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Definitions by Quelmo Rodriguez

Gripping 

The process of finding eroticism in the more innocent every-day relationship intimacies of others, for example couples kissing or holding hands or sharing a joke.

Specifically, Gripping is the action of masturbating over these moments. The person is henceforth known as a 'Gripper'.

Incidents of Gripping increase during particularly prolonged barren spells, without sexual contract from another human being.

This term 'Gripper' is particularly offensive to Worcestershire-based woodwork teachers.
Pam and Trevor's wedding was tarnished by Teddy "Gripping" thoroughout the service.

Oi - wanker!.... Who called me Gripper!?
Gripping by Quelmo Rodriguez June 1, 2011
The sudden, unexpected urge to poo after taking the first few drags of a cigarette.
(Sparks up) "ooo, bumrush!"
Bumrush by Quelmo Rodriguez May 21, 2011
A young European (mostly Dutch) party-animal.

Usually between the ages of 16-23. Will be clearly distinguishable wearing loud Hawaiian shorts, chequered Vans sneakers, a slanted Marvel-Action-Comic-design cap and florescent Ray-Ban’s.

Often spotted boarding European Interail trains with bad hangovers, or being thrown out of cheap hostels in the early hours.

Constantly seeking out a party; unafraid to approach you as a complete stranger and enquire – “Hey, where-zu paurty?!”

Will drink and/or consume narcotics beyond the point of reason.
joyboy
Joyboy by Quelmo Rodriguez July 9, 2010

Black Coffee with Milk

Said by one, in recognition of a contradictory, absurd or nonsensical statement made by another.

Example-

"I've abandoned free market principles to save the free market system." George W. Bush, (Washington, D.C., Dec. 16, 2008)

Commentator – “... and he’ll have a black coffee, with milk!”

Originated in a Sainsbury's coffee shop in Weston-Super-Mare, circa 2010, whilst observing a stupid, bald Brummie’s beverage order.

Sex Skills 

To indicate a stark change from an ordinary kick-a-about to swaggering showboating, resulting from the unexpected presence of female spectators during a game of football.

Involves teenage boys between the ages of 12-18 going from a jovial game of heads and volleys to Cruyff turns, Beckham-esque curling free kicks, aggressive diving headers, Roy Keane/Alf-Inge Haaland slide tackling, completely unnecessary keepie-uppie and never passing the ball - in a vain attempt to attract the female spectator.

Originated in Lincolnshire circa 2000.

Ben - "We were having a decent game and then the Year Ten girls arrived..."

Beeda - "...so Macca turned to sex skills?"
Sex Skills by Quelmo Rodriguez June 28, 2010
The lower part of a females back, displayed when wearing a crop-top.

The area of the body used to locate a tramp-stamp.

Bob - "She's a nice sort!"
Matt - "Cracking Slab!"
Slab
Slab by Quelmo Rodriguez June 28, 2010
To indicate a fart that unexpectedly deviates into a poo.

Taken from cricketing terminology, referencing a delivery which unpredictably bounces higher than expected at the last minute, often striking the batsmen in the ribs or head.

Often requires the decommissioning and disposal of underwear after the event. Originated on a Nation Express coach, Junction 34 - Lancaster.
mate, i'm in a mess! That fart got big on me
Got Big by Quelmo Rodriguez June 19, 2010