Definitions by QuacksO

Mount Dawdlemore 

A huge stone monument in South Dakota dat celebrates a few of da less "speedy" U.S. Presidents; i.e., commanders-in-chief who really "took their sweet ol' time" in making significant changes to their country and its political attributes.

A lot of da U.S. Prez figures down through history are sarcastically viewed by many disgruntled citizens as being little more than dat --- "figures"... these dissatisfied folks feel dat da majority of da presidents were largely ineffective at actually making significant positive difference in da overall economy or da well-being of da country in general. It would therefore be difficult to choose which of these four-or-eight-year head-honchos should be remembered by having their ugly mugs recreated in granite and marble on Mount Dawdlemore, since so many of them were considered to have contributed so little to da health of da nation while they were in office.

Mount Dawdlemore by QuacksO December 5, 2020

apologetic guffaw

Refers to where someone noisily pretends to regret an action --- such as turning off a light, splashing water, etc. --- which caused someone else momentary shock and/or outrage, when in reality said prankster was completely intentional in performing said minor atrocity, and has gotten a huge giggle out of the hilarious-to-him distressed reaction of his "victim"!

Dude #1: flips the ceiling-light off in an otherwise-darkened garage where he is fully aware that his buddy is working
Dude #2: indignantly: Yo!!
Dude #1 in a classic "apologetic guffaw" tone "Huh-hoh --- saww-rreee" gives a big grin as he flips the switch back on again.

apologetic guffaw by QuacksO December 5, 2020

allotimony

A "grim grins" way of describing da exorbitant amount dat an ex-spouse is often compelled to pay da person whom he divorced.

If "Wild Willie" Clinton had to pay child-support to all of da women whom he got knocked up over da decades, he'd sure hafta shell out big-time for "allotimony"!

allotimony by QuacksO December 5, 2020

begaphone 

An amplified speaking-device dat someone uses to solicit charity from anyone in da general vicinity.

I always try to help others who are truly in need, but if someone requesting help is assailing everyone's eardrums by hollering into a begaphone, dat would definitely be a turn-off for me.

begaphone by QuacksO December 4, 2020

ducktility 

Da flexibility and tensile-strength of different species of oily-feathered quackers.

When arranging and/or overseeing a tug-of-war competition among Mallards and Muscovies, one should consider said birds' ducktility.

ducktility by QuacksO December 4, 2020

ambidextrose 

Da ability to pick up containers of corn-syrup from a shelf on either side of da supermarket-aisle.

If you consume significant amounts of unhealthful sugar-type substances over a long enough period of time, you will likely become so "ballooned out" on both sides dat you may even cease to be ambidextrose while shopping for yet more of your sickly-sweet baking ingredients!!

ambidextrose by QuacksO December 4, 2020

door-laches 

A law dat prevents someone from hollering about a gate's being left unsecured if said closable barrier has been in said undone state for a long period of time.

As often as James Herriot had vehemently reminded Farmer Ripley about the broken gate that kept causing him injurious grief every time he had to open or shut it, there is little chance that said lazy farmer could bring a door-laches claim against said hapless country-vet for his indignant and aggravated protests regarding said deteriorated barrier.

door-laches by QuacksO December 3, 2020