Definitions by QuacksO
premature elocution
Refers to a keyboarding-slip whereby you inadvertently "catch" da "Enter" key wif da right side of your thick clumsy finger when hitting da "quote/apostrophe" key while composing an instant-message to someone, causing said incomplete/unedited message to get sent to him before you were ready.
I love these new rubbery finger-cots dat reduce impact-fatigue/soreness of my fingertips while keyboarding and give me better "traction" on the keys, but da boots' sticky spongy surfaces cause me to perform a lot more premature elocutions than if I was just typing wif my bare leathery-dry fingers.
premature elocution by QuacksO May 20, 2019
ma'ammogram
Refers to where someone checks someone else's chest-pillows to determine if da person being examined is actually female or not.
Performing ma'ammograms could indeed conceivably be a way to acceptably get to touch "The Merchandise" on lots of hot chicks; da problem is dat conceivably you would only be permitted a brief handling of each person, and then you'd be expected to move on to da next person, so you'd never really get ca opportunity to satisfyingly "feel up the goods" of any particular person all dat much.
ma'ammogram by QuacksO May 20, 2019
youthanize
To "fatally" screw up someone's "natural" or "normal" progression into maturity; two of the most common forms of this abuse are to either invalidly/excessively tell a tender/naive-minded little one to "grow up already", or to put down an adult by "treating him like a five-year-old".
I signed up for adult-counselling in an effort to get my social screws tightened, and they did an excellent job --- one big way they helped me was to teach me to recognize when others were trying to youthanize me, and then simply disregard these verbal barbs so that they could no longer hurt me emotionally.
youthanize by QuacksO May 18, 2019
Murphy's Law of Intersections
"You can 'watch 'n' observe' as carefully as you please while driving and you will still miss your turn-off, and so no amount of continued 'Oh, I'm sure it's just around the next curve" tootling further down the road will bring you to it. But if you do actually decide to turn around and go back to see if you did inadvertently pass your desired intersection, it will of course NOT be 'back there', and you will subsequently find out that you'd been within just a few hundred yards of it at the point when you'd turned around, and so you simply wasted gas and time by backtracking; it had indeed been 'just around the next corner', and so you'd have reached it the first time if you simply hadn't been so gol-durned impatient."
I missed my turn-off during a road-trip because I was carefully watching out for traffic and thus never noticed the side-road I wanted --- classic case of Murphy's Law of Intersections!
Murphy's Law of Intersections by QuacksO May 18, 2019
Shushoni
A tribe of Native people in the American southwest whose members prefer less loud/voluminous speech than many other Native Americans do.
Whyoming
A state where (1) everyone INSIDE the state wants to know the reason for everything, and (2) everyone OUTSUDE the state wants to know the reason that everyone INSIDE the state wants to live there, since it's so windswept, desolate, and boring.
Murphy's Law of Foul-Weather Gear
"If you 'prepare for the worst' by bringing along extra jackets/gloves, an umbrella, etc., then the skies will be sunny and mild all the time you're 'out 'n' about'. But if you decide to leave all that stuff behind at home and set out on your trip in just your ordinary street-clothes, there'll be a bleepin' MONSOON or HURRICANE!
The morning started out kinda overcast and nippy, so I brought an umbrella, thick hoodie-jacket, and gloves with me when I set out to run some errands around town. Well, naturally, once I got a fair distance from home and thus I didn't wanna traipse all the way back to put everything away again, the sun came out and the day got really warm, and so I was just feverishly lugging all that extra stuff around with me for nothing... classic case of "Murphy's Law of Foul-Weather Gear", I guess.
Murphy's Law of Foul-Weather Gear by QuacksO May 18, 2019