Ralph's definitions

zmoz

Web weaver of tall tales. One who claims to be an expert in power generation, web hosting and XJ fuel economy.

See also: turd dillhole

Never trust your website to zmoz.

by Ralph December 29, 2004

high school

A miserable prison for young people whose lives are usually hard enough as it is. Often there's a poor kid who hasn't eaten in four days and doesn't have electricity. He sits and waits for lunch, where he gets to eat a piece of month-old bread and drink half a glass of concentrated orange juice. That is, unless someone steals it and pours it on his head. Later, he gets his clothes stolen in the locker room and a spray of deodourant in his eyeballs. Lastly he's taunted by girls who have so little ego that they mock the poor kid, just for kicks. Then he trudges home carrying a 40 pound backpack because someone forgot to pick him up.

Hey Ralph; where ya off to?
High...sch..the place that I go in the morning..won't you please shoot me now?

by Ralph January 12, 2005

Pessimist

A person who, if they refrain from suicide, will one day be happy.

A: It's freezing. My heater's broken, and it's ten below zero. I cut my arm on a rusty fence, and my idiot neighbour pissed on my house today. I hate this goddamn planet!

B: Hey, you like apple pie?

A: Shut the...well yeah I actually I do.

B: Great, let's go. No, put your wallet down; I've got it covered.

by Ralph January 13, 2005

seminoles

what FSU uses for their mascot. Pretty much is a reflection of the their stupidity and lower class because infact the seminoles were a mut tribe... don't think this is the truth... look it up, they actaully teach you this in upper end universities. Seminoles were in fact a group of indians, some from over here and there, as well as almost 60%runaway slaves... interesting! makes you think... oh wait no thinking isnt an option at FSU

that is one sketchy person, must be a seminole!

by ralph July 15, 2006

Squirrel

This is a term for a light person who can drink as much if not more than you.

Eric Ward is a squirril. He drank his body weight in beer tonite.

by Ralph February 12, 2005

Kook

Anyone with an I.Q. above 100 who refuses to mentally lobotomize themself and accept the status quo and the rules set down by an imaginary authority.

"Oh, there goes Dan, saying we shouldn't cut out our citizens' livers and throw them in the fire. He's a kook." -What ancient Mayans may have considered to be a kook.

by Ralph February 14, 2005

Fieldston

1.n-the act of sticking a rock in your anus and farting it out
2.v-to give a man a blow job when they are asleep

1.I got $100 for giving myself a fieldston
2.Joe gave Tim a fieldston

by Ralph May 13, 2005