Definitions by QuacksO
alphabetical arbitraries
Examples of "alphabetical arbitraries" include:
barbitrary: where ya gotta endure "pricky 'n' pokey" things, either real pointy-tipped objects or verbal "jabs".
carbitrary: where walking, biking, or horseback-riding are not options for getting from Point A to Point B. Could also mean how someone wif a sweet tooth views rich-ingredient goodies.
charbitrary: what meals are if da food is excessively heated prior to serving.
farbitrary: only lengthy distances permitted.
garbitrary: no "birthday suits" allowed.
jarbitrary: everything hasta be stored in wide-mouth containers.
marbitrary: a clean unblemished finish is a no-no, like at a demolition derby --- you only win if you get battered around.
scarbitrary: similar to above; you hafta show visible "school of hard knocks" signs to comply/qualify
sparbitrary: what it is for sailors on wind-powered ships --- you gotta climb da masts, mates --- it's part of da job.
starbitrary: where you hafta either have astronomy skills, or be a Hollywood icon.
warbitrary: what da military-gear-obsessed officials at Nova Robotics Corporation (think Skroeder and Dr. Warmonger --- I mean, Dr. Marner) seemed to think... unlike Newton Crosby, they thought dat "blowing stuff up" was da only path to peace.
barbitrary: where ya gotta endure "pricky 'n' pokey" things, either real pointy-tipped objects or verbal "jabs".
carbitrary: where walking, biking, or horseback-riding are not options for getting from Point A to Point B. Could also mean how someone wif a sweet tooth views rich-ingredient goodies.
charbitrary: what meals are if da food is excessively heated prior to serving.
farbitrary: only lengthy distances permitted.
garbitrary: no "birthday suits" allowed.
jarbitrary: everything hasta be stored in wide-mouth containers.
marbitrary: a clean unblemished finish is a no-no, like at a demolition derby --- you only win if you get battered around.
scarbitrary: similar to above; you hafta show visible "school of hard knocks" signs to comply/qualify
sparbitrary: what it is for sailors on wind-powered ships --- you gotta climb da masts, mates --- it's part of da job.
starbitrary: where you hafta either have astronomy skills, or be a Hollywood icon.
warbitrary: what da military-gear-obsessed officials at Nova Robotics Corporation (think Skroeder and Dr. Warmonger --- I mean, Dr. Marner) seemed to think... unlike Newton Crosby, they thought dat "blowing stuff up" was da only path to peace.
alphabetical arbitraries by QuacksO July 11, 2025
public-restroom etiquette
What we should all practice when visiting da "little boy's room" or "little girl's room".
"Top ten" public-restroom etiquette rules:
(1) Only stay as long as necessary, so dat other "in a hurry" folks can relieve themselves A.S.A.P. --- just "do your business", wash your hands, and vamoose!
(2) Only use da amount of RESOURCES dat you actually need, as well --- i.e., don't pull off "yards 'n' yards" of toilet-tissue or paper towels, just dispense da necessary volume of liquid soap or hand-sanitizer, run da faucet sparingly, etc. Remember dat whoever is providing said welcome lavatory is HIMSELF having to pay for said costly consumables!
(3) Speaking of toiletry-supplies, if you'll need to be spending any length of time on da porcelain throne, check out da tissue-dispenser --- if it's nearly empty and there's a replacement roll within arm's reach, utilize part of your extended "oval seat" period to swap out said mostly-consumed fiber cylinder; use da last of da old roll for your own present wiping.
(4) Remember to flush da toilet afterwards… duhhh!! Besides being far less gross for da unsuspecting "next" person, it can also reduce da issues discussed in Rule #9 below!
(5) And then speaking of "yuckies", "be a sweetie and cleanse da seatie" if you "sprinkled when you tinkled"! (Bonus reminder --- most people prefer if you put both da seat and lid down when you leave.)
