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QuacksO's definitions

robbin' the 'hood

What da famed Earl-of-Huntingdon-turned-outlaw character partially stopped da evil Prince John and Sheriff of Nottingham from doing
When King Richard returned from da Crusades, he told da Band Of Merry Men dat although he didn't entirely approve of their methods of counteracting government corruption, he knew dat his own stuffy "high-toned, high-society" colleagues had been "robbin' the 'hood" themselves --- and to a much greater degree than said rebels had done, and with merely self-serving intent --- and so he granted each and every one of said honorable bandits a free and complete pardon.
by QuacksO March 5, 2024
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spearitual beliefs

What natives in da jungle and King Arthur's Knights of da Round Table follow when they wield their lances and javelins.
Da term "spearitual beliefs" could also refer to da guiding principles followed by pacifists, in dat their religions do not support da use of sharp-headed poles (or any other weaponry, in fact) in combat.
by QuacksO April 4, 2024
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intermittimacy

Erratically-spaced occurrences of "getting it on".
If you have a pleasant respectful attitude and remain reasonably healthy and physically fit as you progress through middle age, a few ladies may still be "willing", but you will likely find fewer accommodating heifers than you might have scored during your "wild 'n' virile" younger days, and so you'll likely hafta resign yourself to intermittimacy.
by QuacksO June 8, 2019
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Do not attempt

How Vonage captions their "people do stupid things" TV ads to cover their a**es legally.
Note: This blonde lady actually DID know better than to enter the water to play with the "dolphins", and fake shark-fins were used in the production of this advertisement. Do not attempt in real life.
by QuacksO November 2, 2018
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slimulator

A dishonestly-designed/calibrated device which gives a dieting/exercising person da illusion dat he's lost weight, when in fact he's just as chubby/heavy as before.
One of da simplest slimulators is a bathroom scale dat's altered to register a lower weight than is actually being applied to its platform; another is a vertically-concave mirror dat makes anyone reflected in it appear less wide.
by QuacksO October 31, 2022
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carrugated

How yer automobile's hood and front fenders end up after an unfortunate head-on encounter wif a stone wall.
Back in da "good ol' days" when auto-bodies were real solid metal, if you clunked into something at fairly low speed, da bumper would just bounce off with little damage, and you could just back up and keep on a-truckin'. Nowadays, though, wif all da fancy-schamncy DOT-mandated "crumple zones" on vehicles, your whole front end gets totally carrugated even after just a minor collision, and then you gotta either buy a whole 'nother vehicle or spend thousands of dollars to get everything straightened out again!
by QuacksO September 19, 2019
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Walternative

A news-source other than Mr. Cronkite.
Jeff Dunham's show really needs an old grouchy fart as a main feature of da program; it just wouldn't be da same if he used any Walternative puppets.
by QuacksO April 6, 2021
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