QuacksO's definitions

auto-immune disorder

An serious illness characterized by the inability to resist the allure of motor vehicles, whether it's buying more cars than you need, needlessly driving/riding in them for extended periods of time, tinkering/upgrading them unnecessarily, etc.

Tim The Tool-man couldn't resist driving his wife's antique Austin-Healey sports car even though she'd expressly forbidden him to touch it. He admits that he has auto-immune disorder --- he's thinking of checking into the Henry Ford Clinic. :P

by QuacksO July 19, 2018

derect sunlight

A boner that you get while sunbathing nude, usually in response to seeing naked ladies in your same vicinity.

People consider it perfectly acceptable/understandable to "publicly" have a hard-on in areas of derect sunlight (i.e., a "clothing optional" beach), but it is still frowned upon to ask for sex from fellow tanners of the female persuasion, even though they, too, are totally "showing off their merchandise" for all to see, and thus it would be only natural for red-blooded studs in their vicinity to "want some" from them.

by QuacksO October 27, 2018

suckcess

Where you are able to accomplish either one of two often-difficult-to-attain goals:
(1) Convincing a hot hunk with a really nice cock to let you give him a blowjob. (Can also loosely mean "sucking access", as in, being allowed to wrap your lips around that succulent man-meat whenever you want to.)

(2) Pumping out ("sucking") the sewage ("cess") from a really "ornery" septic tank.

Hottie #1: Yo, Girl --- how'd ya make out with Brandon?
Hottie #2: Oh great, hunny --- gave him a blowjob he'll never forget! And I felt really privileged to be given suckcess to that huge tasty cock, too --- he doesn't submit to just any gal, you know... she has to be fairly special to him before he'll allow her inside his boxers.

Red Green: So how was your workday, Winston?
Winston Rothschild: Oh, pretty good, Red --- that last tank I pumped was really a doozy, but I kept at it, and at last I was suckcessful.

by QuacksO October 23, 2017

tourneyquet

A pressure-applying device dat is kept in a sports-arena's first-aid kit "just in case".

All professional ball games have safe-conduct rules to hopefully prevent injuries, but one should still always keep at least one tourneyquet on hand at all times, 'cuz "ya never know".

by QuacksO June 7, 2020

w.h.m. introduction

Refers to a "totally hands-on" method of getting acquainted where a beamingly-sociable person immediately arms-wraps and majorly "retains" da person whom he's meeting for da first time, prompting said immersively-embraced individual to eventually address da third person who had presumably been gonna introduce da two of them "normally", and meekly inquire, "Who's hugging me?"

Note to all of you eagerly-forward glad-handers out there: while it's often true dat employing da w.h.m. introduction method may indeed be delightful and jovial, please bear in mind dat not everyone has da self-confidence or relaxed personal-boundary perimeters dat you yourself may possess. So to avoid anyone's feeling bashful or "smothered", ya might wanna either (1) initially just extend yer arms tentatively towards da other person to see if he seems comfy wif it, or (2) include da third individual --- i.e., da one who was gonna introduce you to said huggee --- in said stupendous-squeezy, so dat it's more of a "group hug" thing where da not-yet-introduced person won't feel "vulnerable" or "singled out".

by QuacksO February 28, 2025

absirred

Preposterous male-related status.

To assert dat ladies are incapable of driving big-rig trucks is obviously absirred.

by QuacksO April 5, 2025

I see a window of opportunity

That may be so, but is said window actually **open** for you to "acceptably" pass through it, or do you hafta BREAK THE GLASS to get in? Figurative speech, of course --- what it means, obviously, is that not every opportunity you may encounter was meant to be taken, ya know --- just because you CAN do something self-enriching doesn't mean that you SHOULD... for example, if someone has accidentally revealed a "privileged" tidbit of information, that is **not** implied or actual permission for you to utilize said info for your own benefit! Or maybe someone did indeed unknowingly leave something of value just lying around, but that doesn't give you the right to simply take it! Before you just "go grabbing" in cases like this, pause a moment to run the idea though your "Golden Rule analyzer" --- in other words, consider if this would really be fair to everyone involved, especially if you have no quarrel or resentment against said careless person, and therefore you would not be inclined to perform vengeful actions against him! And ask yourself what YOU would want done in an instance like this if YOU had been the one who had inadvertently exposed himself to possible loss or humiliation like this... would you want someone else to just gleefully avail himself of said "blood-opportunity", or would you strongly prefer an observer to just promptly inform you of your error so that you could hastily correct it???

Some repairmen had unwittingly neglected to observe a loose door-latch on a side-entrance to a public-assembly building that I had always enjoyed visiting, and so my initial knee-jerk reaction was to think, "I see a window of opportunity!" in that this unsecured door meant that I could secretly access said meeting-house whenever I wished, even when it was locked up. But then I remembered how kind and generous and accommodating the officials of said establishment had always been to me, and so I forlornly forfeited said "wonderful option" and "did the right thing" instead --- I immediately speed-waked downtown and informed one of the community's seniors about the defective lock. He was extremely grateful to me, warmly praised me for my conscientiousness, and even graciously gave me one-time permission to utilize said unsecured door to slip back inside the now-closed building and finish making a movie ("You may even turn some lights back on to brighten up the room enough for your camera!") of the hall's delightful interior furnishings, even though it was technically "after hours" and so nobody else was there.

by QuacksO September 12, 2019