majestrate

A monarch or other supreme ruler who also hears court cases.

High-'n'-mighty jerks of royalty like King Fink and Prince John were notorious majestrates, as well, and their unfair, self-serving, and heavy-handed decisions caused wide-spread unrest and resentment among their subjects.

by QuacksO May 11, 2022

alphabetical investigations

BINvestigation: Where a person or animal paws through your storage-containers
DINvestigation: Finding out what all da hubbub was about
FINvestigation: What a game warden performs on anglers after a day of casting their poles and/or nets
GINvestigation: Can refer to either (1) a sobriety check, or (2) detective work regarding suspicion/reports of booze-smuggling
KINvestigation: Research to either determine who da deadbeat dad is, or locate relatives in an estate-settlement kerfuffle
PINvestigation: Squinting around to find out who either (1) left da thumbtack on da teacher's chair, or (2) who used someone's debit card without permission
SINvestigation: What a priest performs if da confessions-booth doesn't adequately do da trick
TINvestigation: Gumshoe work to see who used crappy-a** sheet-metal for a construction/repair job
VINvestigation: Checking up on da bar-code-type digits on a car's front deck
WINvestigation: What Al Gore wanted performed during da infamous "hanging chad" debacle wif da Y2K voting-cards
YINvestigation: Researching for da first half of da classic Chinese equation

If you enjoy detective work, immersing yourself in da dozen-or-so types of alphabetical investigations should keep ya occupied for a while.

by QuacksO December 10, 2022

character ass-sass-ination

Refers to publicly-voiced derisive/uncomplimentary remarks/details ("sass") made about someone regarding his less-than-perfect-looking posterior ("ass").

(a prime example of character ass-sass-ination, from an old "Blondie" cartoon) Mrs. Dithers: In my younger days, I had quite a following.
Mr. Dithers: And she still does, heh, heh, heh... (cheekily placing his hand beside his mouth as if to prevent his wife from hearing his "aside" remark) ...but her dress-maker keeps it well-hidden!
Dagwood (staring down at Mr. Dithers' prostrate figure that's sprawled untidily on the floor as his irately-unamused wife stomps off in a huff): Do you see stars, Boss?
Mr. Dithers: Stars?!?? I can see the entire AURORA BOREALIS!!!

by QuacksO August 09, 2018

pier pressure

Trying to force someone to act in a certain way or perform a certain action by making him stand at da very edge of a platform so dat he fears falling off.

Captain Hook tried using "pier pressure" on Wendy --- i.e., telling her dat she either had to join him in his pirating escapades or walk da plank --- but fortunately Peter Pan arrived just in time, and freed Wendy and her friends before any harm befell them.

by QuacksO December 26, 2022

oarigin

Da time/place where boat-paddles first emerged over da course of history.

Seeing as how floating vessels date back to da earliest known human-population eras, da oarigin of manually propelling them would likely have occurred at a comparably super-ancient time as said buoyant contraptions themselves appeared.

by QuacksO November 21, 2024

local Lauren forcement

What we'd have if Ms. Bacall was sheriff.

Since da former Mrs. Humphrey Bogart was such a strong proponent of women's rights, said famous Liberal-Party actress might have had to do some major 'weeding of da ranks" --- or at least instigate a robustly-potent gender-fairness-training program --- if she'd assumed a "local Lauren forcement" role, since not all of da deputies under her control might have been similarly equality-minded.

by QuacksO March 17, 2024

Vin Da Boner

The infamous leftist television-producer who only hires people whose appearance gives him a reaction "down there".

Showing up in a skimpy outfit for a job-interview might indeed give you a somewhat better chance of being hired by Vin Da Boner, but race tends to be more of a deciding factor for him than just attractive physical appearance.

by QuacksO October 30, 2018