Definitions by QuacksO
leg-hug
(1) Where you use yer legs to wrap around someone's waist in an affectionate cuddle; this is often done from behind, where you both are sitting on the floor. Extra points if you're barefoot at the time, since this not only eliminates the danger of your accidentally bruising your friend with hard shoe-soles, but it also allows him to tenderly fondle your toes in response to your loving gesture.
(2) Where you drape someone's legs over your shoulders and then wrap yer raised arms savoringly around his calves/thighs. This mutually-pleasurable action is often administered as a thank-you gesture to the person for his cuddling with you, letting you massage his feet/legs, etc.
(2) Where you drape someone's legs over your shoulders and then wrap yer raised arms savoringly around his calves/thighs. This mutually-pleasurable action is often administered as a thank-you gesture to the person for his cuddling with you, letting you massage his feet/legs, etc.
mezzzzage
Refers to a humorous voice-mail that you leave for a tolerant-natured friend who knows you very well, and thus is familiar with your complaining about feeling exhausted a lot of the time; you simply make long drawn-out snoring sounds when prompted to record your message. It painlessly informs the person that you are not really up to a whole lot of physical effort at the moment, but that he is welcome to try you back later to ask again about your possibly assisting him.
Answering machine message left by a physically-infirm friend who had previously left you a message requesting help with a few household tasks: Hey Snorey --- I got your mezzzzage; sorry I missed yer call. I see that you're not home at the moment, either; guess we're kinda playin' telephone-tag here. Nuthin' earth-shakin' --- just wanted to humbly ask if you could please lend me a hand with a little dusting and yardwork, and see if maybe you could use some of your scrap lumber to build me a small set of steps for my storage-shed out back. No rush whatsoever, though --- get some shut-eye and then give me a jingle back when ya feel up to it --- thanks!!
zzzzfinger-interlacingzzzz
Refers to where your snugglebunny rolls over in bed and spoons you, then affectionately reaches his arm around over your shoulder and fumbles for your "lower" hand (i.e., the hand from the shoulder/arm that you're lying on, as opposed to your "upper" shoulder/arm that your hunny's arm is now draped over); you groggily respond to his "seeking touch" by absent-mindedly spreading open your hand and accommodatingly manipulating your fingers to entwine them with his, without really waking up much in the process. This action may likely need to be repeated multiple times during your slumber-period, since either one of you will occasionally be obliged to temporarily relinquish the comforting hand-clasp to scratch, re-arrange pillows/blankets, etc.
Tiffany is such a warm affectionate snuggler that I don't mind the dozen or so times each night that she wants me to perform "zzzzfinger-interlacingzzzz"; besides, she tells me that she sleeps more peacefully and has fewer bad dreams when she holds hands with me.
zzzzfinger-interlacingzzzz by QuacksO July 23, 2018
piggyback-purchase
Refers to merchandise that you pick up for someone else while shopping for your own items, either because this other person is unable to travel to the store himself, or because he is not a paid member of the big-box outfit where his desired items are offered, and so he has asked you as a member to obtain the items for him at the warehouse's bulk-package discount.
I don't buy enough household consumables to justify the $89-per-year membership-fee that Sam's Club charges, so I just piggyback-purchase them through the large family down the street.
piggyback-purchase by QuacksO July 23, 2018
secret shopper
Refers to members of the less-affluent sector of mall-customers who merely wish to purchase regular groceries and/or household products in bulk, but who do not buy enough yearly volume to justify paying the exorbitant "membership fee" that the "big box" stores like Sam's Club charge. These limited-income folks therefore discreetly approach "enrolled" club-members who have either just arrived at the store or are currently pushing their carts around the aisles, and quietly ask them if they could please also purchase the merchandise that the indigent people want along with the items on their own shopping lists, and then afterwards they all meet back up outside in the parking lot where there are no prying eyes from the store's staff, and the grateful low-income families carefully go over the obliging club-members' store-receipts to total up the costs of the "additionally-purchased" items, and then reimburse the members for the appropriate amounts in cash.
Being a secret shopper can indeed be a great way to save on household-staple items; just watch out for Sam's Club chiselers, however.
secret shopper by QuacksO July 23, 2018
heavenly riches
Those 0%!$@#& "fake US currency" tracts that sarcastically needle, "Disappointed? You won't be disappointed if you give your life to Jesus Christ!", and usually only serve to invalidly guilt-trip the reader by giving him a false feeling of personal greed (just about **anyone** would likely wanna pick up an easy ten/hundred dollars if it is just lying around --- that's not a true sign of actual bona fide greed!) and cause him to resentfully turn away from religion all the more.
It may or may not be true that "good deeds may entitle me to heavenly riches", as this stupid fake-ten-dollar-bill tract states, but I'd rather just have da ten dollars, thank you very much!
heavenly riches by QuacksO July 22, 2018
terrovangelist
Someone who goes on da boob-toob and tries to scare people into joining/supporting a certain religion.
Some terrovangelists like Blowjob Roberts use "proxy terror" --- stating that they themselves --- not their viewers --- will be subjected to The Great One's wrath if their viewers don't either get religion or send the shysters huge "appeasement sums".
terrovangelist by QuacksO July 22, 2018