Definitions by QuacksO

fart-detecting compound 

A.k.a. finely-pulverized talc. A substance utilized when you want to find out who's been cutting the cheese, but nobody's willing to 'fess up; the simple procedure involves having everyone strip down and stretch out on their stomachs, whereupon you sprinkle a moderate dusting of baby-powder on the lower half of their ass-cheeks, then watch for a "puffball eruption" --- busted!

Using fart-detecting compound can indeed be an excellent way of reliably determining "who did it", but you will want to be wary about slapping said odiferous-offender's butt afterwards, especially if you're an attractive female --- as you are all too aware, many dudes actually **enjoy** getting spanked by a cute gal (we find it fun and hilariously amusing, plus it makes us horny), and so your hot-headed attempt at getting back at said "whistleblower" may actually "backfire" --- literally! (Pun not intended, but certainly spot-on appropriate in this instance!) Said gassy dude --- and by extension, one or more of his other buddies in the room --- may then begin actively "tuning up the brass band" (and possibly even chow down on baked beans or other gas-producing delicacies to ensure an ample/continuous "supply" ) so as to "earn" smartly-administered swats from you, eventually leaving you with stinging palms and a major headache from da resulting stench.

fart-detecting compound by QuacksO December 4, 2018

Alphabet Rambo 

A 26-part "learning made fun and easy" kiddie-video series, hosted by everyone's favorite rebellious Marine. Examples include:
ARambo: John shows us assorted military long-guns.
BRAmbo" John advises "budding" girls on choosing the right undergarment.
CRAMbo: John studies hard for an upcoming exam.

The "Alphabet Rambo" collection also comprises the following highly-entertaining episodes:
DRAMbo: John discusses small-volume measurements used by the corner druggist.
ERAmbo: John reminisces about various periods in social culture.
FRAMbo: John changes the oil in his car
GRAMbo: Special guest-appearance of John's "Big Ma".
HRambo: John discusses the importance of networking.
IRAmbo. John discusses saving for the long term.
JRambo: Special guest-appearance of John's son.
KRAMbo: "Heavy duty" version of Episode #3.
LRambo: John shows which hand is which.
MRambo: John discusses masculinity.
NRAmbo: John discusses his firearms-organization membership.
ORambo: John discusses choices and alternatives.
PRambo: John discusses the importance of a good reputation.
QRambo: John shows us various bar-codes.
RRambo: John takes us track-side to show us locomotives and cars, plus the awesome equipment used in running and maintaining trains.
SRambo: Special guest-appearance of John's father.
TRAMbo: John takes us along on a ride in a cable-car up a mountainside.
URAmbo: John tells us about the Urban Redevelopment Authority.
VRambo: John demonstrates 3-D video imagery.
WRambo: John shows how letters are sometimes silent.
XRAMbo: .sweiv laicos laisrevortnoc sih dna lraK suomafni eht sessucsid nhoJ
YRAMbo: .“neeuq noitucexe” yrutnec-ht61 suoiroton eht sessucsid nhoJ
ZRAMbo: .yrewerb ogacihC a fo ruot a no su sekat nhoJ

Alphabet Rambo by QuacksO December 4, 2018

Howard Bakery 

Da infamous Washington, D.C.-based sweets-shop that sold all the tasty-but-super-unhealthy ingredients of the Iran-Contra scandal --- orange mcfarlanade, oliver oil, poindextrose. etc. They also often had a sale on Tower cakes, and ran specials on chocolate-chip cookies by the Casey.

I've heard of confectionery-stores' selling all kinds of "sinful delights", but the Howard bakery really "took the cake" for the total rogue's gallery of appallingly-harmful culinary products on its shelves!

Howard Bakery by QuacksO December 3, 2018

embracing-towel 

A large clean towel that you carry with you while strolling the beach, and then drape around the shoulders of any cute chicks whom you meet prior to giving them a hug, so that you don't hafta endure any disgusting yucky-sticky skin-to-skin contact with sweaty/oily arms, necks, chests, backs, and shoulders during said embraces.

I find that bathing beauties are much more willing to give me a hug when I bring along an embracing-towel; I even occasionally receive a warm-hearted compliment from da chick for my being "such a perfect gentleman" to think considerately of her like that.

embracing-towel by QuacksO December 2, 2018

periodic profile-purging 

A boring-but-necessary bit of drudgery that must be performed every so often on your Facebook and other online "this is me and my life" pages, to ferret out and delete any derogatory/offensive/useless content that a few lazy-a** hoodlums with excessively-temperish personalities (and an unwillingness to merely talk to you directly/privately if they have a gripe with you about something, instead of just splashing their whimpery B.S. all over your profile's comments-section) and/or way too much time on their hands have posted there, so that other viewers of your profiles will not get any wrong ideas about you (i.e., incorrectly think that whatever is being complained about regarding you is actually valid, invalidly assume that you approve of and/or welcome less-than-decent-or-positive material, etc.).

I have to laboriously perform a periodic profile-purging for my Facebook and Tagged account-pages every few months, but I find it worthwhile, since most people whom I befriend online tell me that they like what they see in my profiles, and no doubt this is largely because I try to keep them "clean and pristine" so that viewers are not offended as they scroll down the pages.

periodic profile-purging by QuacksO December 2, 2018

promisecuous 

Denotes the status of frequently making an verbal commitment to spread your legs as "collateral" for a favor that someone else does for you, such as loaning you money, giving you a ride, performing manual labor for you, etc.

Agreeing to help a promisecuous lady may be all well and good, but one should consider how likely it is that said chick will actually keep her word when the time comes for her to "deliver the goods".

promisecuous by QuacksO November 28, 2018

Marco Polo

An ancient European explorer who taught everyone whom he met how to play golf and croquet from horseback.

Marco Polo and his followers may indeed have had intensely happy times with all their whooping and swinging while riding on horseback, and more power to them, I say. Still, I much prefer just sharing a quiet "strolling around on foot" mallets-and-balls game with my family and friends, thank you very much.

Marco Polo by QuacksO November 28, 2018