RATTnroll's definitions

Hashtag Mom

A suburban mom who spends 99% of her life on instagram hash tagging the shit out of every fucking thing on her posts, singlehandedly responsible for making hashtags not cool anymore. 100% of a hashtag mom's hashtags actually don't link to a single other thing. Before he died, Stephen Hawking may have predicted that the demise of instagram would come as a result of hashtag moms annoying the fuck out of all the other users. #suburbanmom #whohashtagseverything #inherinstagramposts #tryingtobecool #notcoolitsannoying #annoyingaf #idontgiveashitaboutyourkidshalloweenparty

Dave: OMG what the fuck is with Kayla, she posted on instagram about going to the pumpkin patch with her kids preschool class and she put about 5 lines of hashtags on it. How annoying!
Anthony Weiner: What an annoying hashtag mom. I'm gonna unfollow her as soon as I finish posting these dick pics.

by RATTnroll August 21, 2019

wannamilf

A woman who thinks she is a lot hotter than she actually is and relishes in the (perceived) attention. Constantly scans the environment for guys who she thinks are checking her out (but really aren't). She sneers and glares at them in disapproval, when in reality she basks in the attention she thinks she is getting (but really isn't). Annoying AF. Usually middle-aged women age 30-40's, generally not hideous looking but not that hot. Can often be seen at fitness clubs primping themselves in the mirror and scanning the environment to see who she thinks is checking them out - but really isn't.

"Dude, that wannamilf over there thinks you're checking her out. She looks pissed but keeps looking back at you."
"I wasn't looking at her, I was just looking around for the bathroom - I gotta piss"

by RATTnroll September 11, 2018

Swerpose

When one swerves accidentally and tries to make the accidental swerve look purposeful to avoid detection for being a bad driver, stoopid, or drunk. A swerpose starts as a little drifting to one side or another, usually on the highway. The driver, realizing that he or she is swerving and looks drunk or high, just goes ahead and changes lanes trying to make it look purposeful, when it really isn't.

Beto O'Rourke, to cop at DUI checkpoint: "I swear officer I just had a snapple and was changing lanes to avoid the oncoming milk truck."
Cop: "you are drunk as shit, that was a swerpose, and there is no milk truck. Got any donuts?"
Ted Cruz, flying by at 110 mph: "I got your donut, it's around my dick mothafucka!"
Cop: "Not again!"

by RATTnroll December 21, 2018

Barcode Posting Dipshit

A stupid fucker who brags on social media by posting pics of tickets to games, events, or shows that he/she is going to. This fool posts the tickets with the barcodes clearly visible in the pic, and then acts surprised when he/she shows up at the entrance to the event and finds that somebody copied the barcode from his post and used it to get in while he/she languishes outside.

"Look at this instagram pic - Joe is going to the Steelers game tonight, he posted a pic of his tickets. Stupid Barcode Posting Dipshit! Some hacker will be in his seat!"

by RATTnroll September 11, 2018

Previewnesia

The state of forgetting what movie you actually came to watch due to the excessive advertisements, trailers, previews, messages to silence one's cell phone, etc. that occur between the advertised start time of a movie and the time the feature begins. Usually, the state of Previewnesia is experienced right as the feature is (finally!) about to begin and you realize you can't remember what movie you are about to see.

Jim (to his date, Elaine): "Hey babe, do you remember what movie we are about to see? I've got previewnesia"
Elaine: "No I've got previewnesia too, I can't remember. Maybe it's Goonies 2 or Avengers 4?"

by RATTnroll January 18, 2015

Quarantainment

Mediocre lowbrow crap that helps you escape boredom and seems more entertaining than it really is because you’re in quarantine due to COVID-19.

Tiger King? Now that’s quality quarantainment!

by RATTnroll May 15, 2020

Streamspoiling

An act committed by those viewing a sporting event live or on broadcast TV, whereby texts or tweets announce key events (such as scores, turnovers, or big defensive plays) before they happen on live streaming (because streaming is several seconds delayed behind real time or broadcast TV). Thus our broadcast TV friends ruin the sports viewing experience for those of us online by giving away the outcomes before we see them happen.

(Bob, watching the game on his phone): It's 3rd and goal from the 17. Crowd is going wild...
(Jim, via twitter): TOUCHDOWN!!!
(Bob): Aw god damn it, Jim is watching this on TV and streamspoiling this shit for me....

by RATTnroll November 16, 2019