Definitions by QuacksO
TP toll-booth
A.k.a. "balky bowel". Refers to where you remain sitting on da porcelain throne for a long time in an attempt to get "that last bit" to come out, but no dice... you're obliged to "pay a toll of toilet-paper" to progress any further, in that you hafta actually wipe yourself to get said "stubborn blob" to make its messy exit. But then, of course (and ONLY then --- again, you can have worked your sphincter muscles all you please, but the remaining poop still won't budge) you will discover that there are still some of Ollie North's "residuals" up inside your anus, and so you will hafta use even more of your precious costly Scott 1000-sheet roll to wipe repeatedly till you finally get it all out.
My butt-hole is unfortunately a chronic TP toll-booth, and so to save money, I use old recycled phone-books and other thin newspaper-type material to do my initial wiping after I go No. 2, and then only use toilet-paper to "finish up with".
TP toll-booth by QuacksO May 25, 2019
Blighpass surgery
An operation performed on the infamous late-18th-century sea captain and Vice-Admiral of the Royal Navy. Can also loosely refer to any surgery in which the distressed/exhausted patient feels like the rejected commander of a mutinied ship afterwards.
I told the doctor that I only had pleurisy and thus I merely needed some pain-killer, but he tried to convince me to have my appendix removed. He obviously just wanted to milk MaineCare for more operations than were truly necessary; I declined his Blighpass surgery.
Blighpass surgery by QuacksO May 24, 2019
age verification
Anytime a website asks for "age verification" by requesting my credit-card information, I just click out of the page... it's just another potential way for fraudsters to drain my assets or commit identity theft.
age verification by QuacksO May 22, 2019
nefairyous
The Grimm brothers' famous fantasy-lore book is far from a pleasant read overall --- lots of nefairyous goings-on are related in said lengthy tome!
nefairyous by QuacksO May 22, 2019
Phallustine
A region of the Middle East where male nudity is permitted, and most dudes are real "dicks" when it comes to social interaction.
According to a map of the world showing the average penis-sizes of males in the different countries, guys in the Phallustine area have medium-size schlongs, whereas the love-pipes of the dudes in neighboring Lebanon are some of the largest in the world, so I wonder if the two groups are in a heated "mine is bigger than yours" competition, which might explain why many of them always go around with their "downstairs equipment" hanging out in plain view, and also why everyone seems to hate each other over there.
Phallustine by QuacksO May 22, 2019
Phyllistines
For years I had an elderly neighbor named Phyllis who was a real "political rebel" with lots of determination to assist others, so perhaps she was a descendant of the Phyllistines.
Phyllistines by QuacksO May 22, 2019
Ferrousies
The Ferrousies may have believed in only one god, but they surely spent an "ungodly" amount of time fighting with their neighbors (and creating iron weapons to do so) instead of actually sitting down with them and cool-headedly researching/discussing said belief.
Ferrousies by QuacksO May 22, 2019