QuacksO's definitions

treble damages

What you ask for in a lawsuit against an audio-equipment manufacturer due to your stereo's loudspeakers having a dull muffled "muddy" sound instead of producing crisp high-frequencies as they are supposed to.

I am amazed that anyone would bother suing for treble damages; since many audiophiles --- especially the younger ones --- complain that their systems don't produce enough BASS... usually the midrange and high notes come through just fine.

by QuacksO September 4, 2019

defurred loan-payment

Refers to a situation in yer financial life where --- either self-imposed or by agreement with your lender --- you refrain from haircuts and/or shaving until you've settled a debt.

Defurred loan-payment plans will often specify both beards and scalp-hair, so dat said agreements can be gender-neutral --- as we all know, dudes and gals tend to have largely-opposite situations when it comes to cranial-foliage. In other words, ladies don't usually grow significant beards, of course, but their head-hair does tend to keep growing fairly rapidly, even as they become older. Aging guys, on da other hand, tend to go bald "up top" but grow humongous whiskers, so a lender's contract specifying "no razors or scissors" pretty much "covers everything" for both genders, if you'll pardon da pun. :P

by QuacksO March 2, 2021

Dewey Decibel System

A calibrated scale of sound-pressure-level used to measure the degree of ambient noise inside a library. Named after the infamous Thomas E. Dewey and his thunderously-cacophonous presidential campaign against Harry Truman.

The noise-level that's acceptable for inside a library is no more than 35dB on the Dewey Decibel System .

by QuacksO February 24, 2017

impreachment hearing

A possibly-giving-you-da-boot-from-office testimony-session whereby you're not only compelled to go through da distress and humiliation of trying to defend/justify da actions under discussion, but are also forced to endure copious Bible-readings relating to your supposed transgressions.

One way to determine if a scandalized politician is truly da "Man of God" dat he claims to be would be to subject him to an impreachment hearing and see if he is truly able to maintain his composure, or if he eventually "cracks" and outbursts with a noisy tirade.

by QuacksO August 27, 2022

critical Mass

A supposedly "deciding" Sunday service that someone of Catholic faith feels that he must attend prior to death if he still wants to avoid going to Hell.

This whole "deathbed confession and reformation" bu**s**t just sounds like another example of "critical Mass" to me --- it sounds waaaaayyyy too "easy" or "convenient" a way to be evil and selfish all your life. How can things truly be "made whole again" if you've seriously mistreated others for many years, and then suddenly atone for it "at the last minute"?? There are still all of those other people whom you've hurt (and have had their lives ruined by your meanness) to think about --- why don't you make said "born-aginner" beliefs truly count by arranging for the restorations of those other people's losses, rather than just symbolically "making your peace with God" but still ignoring all the damage you've done over the past decades?!

by QuacksO March 18, 2019

riding shotgun

Having cowboy/cowgirl sex with a girl whose "paw" would likely make you marry her at da barrel of a thirty-aught-six side-by-side if he found out.

Hey, if you wanna risk having a roll in da hay with a hot-bodied farmer's daughter, knock yourself out, but just bear in mind dat you might likely be "riding shotgun", especially if you get said lovely damsel preggo --- remember, da cuter/sweeter da angelic-faced girl is, da more fiercely-protective her "paw" is likely to be.

by QuacksO February 21, 2023

Murphy's Law Of Buying In Bulk

"You can keep purchasing small costlier-per-piece packages of a product till Doomsday, and you will always continue needing a sizable amount/quantity of it per week/month/year. But then just as soon as you plunk down a tidy sum for an economy-priced bulk-quantity of said commodity, your needs and/or lifestyle will immediately change, and so now you will likely never even begin to consume that much volume in your entire lifetime."

For example, you purchase several cases of plain white paraffin candles for your antique chandelier that you love to illuminate every evening, only to then discover that an electric-candle "upgrade" kit is available, and comes with fixtures that look just like the elegant candles and fit perfectly into your chandelier's holders! So now you're stuck with many hundreds of little white-wax tapers that you'll probably never have any use for.

I feel like such a total bulk-buying buffoon --- I had been consuming several expensive plywood-cutting circular-saw blades per year in my household woodworking-tasks, and so eventually I had purchased a bargain-priced fifty-pack of only-minutely-rusty "new old stock" Skilsaw-blades from a private seller on E-Bay. But then I had started using a larger-bladed table-saw for most of my panel-slicing/trimming needs, and so I've only used one or two of the circular-saw blades from the package in the many months since that time! Sounds like a classic case of "Murphy's Law Of Buying In Bulk" to me!!!

by QuacksO August 8, 2018