me learn stuff so I know jazz is shit. I work in McDonalds now so that I never have to worry about learning or thinking ever again. Jazz 'music' has NO beat and some of it isn't even made by machines that make a constant, mind numbing 'bip bop' for real music listeners to get down to.

Rap was invented by my fellow brothers so if you prefer any other type of music other than rap that means you're a racist white cracker that needs to be burned like the bird shit you are!

Have you noticed that they never play jazz on MTV? That is because MTV only plays the top 40 which means they only play good music. Only old people that were alive when we evolved from snakes listen to this dribble because they are ashamed that good music like rap didn't exist in the dinosaurious ages.

This is how every jazz song sounds like "KEEP ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'" That isn't music! That is crap! Go get some Ja Rule you old pensioners.
Go listen to your crappy Jazz, Blues or whatever you call it if you wish to remain a fool. Rap is the only true music with soul because it has lyrics that speak from the heart and tell us a tale. ('Soul' 'music' should be called Soul-less music. ZING!)
by Real Gangsta in da House July 29, 2005
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Death Metal

"RRRAWWWWWRRRRGGGGGG!KILL!RAAAWWWWRRRRGGGG"
Scream that above line 85 times in a gruntish voice while smacking your fists randomly against the desk. Congratulations. You have now heard every Death Metal song in existence. If you are a filthy, self loathing goths who doesn't wear sports gear, only then will you 'pretend' to like this attempt at poetry. Even the so called 'fans' don't like this. They only pretend they do so they can be different but all goths are the same, they all wear makeup (Even the men which means they must be beaten up for not being heterosexual like god intended!)

Slipknot, Korn and Marilyn Manson are three of the heaviest Death Metal bands. I heard them once and my ears nearly exploded. The noise in the background are created by 'guitars' and 'drums'. There isn't a single DJ mixing a beat or any lyrics about banging ya ho. It's all "DIE, DIE DIE, I HATE MYSELF! I am goth, grrr, I worship Satan and hate God even though he created me just like my parents who I also hate." You don't hear Eminem whining like that do you?

Rock and Metal are a wasteland of yobs pulling strings on wooden blocks and bashing trashcans in a vain attempt to create art. Anyone can become a vulgar rockstar. Chingy is too good for instruments and instead used his beautiful flow to tell a story from the streets. Chingy doesn't scream because he isn't angry even though he lived on the streets and those rich, white lads just didn't get their $500 allowance one week because they crashed their dad's BMW.

My friend is an idiot, he thinks bands exist outside of MTV yet MTV plays all the music variety in the world so I know he is a liar and I hit him for being a goth. I hate goths. All goth music sucks and anyone that listens to it must die! I'll stick with Nelly, 50 cent and Bauhaus instead of your screaming, self loathing, hatefilled, racist, homophobic, faggot, goth crap.
The only good heavy metal band is Limp Bizkit. Death Metal like Slipknot sucks because it isn't rap. I bet you idiots like classical too like all the other goth idiots at my school. I bet you're going to go to...ha ha...college *smirk* for even more education. I'm nearly out of school! I don't want more education! I'm getting a job at McDonalds. I know that has nothing to do with defining Death Metal but most people here don't define the term and just argue and being a rap fan I do what is cool because I know what is 'in' and goth music is so 'out'.
by Real Gangsta in da House July 29, 2005
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Black Album

The name that many artists and bands have decided to name their album. Some of the artists to have given one of their albums this title are:
Jay-Z
Prince
The Damned
Boyd Rice
Metallica fans also refer to their self entitled album as the Black Album due to its nameless cover and to symbolise the beginning of the end.

Ira Peel hasn't looked at the Music Fan Reaction List. A Metallica fan wouldn't cry because someone insulted their favourite album with such a poor insult.

BTW The Metallica album wasn't called 'The Black Album' so Jay-Z didn't steal it. You're thinking of his beats.

