Definitions by QuacksO

periodic affection 

Refers to da occasional hugs, kisses, hand-claps, pats on the head/back, shoulder-scrunchies, etc. dat at a cuddly dude gives a visiting lady-friend to ensure dat she never feels ignored, lonesome, or "left out" for too long during periods while he's busying himself with "bachelor chores" like housework, vehicle-maintenance, etc.

I met a nice lady on Tagged.com who is wonderful company whenever she visits, but she has physical infirmities dat make her unable to just effortlessly tag along wif me while I go about my daily duties around da house and garage, so I always make sure to shower her wif plenty of periodic affection so dat she feels reassured dat I remember dat she's there and appreciate her spending time wif me.

periodic affection by QuacksO October 10, 2019

Osiris McCormick

Da ancient Egyptian god who invented da first mechanical farming-machinery.

Da concept and process of growing/harvesting food-crops was very important to da ancient Egyptians, so it's no wonder dat dey revered and worshiped da god Osiris McCormick above all da others, since he provided easier means of agriculture through mechanization.

Osiris McCormick by QuacksO October 8, 2019

lookemia 

A weakening of the immune system that obliges the sufferer to visit the WC many times a day.

As often as Huckleberry Finn's father had to take a leak during his drinking-binges, one could not be sure if it was merely the alcohol, or if he was suffering from lookemia.

lookemia by QuacksO October 8, 2019

house of warship

A "holy ground" locale where navy-servicemen come to pray for protection prior to going to battle on the high seas.

I prefer to avoid armed conflict of any kind, so I see no need to attend a house of warship every Sunday.

house of warship by QuacksO October 8, 2019

salmanella

A serious bacterial ailment caused by excessive reading of The Satanic Verses and other books authored by Mr. Rushdie.

I'm not much into sensational or controversial literature, so I have no reason to risk contacting salmanella by reading crap like that.

salmanella by QuacksO October 6, 2019

sircumstances 

Refers to da unique/particular conditions at a given period in a dude's life.

I may not be so financially-successful or dashingly-handsome as some of the other guys in my area, but at least I have the basics like a home, vehicle, and food on the table, so I guess that's pretty good sircumstances "taken all around".

sircumstances by QuacksO October 5, 2019

stitchuation 

A humiliating debacle resulting from a sewing-related issue.

Sarge should have known better than to task Zero with repairing the Camp Swampy soldier's worn uniforms; the end-result of said buck-toothed farmer-boy's zealous-but-clueless tailoring efforts was a totally chaotic stitchuation with said duds --- a tangled mess of lumpy/crooked seams, sewn-shut cuffs and collars, errantly-placed buttons, puckered/wrinkled/gapping sleeves, etc.

stitchuation by QuacksO October 4, 2019