the act of giving oral sex in order to hide ones inablility to summon an erection. Named for the character from Happy Days.
Joanie (spread eagle and signalling Ralph Malph to plow her)- Come on, Malphie, gimme the high hard one.
Ralph - Uh, Joannie, Uh, aren't we moving a little fast?
Joanie- you sound like Chachi, ya big wuss. Whip it out, goddammit!
Ralph - (gazing wildly about till he remembers how he solved this with Potsie just last week. Nods.)Aha!
(laugh track)(bends over into Joanie's lap and buries his face in her little Mrs. C. Note to director: Remember this is supposed to be the fifties and it's network television. Ralph's face must be surrounded by Joanie's ungroomed muskpelt in order to get past the censors.)
Joanie- Unngh!(Leans back and smiles)
(laugh track chuckles and full roars as this goes on for awhile. Joanie checks her watch- laugh track).
Joanie- (Winces)Hey, Ralphie, it's not a punching bag!
Ralph- (Through his teeth) I still got it!
(Applause, fadeout, roll credits).
Ralph - Uh, Joannie, Uh, aren't we moving a little fast?
Joanie- you sound like Chachi, ya big wuss. Whip it out, goddammit!
Ralph - (gazing wildly about till he remembers how he solved this with Potsie just last week. Nods.)Aha!
(laugh track)(bends over into Joanie's lap and buries his face in her little Mrs. C. Note to director: Remember this is supposed to be the fifties and it's network television. Ralph's face must be surrounded by Joanie's ungroomed muskpelt in order to get past the censors.)
Joanie- Unngh!(Leans back and smiles)
(laugh track chuckles and full roars as this goes on for awhile. Joanie checks her watch- laugh track).
Joanie- (Winces)Hey, Ralphie, it's not a punching bag!
Ralph- (Through his teeth) I still got it!
(Applause, fadeout, roll credits).
by Pantaloon January 28, 2008
Get the Ralph Malph mug.What happens sometimes when the alcohol wears off before you get a girl back to your room. With the lights turned on, and the buzz gone, you realize that anything that might have caught your eye is really just derivative and uninteresting without the special effects and booze, and that really what you've got looks more like a skinny little boy than Madonna, Greta Garbo,Maryln Monroe, or a mildly amusing Blow-up doll.
The actual gwen stephani is the snapping noise as your dick and scrotum shrivels up rapidly into your abdomen. May require hospitalization and/or counseling for recovery.
The actual gwen stephani is the snapping noise as your dick and scrotum shrivels up rapidly into your abdomen. May require hospitalization and/or counseling for recovery.
Jimmy thought he was being a smart driver by only having one drink, but when his "date" came out of the bathroom, he almost thought he saw balls, but couldn't clear his head enough to prevent a full-on gwen stephanie from knocking him to the ground.
by Pantaloon January 18, 2008
Get the gwen stephani mug.Verb found in alien cookbook to serve man- cause of rising stock prices, sedation and weight gain of local population in US and China, and utter destruction of all critical thinking.
1)Wal-Mart for twenty years or until meat is about to fall off the bone.
2)We were going to repair the washing machine but figured why not Wal-Mart it.
2)We were going to repair the washing machine but figured why not Wal-Mart it.
by Pantaloon January 12, 2008
Get the Wal-Mart mug.similar to taste the rainbow, the man uses his penis in the same manner as the classic candy machine. Not sure why he would want to do this, but it's always great fun at parties, and allows for hands free snack delivery.
Some of the younger kids at the concert missed the cultural reference when Jim dropped trou and gave em the ol' Pez Dispenser. One of them even had the nerve to yell out "Thanks for the gumball, Mickey!" As Jimmy flicked a few treats in his direction. As if he would ever put gumballs into his dick. Who would be crazy enough to do that?
by Pantaloon January 18, 2008
Get the pez dispenser mug.see pre-cum,precum
Named for William Cowper, the man on whom it was discovered that a few drops of liquid form at the tip of his dick when it is aroused, and twas thought it might be a little something to leave the kids in the form of a legacy.
Named for William Cowper, the man on whom it was discovered that a few drops of liquid form at the tip of his dick when it is aroused, and twas thought it might be a little something to leave the kids in the form of a legacy.
