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QuacksO's definitions

third-degree fart

Unlike a mildly-to-moderately-heated first- or second-degree fart that may merely cause minor reddening and/or blistering, this term refers to a super-hot expellation of concentrated putrid methane that not only broils Uranus and singes your butthole-hairs on the way out, but it also scorches the thigh/knee of any unfortunate fellow human being who happens to be unsuspectingly holding you on his lap at the time! It is wise, therefore, to be constantly "aware" of your colon's current "status" or "progression" of fart-activity whenever you're canoodling with someone, so that if you "feel one on the way", you can hastily hop off (here's one case where your lover most definitely **won't** think you rude or anti-social when you abruptly/wordlessly bounce up off his lap) and direct your posteriors away from your snuggle-buddy, anyone else within a fifty-foot radius, and of course, any source of fire (yes, farts are VERY MUCH flammable!), such as the outdoor grille that's currently frying up another big batch of the same beans 'n' hot wings that made you have the awful flatulence in the first place.
Redneck chick: I don't wanna have any interruption of the romantic snuggle-time with my hopefully-future-husband at our family's backyard barbecue this evening, so I'd better not partake of any of that rich spicy stuff that always gives me the third-degree farts!
by QuacksO December 26, 2016
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farm-stand harvest

Refers to the pathetic practice of as few particularly-unscrupulous/selfish folks who go around to unattended produce-booths that typically pop up in late Summer and early Fall, carefully note which of the stands use unsecured "purely on the honor system" money-containers like screw-top canning-jars or snap-top coffee-cans, and then wait till late enough in the afternoon when the "unprotected" booths' cash-containers would logically be about the "most heavy with the day's fruit and therefore ripe for the plucking", but still a little while before the farmers would likely arrive back at their stands to close up shop and collect their money... the greedy light-fingered shysters then hastily empty out the containers into their own pockets and leave without anyone's being the wiser.
It's just too bad that you can't trust people nowadays with even fairly small amounts of cash laying around! Fruit/vegetable gardeners will do well to take steps to foil farm-stand harvesters --- one of the best ways is to n-e-v-e-r simply leave ordinary easily-opened/broken containers for legitimate customers to leave their money for purchasing the booth's produce --- instead you'll want to supply a "drop it in the slot"-based money-container, and have the container firmly/solidly fastened down so that it cannot be readily "lifted" and transported elsewhere to be forced open later. I would recommend a heavy-walled plywood or metal box with glue-covered countersink-embedded deck-screws or welded-together bolts that cannot simply be unscrewed, and have the box securely bolted to the farm-stand's main framing-timbers where it cannot be simply pried loose by hand.
by QuacksO September 9, 2018
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redeuced

Da lessening of a hand of cards to just two points.
When I tossed da dice and they started to slow on their rolling, I thought for sure dat I was gonna get a high number, but then da cubes flopped over one more face and both landed with their "one" dots upwards, so my number was drastically redeuced.
by QuacksO March 24, 2021
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Dischenectady

The lesser-known "sister city" to the famous east-central New York municipality; its residents are known for being rather disjointed and unable to adequately focus their attention on community goals.
I hate boring routines and schedules, so Dischenectady, New York sounds like a perfect place for me to relocate to.
by QuacksO December 13, 2018
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purseuer

A strong-willed moocher who "chases" someone possessing significant funds.
I make it a general policy to never loan money to anyone, in an effort to not attract purseuers to my doorstep.
by QuacksO March 12, 2019
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sizemograph

A calculating device that hot chicks use to determine how big a dude's "downstairs equipment" is.
I don't need no 0%!$@#& sizemograph to figure out if I wanna have sex wif a well-hung dude --- I just tell him to "shove it in", and if it feels good having him up inside me, I simply let him go ahead and start thrusting.
by QuacksO February 25, 2019
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bean sprouts and tofu

Two of the very few foods in the world that are actually good for you.
While it is indeed true that bean sprouts and tofu are really yucky-tasting and never seem to fill you up, they are literally one of the few edibles on Earth that you can actually eat without guilt (or weight-gain!). There's a simple rule of thumb when choosing what foods to stuff yer face with --- if it TASTES GOOD, it's not GOOD FOR YOU... plain and simple. But you already knew that. Pass the burgers and fries, please!
by QuacksO September 5, 2019
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