I am using this definition to hurl abuse at everyone else that has posted whether than describe the term. I am just like everyone else on this site. I'm cool for once unlike school!
Punk: Will scream and violently attack everything nearby except people.
Rap: If act tough and attempt to defend their music with crap like 'Yo is just jealous as ya not gangsta lie us nigga'
Metal: Will violently assualt the blastfermor.
Classical: Will state you as being an uncultured yob.
Emo: Will run home and cry about it in their mother's arms.
Goth: Will run home and cut themselves
Hippie: Who cares? It's all cool man.
by Real Gangsta in da House July 31, 2005
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Stockport

A place in England that doesn't contain enough townies. There are only 500,000 neds in Stockport yet I think I saw a grunger once. What if they round themselves up and attempt to outnumber us. I am a chav and without at least 20 townies surrounding me constantly I get scared.

Stockport is full of places fo' us Gs to hang 5 innit such as the cinema to see some light entertainment such as the latest xXx movie. There are benches outside of the local 5 star resturant McDonalds where one can spit as much as he chooses. In fact, there are three McDs. Truely a luxurius choice of a home town and a highly cultured society. Such as the local musical art theater, HMV, that plays exquisite rap classics. Beautiful paintings can be around the many monuments in which artists express themselves with spraypaint with such poetry as "I fucked Jen at this spot".

Has one of the only town centres smart enough not to ban hoodies (After all, they would lose ALL their customers, literally.)
Stockport is a high class, cultured society so we try not to let any riff-raff like you punks or working class jazz fags get in our way.
by Real Gangsta in da House July 31, 2005
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Christian Death Metal

A genre of music that combines the Death Metal sound and theme with Christian beliefs and morals. Their aim is to praise Jesus Christ and the Lord. However, the mixture of these two themes often get mixed up and as a result end up offending the very people they are trying to renew the faith of.

One of the leading bands from this genre, Mutilating God's Angels, often offend the priests they want to entertain. An example of this is "Fatal Whipping of that Jesus Cunt" and "Watch that Fucker on the Cross die sloowwwllyy".

All in all, the only flaw on this genre is that are at least trying to praise god (They say this in all their interviews) and any music that mentions god or Jesus in any way that isn’t meant to be incredibly blasphemous should not be heard by impressionable minds in case they become Christian and burn down our science labs. Real music isn’t about musical ability or expressing feeling or a message. Music is what you listen to while you’re smashing someone’s face with a coke bottle. Death to God!
Lyrics to God's Messenagers 'Baby Ripped from a Virgin's Cunt'
"The fucking bitch pushed that kid from her cunt, and her blood and her guts came out with him too, Jesus Christ was born that day, To lead us all a different way, by cutting up the sinners and eating thier flesh. Jesus hates you! Jesus hates you!"

Lyrics to Bloody Scriptures 'Jesus Speaks'
"“I will eat your children’s insides and use their skin to cover my lair I have created from virgin bones / I'll rape your daughter and rip out their eyes and mutilate you worthless drones."
by Real Gangsta in da House August 4, 2005
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Goth Poser

Someone who is too much of a loser to be a loser so he has to pretend hto be a loser. Acutally spelt Goth Poseur
"I weaar all black and worship Satan! Fear me because I listen to Marilyn Manson and that makes me hardcore. I'm going to sit in a dark corner and cry about how bad my life is even though my daddy is rich because I'm hardcore."
by Real Gangsta in da House August 4, 2005
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Black Apocalypse

The greatest Gangsta Metal Band on Earth! Formed in 1991 by ex-rappers who found rap to be getting stale. Although I disagree, they formed the only good subgenre of metal which lyrics people can relate to instead of "I love Satan, he makes me hard, RAAWWWRRRGGG"

"Niggaz Neva Die" is da best song eva! Forget Stairway to Heaven or any of that white boy shit. It has da best guitar solo and da phatest drum work eva and da lyrics are beautiful.

"We are real, you whities are fake like your women's titties / I see white kids dressing like us like day dealt wit' da shitty and every bitty ditty wit' da itty bitty pity / Day can't dress black / dey don't know black / dey ain't not dealt wit' da persacution like us / Us black folk our proud of our hertiage and we don't act white / Day think they know street but have never even seen a fight."

Da line up hasn't changed since it's creation because all these brothas are like family.

Line-Up
Ballin' Freestyle - Vocals
4:MM:0 Loaded - Guitar
Twistin' Psycho 666 - Drums
Crush - Bassist
"Da government wants me to act white / Because acting black is offensive / I cant change 'ho I be / You be you, I'll be me.
by Real Gangsta in da House August 4, 2005
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