One logical step beyond the classic "Catch-22" (you may be excused from bombing missions if you've become combat-crazed, but if you're mentally able to actually request to be excused, then this indicates that you must also still be sane enough to continue fighting), this horrendously unreasonable and unrealistic stipulation states that if you are physically/mentally/emotionally disabled, you are eligible to begin receiving disability benefits, but if you are fit/lucid enough to be able to apply for said benefits and to properly fill out the required paperwork, then you must not be too disabled to hold a job.
I'm probably eligible for veteran's children's benefits, since I am unable to hold a job due to my traumatic upbringing caused by my veteran father's PTSD, but I am afraid to apply for it because I might not only be turned down due to Catch-23, but I might also lose my SSI and Food Stamps, since my act of applying would cause me to be brought more to "their" attention, and thus I would greatly risk being a victim of "and furthermore" syndrome.
by QuacksO February 03, 2017
I always just buy imitation tusks and whalebone at da crafts shop for my carved-and-India-inked creations, to avoid any endangered-species-lovers' treating me wif discrimshawnation.
by QuacksO November 08, 2023
To "hook" more young people during a period when the number of smokers was on a downtick, tobacco companies increased the nickateen levels in their cancer-sticks to make it harder for "experimental" or "trial" smokers to stop once they'd started.
by QuacksO August 30, 2019
Refers to a “total care and satisfaction” practice whereby da company’s employees bribe customers wif da “ultimate favor” if they will buy said establishment’s products and/or otherwise do business wif said vendor.
Good luck on asking da luscious looker behind da counter of an adult-products store about “sales and cervix” --- just because they do indeed sell dildos and love-dolls doesn’t mean dat da employees themselves will actually provide you wif “da real thing”.
by QuacksO October 08, 2023
What a cat needs to have before it may legally scratch you. (Garfield take note --- none of your "provocations" for leaving Jon a tattered bloody mess would have held up in court... in every single case, you were just being selfish, overbearing, or hot-tempered.)
I was cradling the neighbor's cat in my lap and petting him gently, and he seemed totally happy and content... unmoving, purring, the whole nine yards. Then without warning, he suddenly exploded upwards with an angry yowl and forcibly propelled himself off my lap and onto the floor, giving my thighs several deep nasty digs in the process! Talk about a total lack of just clawse... if he was starting to get stir-crazy, he could have merely squirmed and mewed a little, and I'd have immediately let him down --- no need to to "break out da ol' samurai swords"!!
by QuacksO November 23, 2018
The all-too-common and totally-erroneous satellite-generated map-instructions that necessitate getting your vehicle hauled out of a lake, direct you to a non-existent road through a swamp or dense forest, etc.
I took a shortcut that my TomTom claimed was a viable road, but it turned out to be a rough dead-end dirt track that's been completely washed out in the middle for nearly thirty years --- talk about some totally G.B.S. coordinates! Why don't they do some bleepin' UPDATING of their maps once in a while???
by QuacksO September 30, 2018
A group of good-natured easy-going peeps who are super-comfy with you, and thus are willing to occasionally indulge you by forming a ring --- either sitting or standing --- and smilingly holding out their hands so that you can gleefully waltz around the circle and "trade off" pairs of hands, grasping the "inside" left&right hands of two friends in a joyful warmly-squeezey "double-handshake" clasp, then releasing one friend's left hand, crossing your wrists while still maintaining your grasp on the other friend's right hand, taking a half-step to your right so that you're standing directly in front of this other person, grasping his left hand in yours and giving both his hands a couple grateful misty-eyed squeeziz, dropping his right hand and bringing yours back across again, taking another half-step to the right to bring you halfway between the "present" person and the next one, taking this next person's right hand in yours, and so on.
Anytime I feel down or lonesome, I just head over to the town square, and usually there will be a giggle of at least four or five pretty girls hanging out together on the benches, and so I can play a warm-hearted round of "circle of friends" with them --- nuthin' like a whole bunch of soft warm slender hands to cheer a nice guy up! Plus of course if it's a sunny balmy afternoon in the summertime, the chicks will usually all be either barefoot or wearing sandals, and so that's a delightful "footrub-fiesta" bonus, since it provides me with lots of cute toes and arches to delightedly flex and twiddle, as well.
by QuacksO December 25, 2017