One day in London, circa 1890, James Worthington, Thomas Haley, and William Cowper were just hanging out at the lab with their Starbucks Mochachinos, calculating the orbits of moons, looking through microscopes, and whatnot, when Haley jumped up and exclaimed, "Cowper, don't move! Stay exactly the way you are!"
Worthington had his eye on the microscope looking at some platelets, when he turned toward Cowper, who was stroking himself absentmindedly. This was nothing unusual in the course of things, but Haley rummaged through the flasks and vials, and found a long q-tip and a test tube, and stepped gingerly toward Cowper's member.
"What on earth are you doing, Haley?!" Worthington implored.
"Sshush, James! You'll scare it away."
Haley reached in, as if offering a perch to a hummingbird and gently dabbed the end of Cowper's manhood, giving the stick gentle half turns with each dip. "Alas, I have it."
Cowper was sitting as if in a stupor, and relaxed the hold on his dick. He was experimenting with a technique his colleague Jefferson Kegel had shown him, and so was a bit otherwise absorbed.
They placed the q-tip under the slide and each took a taste. "Hmmm, it's not quite jism, is it Worthy?"
"No, something different. Cowper's fluid is somehow unique."
"And so it is," Haley announced. "Henceforth this stuff from the end of Bill's nub will be called "Cowper's fluid."
There was much rejoicing and merriment, and the ladies brought in trays of whiskey and a violin was produced. A great celebration was had by all.
Worthington had his eye on the microscope looking at some platelets, when he turned toward Cowper, who was stroking himself absentmindedly. This was nothing unusual in the course of things, but Haley rummaged through the flasks and vials, and found a long q-tip and a test tube, and stepped gingerly toward Cowper's member.
"What on earth are you doing, Haley?!" Worthington implored.
"Sshush, James! You'll scare it away."
Haley reached in, as if offering a perch to a hummingbird and gently dabbed the end of Cowper's manhood, giving the stick gentle half turns with each dip. "Alas, I have it."
Cowper was sitting as if in a stupor, and relaxed the hold on his dick. He was experimenting with a technique his colleague Jefferson Kegel had shown him, and so was a bit otherwise absorbed.
They placed the q-tip under the slide and each took a taste. "Hmmm, it's not quite jism, is it Worthy?"
"No, something different. Cowper's fluid is somehow unique."
"And so it is," Haley announced. "Henceforth this stuff from the end of Bill's nub will be called "Cowper's fluid."
There was much rejoicing and merriment, and the ladies brought in trays of whiskey and a violin was produced. A great celebration was had by all.
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
Get the Cowper's Fluid mug.A form of torture created by Pontius Pilate, the man who crucified the savior. It's not as easy as you might think. St. Paul was certified in Pilates and Advanced Spin. The original 12 wanted to emphasize diet (bread, wine, omega 3s from fish oil, etc.) This caused quite a schism as you might imagine. This went on for awhile, until the Serfing craze caught on with the Barbarian invasion of Ringo, George, Cedric, and Dagobert.
After the crucifixion,a lot of fitness buffs tried to jump on the band wagon so Pilate was forced opened a gym (Pilates Fitness, inc.) at the local coliseum and hire some trainers. The gold members were given the "Martyr" card.
by Pantaloon January 18, 2008
Get the pilates mug.1)short for double blue veiner, when one becomes so engorged that two blue veins can be seen clearly in dim lighting. Often used as a metaphor for great achievement.
2)The 23rd letter of the alphabet, spoken by someone with a fat lip or recent dental work.
2)The 23rd letter of the alphabet, spoken by someone with a fat lip or recent dental work.
1)When Martha hobbled into the room in her leather cap and boots, Jacob produced his first double blue since the great depression.
2)Beth believed Iwo was proclaiming his love for her after their passionate night of karaoke and love-making, but he was simply spelling his name. She was blissfully unaware of the root canal he had gotten just prior to their date, and suggested he attempt to give her a pink sock, with his small but insistant double blue.
2)Beth believed Iwo was proclaiming his love for her after their passionate night of karaoke and love-making, but he was simply spelling his name. She was blissfully unaware of the root canal he had gotten just prior to their date, and suggested he attempt to give her a pink sock, with his small but insistant double blue.
by Pantaloon January 24, 2008
Get the double blue mug.