Fluffy may claim to be your advocat, but oftentimes said small domesticated carnivores will actually gravitate towards those who feed them da tastiest meatiest snacks!
by QuacksO December 10, 2024
The "vintage" whiny-toned "petty-squabbles" bu**s**t that Abigail VanBuren "recycles" from question-letters that she received way back in the '60's and '70's... sawdusty-dry boring "outdated" crap that we modern and more-socially-enlightened folks "know better now" than to create or encounter, but that we're all forced to suffer through on Abby's daily column, as if it's actually still valid "current-times" stuff.
An example of the "quaint quibbles" that are seldom an issue nowadays, but which still seem to irritatingly form the bulk of Ms. VanBuren's column:
Dear Abby,
I am getting married to "Sam" in June. My future mother-in-law, "Claire", wants to be our wedding-planner; she reasons that since she is hosting (and largely funding, as neither I nor my fiancé have spare cash) the wedding, she should be allowed to dictate the wedding-arrangements, and to choose which guests to invite. "Claire" comes from a strictly-orthodox and conservative background, and so she wants our wedding to be formal and dignifierd, whereas my husband-to-be and I prefer a simpler and more-casual setting. In addition, "Claire" has really atrocious tastes when it comes to decor; frankly, her house resembles the inside of a ghost-mansion, with dark curtains, drab wallpaper, etc. So "Sam" and I fear that "Claire" will ruin our wedding with her cheerless presentation-ideas, plus she has occasionally hinted not-so-subtly that she disapproves of many of our friends, claiming they are too "trendy" and undignified. We want our "special day" to be just that --- special, which means being surrounded by the people we enjoy, not just the insipid and overly-judgemental folks whom "Claire" approves of.
Abby, how can we preserve our amicable footing with "Claire" (she will soon be part of our extended family, after all), while maintaining the enjoyment of ourselves and our wedding-guests?
Distressed in Detroit
Dear Abby,
I am getting married to "Sam" in June. My future mother-in-law, "Claire", wants to be our wedding-planner; she reasons that since she is hosting (and largely funding, as neither I nor my fiancé have spare cash) the wedding, she should be allowed to dictate the wedding-arrangements, and to choose which guests to invite. "Claire" comes from a strictly-orthodox and conservative background, and so she wants our wedding to be formal and dignifierd, whereas my husband-to-be and I prefer a simpler and more-casual setting. In addition, "Claire" has really atrocious tastes when it comes to decor; frankly, her house resembles the inside of a ghost-mansion, with dark curtains, drab wallpaper, etc. So "Sam" and I fear that "Claire" will ruin our wedding with her cheerless presentation-ideas, plus she has occasionally hinted not-so-subtly that she disapproves of many of our friends, claiming they are too "trendy" and undignified. We want our "special day" to be just that --- special, which means being surrounded by the people we enjoy, not just the insipid and overly-judgemental folks whom "Claire" approves of.
Abby, how can we preserve our amicable footing with "Claire" (she will soon be part of our extended family, after all), while maintaining the enjoyment of ourselves and our wedding-guests?
Distressed in Detroit
by QuacksO April 16, 2019
Dudes who frequently "score" wif one or more ladies may eventually suffer cardiopummelnary complications if they perform da standard "I's da MAN" braggartly-celebration routine after each "conquest".
by QuacksO June 30, 2021
Loyalty to your country dat you show by willingly/trustingly sending Uncle Sam big bucks anytime he asks for them.
Linus van Pelt said dat he wanted to grow up to be "a great philanthropist with someone else's money". Sounds like Tronald Dump has done just dat --- telling us dat our financially supporting our government is da only way for us to show true paytriotism, yet being about da worst tax-dodger in recorded history himself!
by QuacksO March 08, 2023
I find it difficult to feel overly loyal or respectfully supportive towards a polygamous religious leader who's fathered so many "Brigham's young" children; Warren Jeffs comes to mind as a prime example.
by QuacksO December 28, 2021
What an orchestral conductor with solid FAITH in his easy-listening creations hopefully avoided from fans of other types of music.
If you prefer jazz or rock, there's no need to subject a classical or mood-music artist to Percycution --- nobody said dat you hafta listen to said soft leisurely-paced selections!
by QuacksO June 21, 2024
by QuacksO November 13, 2023