"Top ten" public-restroom etiquette rules:
(1) Only stay as long as necessary, so dat other "in a hurry" folks can relieve themselves A.S.A.P. --- just "do your business", wash your hands, and vamoose!
(2) Only use da amount of RESOURCES dat you actually need, as well --- i.e., don't pull off "yards 'n' yards" of toilet-tissue or paper towels, just dispense da necessary volume of liquid soap or hand-sanitizer, run da faucet sparingly, etc. Remember dat whoever is providing said welcome lavatory is HIMSELF having to pay for said costly consumables!
(3) Speaking of toiletry-supplies, if you'll need to be spending any length of time on da porcelain throne, check out da tissue-dispenser --- if it's nearly empty and there's a replacement roll within arm's reach, utilize part of your extended "oval seat" period to swap out said mostly-consumed fiber cylinder; use da last of da old roll for your own present wiping.
(4) Remember to flush da toilet afterwards… duhhh!! Besides being far less gross for da unsuspecting "next" person, it can also reduce da issues discussed in Rule #9 below!
(5) And then speaking of "yuckies", "be a sweetie and cleanse da seatie" if you "sprinkled when you tinkled"! (Bonus reminder --- most people prefer if you put both da seat and lid down when you leave.)
Last five of da "top ten" public-restroom etiquette rules:
(6) Also tidy up da ROOM if it needs it --- flush down any dropped tissue, ram any “protruding” paper towels back down into da wastebasket, etc.
(7) As mentioned in Rule #2, whoever is "hosting" da bathroom is also PAYING for whatever resources dat said facility requires! So be sure to "turn everything off" before ya just blithely waltz off --- close da faucets firmly, and USUALLY (see below) switch off da electric lights and fan.
(8) If someone tries da locked door of da bathroom while you're still in there, keep this event in mind, both with regards to how rapidly you try to finish up, and also to then notice if said next user is still waiting outside da door when you start to exit; if so, practice "bodettiquette" and DON'T turn off da lights! Remember, this other person may really be urgently "needing to go", so you will want to make things quick and easy for him.
(9) If you "made a big stink" during your call-of-nature-related activities, you actually should **not** turn da vent-fan back off when you're done. And --- especially if there are likely to be other people located close to and/or passing by da door of da bathroom soon --- be sure to **close said door**, as well, to help keep da stench contained till da fan can sufficiently draw it away.
(10) Promptly tell da staff if da restroom needs attention, so dat da next user isn't greeted wif a nasty surprise, such as empty paper-dispensers or a clogged sink!
(6) Also tidy up da ROOM if it needs it --- flush down any dropped tissue, ram any “protruding” paper towels back down into da wastebasket, etc.
(7) As mentioned in Rule #2, whoever is "hosting" da bathroom is also PAYING for whatever resources dat said facility requires! So be sure to "turn everything off" before ya just blithely waltz off --- close da faucets firmly, and USUALLY (see below) switch off da electric lights and fan.
(8) If someone tries da locked door of da bathroom while you're still in there, keep this event in mind, both with regards to how rapidly you try to finish up, and also to then notice if said next user is still waiting outside da door when you start to exit; if so, practice "bodettiquette" and DON'T turn off da lights! Remember, this other person may really be urgently "needing to go", so you will want to make things quick and easy for him.
(9) If you "made a big stink" during your call-of-nature-related activities, you actually should **not** turn da vent-fan back off when you're done. And --- especially if there are likely to be other people located close to and/or passing by da door of da bathroom soon --- be sure to **close said door**, as well, to help keep da stench contained till da fan can sufficiently draw it away.
(10) Promptly tell da staff if da restroom needs attention, so dat da next user isn't greeted wif a nasty surprise, such as empty paper-dispensers or a clogged sink!
public-restroom etiquette by QuacksO July 11, 2025
bodettiquette
Checking to see if anyone is still in a room before snapping off da illumination-switch is basic bodettiquette.
bodettiquette by QuacksO July 11, 2025