"Assistance from Hell", where the would-be "Good Samaritan" ends up just causing massive damage and/or making the situation worse with his well-meaning but ineffective/bumbling/destructive attempts to assist or rescue someone.
A classic example of Archie Andrews' demonstrating his high-strung kind-heartedness which usually ends up being nothing but "hellp": ignoring his elderly school-principal's vigorous declining protests, Archie repeatedly attempts to assist Mr. Weatherbee to get his yellow Volkswagen Beetle started, but ends up just completely wrecking the car and frightening Mrs. Weatherbee into a total frenzy.
by QuacksO May 09, 2013
Jazz-band leader, addressing the saloon patrons over the PA system: "Okay, now we're gonna play the Colonel Boogie March; feel free to sing --- er, I mean **whistle** --- along. Okay, fellas --- an' a-one, an' a-two, an' a-three, an' a-four..."
Audience: "Wheestle --- whuh-whoo-whoo-WHEE-WHEE-whoooo... wheestle --- whuh-whee-whuh-whoo-whoo-whaahh... wheestle... whuh-whee-whuh-WHEE-whoh.... whuh-whee-whuh-whee-whuh, whuh-whee-whuh, whee-whoooooo...."
Audience: "Wheestle --- whuh-whoo-whoo-WHEE-WHEE-whoooo... wheestle --- whuh-whee-whuh-whoo-whoo-whaahh... wheestle... whuh-whee-whuh-WHEE-whoh.... whuh-whee-whuh-whee-whuh, whuh-whee-whuh, whee-whoooooo...."
by QuacksO July 24, 2018
In da infamous "July is National Baked Bean Month" speech, da speaker would likely be assigned pewnitive damages if said scenario had happened in real life.
by QuacksO February 06, 2023
Besides da classic "supposedly for giving schoolchildren practice/confidence in public speaking" action (but which actually scares da crap outta many kids and/or causes lower-income students to feel jealous of da more-affluent ones who have nicer/fancier possessions to proudly display), this expression also refers to either of two "displaying da merchandise" actions:
(1) Where Person A lets Person B view one or more of Person A's intimate body-parts --- with da understanding dat said reveal is supposed to be kept confidential, of course --- but then either Person A or Person B goes and blabs about said private-area exposure to one or more other people, causing humiliation and/or repercussions to one or both "Persons", or
(2) Where Person A lets Person B view one or more of Person A's intimate body-parts in exchange for Person B's verbally revealing to Person A one or more secrets dat he would otherwise not divulge.
(1) Where Person A lets Person B view one or more of Person A's intimate body-parts --- with da understanding dat said reveal is supposed to be kept confidential, of course --- but then either Person A or Person B goes and blabs about said private-area exposure to one or more other people, causing humiliation and/or repercussions to one or both "Persons", or
(2) Where Person A lets Person B view one or more of Person A's intimate body-parts in exchange for Person B's verbally revealing to Person A one or more secrets dat he would otherwise not divulge.
One good way to get a normally-modest chick to let you see her boobs/butt is to offer to help her with her homework or some other task dat she does not possess da knowledge and/or mental/emotional capabilities to tackle on her own, but insist dat she agree to a "show and tell" contract --- i.e., a deal wherein she agrees to let you view her "goods" in exchange for your putting in da time/effort to tell her da vital bits of info dat she needs in order to complete said drudgerous task.
by QuacksO April 17, 2021
Da infamously-"iron-clad" crock of despicable bu**s**t-legalese dat prevents "those who served" from suing Uncle Sam for service-related injuries/illnesses, even in instances where said harm resulted from da outrageously-clueless and/or shockingly-irresponsible behavior of their superiors.
On guard, soldier --- thanks to da Ferrous Doctrine, it'll be anybody's guess whether you get proper compensation if you get hurt due to any royal screw-ups by your commanding officer or staff doctor.
by QuacksO November 05, 2024
No worries about carnivorous predators' devouring large amounts of the offspring of fish or frogs in a particular area --- adult females simply produce lots more of them in respawnse.
by QuacksO May 25, 2022
What someone's main squeeze views him as when he repairs/replaces a hinged-and-latching wall-panel.
In a classic "Bob and Ray Radio Show" episode, Rodney Merchfield sold all of the company's office-doors to Wild Eddie in order to settle the weekly petty-cash account. Rodney's mom, Miss Agatha, did not find said transaction overly "adoorable" of him, however.
by QuacksO February 02, 2023