Skip to main content

Definitions by Punchy McAssface Jr.

Filthy Fernando 

After you are done taking a wicked awful shit, you omit the wiping step. You proceed to stick your index finger into your ass crack, then finger paint a mexican-like facial hair style onto said victim
"That crazy bitch was into all sorts of crazy shit! She even wanted me to give her a filthy fernando!"
A condition which starts with a gentle reminder that you have to shit. You sit down to shit like normal, but then suddenly, you feel a pain so horrible that you wish you are dead. This pain continues through multiple bowel movements. In time, your pain may ease.
"I don;t think I can ride a bicycle today. My ass is still sore from having a case of the burnies last night."
Burnies by Punchy McAssface Jr. April 19, 2010

Spicy jazz fart 

A special fart which usually lasts 20 seconds, that gives off a very wide range of musical tones and obtains a stages of fart smells.
"I don't think I can ride bikes today. Earlier I let loose a spicy jazz fart and my ass is still sore."

Asshole Accountant 

One who oversees all financial transactions relating to ones anus.
"Kevin has a thankless and foul occupation. He is the most popular asshole accountant in the tri-state area

Doo doo tweezer 

A small tong like object used to remove any fecal matter or dingleberries left over after a unsatisfying incomplete bowel movement
"I ate a large variety of ethnic foods today. I for-see I may need a reliable pair of doo doo tweezers tomorrow morning."

Stinky Carrot 

A carrot which has been housed inside of an anus. When removed, the carrot has a very noticeable horrible smell.
"Oh shit! I think Steve may have eaten the stinky carrot instead of the fresh one!"

Southbound Mud Pile 

When one defecates into a box and/or large envelope and sends it to a random southern address located in any state below West Virginia.
"Clark never liked the south. So one day he sent an Alabama resident a southbound mud pile."