Peter Kobs's definitions

Football Withdrawal Syndrome

1. The agonizing mental process of accepting that football season is finally over.

This serious mental disorder afflicts millions of Americans every year, usually in the second week of February. Effective therapy is not available until the following August, at the earliest.

2. A crisis in the national spirit that is mitigated (only slightly) by the arrival of March Madness -- the NCAA basketball tournament.

3. The realization that life as we know it has ended, at least for six torturously long months.

4. Proof that Arena Football will never take the place of the real thing.

Hank was hospitalized on February 12 with severe anxiety and chest pain. Following a series of CAT scans at the Mayo Clinic, he was diagnozed with Football Withdrawal Syndrome (FWS). May God have mercy on his soul.

by Peter Kobs January 1, 2010

Nuke Crib

1. A secret storage place for illegal nuclear weapons or nuke technology.

2. A nuclear weapons development facility that is purposely kept hidden from IAEA inspectors.

2. Iran's secret nuke plant beneath the "holy" city of Qum, which was disclosed by U.S. President Obama at the United Nations in September 2009.

Using satellite imagery and espionage, we located Iran's secret Nuke Crib in a set of tunnels near Qum. They put the facility there to make it harder to bomb because of possible collateral damage to the ancient Qum mosques.

by Peter Kobs September 28, 2009

Hollow Market

1. A financial market so fragile that even strong companies are decimated by panic selling on Wall Street. 2. A market with almost no real buyers, only frantic sellers.

In this hollow market, even a safe company like Kraft Foods is tanking.

by Peter Kobs February 17, 2009

GD2

This acronym stands for "Great Depression #2." It's shorthand for the seemingly imminent collapse of the global economic system starting in late 2008 and continuing into 2009. Some professional economists, as well as ordinary working people, are fearful that the spiralling financial meltdown will lead to a decade-long repeat of the 1930s, complete with bread lines, soup kitchens, radical uprisings and the possibility of global violence. "Happy times are here again!"

"The collapse of AIG is just one more sign that GD2 is here, my friends."

by Peter Kobs December 22, 2008

Class Morphing

1. The downward transformation of one economic class into another.

2. The gradual descent from relative prosperity to grinding poverty, usually among formerly middle-class families.

The whole city of Detroit is class morphing into a ghetto.

by Peter Kobs February 6, 2009

Twitter Critter

1. A person who spends WAY too much time on Twitter, to the detriment of his or her job, family, friends and/or mental health.
2. A cell-phone Twitter texting maniac.
3. Someone who believes they are the center of the universe, despite abundant evidence to the contrary.

Tim has become a Twitter Critter. He can't keep anything private anymore. I wish he'd get a life!

by Peter Kobs August 5, 2009

Podnesia

1. A form of amnesia common among iPod and mp3 users. "Podnesiacs" have downloaded so many songs that they can't remember what's already on their device.

2. The mental condition that propels people to purchase (download) the same song more than once.

I think Tracy has Podnesia. She just downloaded "Last Train to Clarksville" for the third time in six months.

by Peter Kobs August 19, 2009