OneWhoKnowsBetter's definitions
This is the cleaned up highly edited version of my original post that was rejected by editors possibly because of mild cuss words.
A. A breed of dog known as the Dachshund. It comes in both standard and miniature sizes. Their coats range from shorthair to longhair. Some are aloof to strangers and save their love for their owners. If socialized properly they will be very friendly to most BUT NOT ALL STRANGERS.
B. An affectionate term used by dachshund owners due to the breed looking like a hot dog on a bun.
C. Sometimes used as a derogatory term by people who don't like this breed of dog.
D. A word that makes former dachshund haters angry. These people are worse than former cat haters and are very defensive of this breed.
A. A breed of dog known as the Dachshund. It comes in both standard and miniature sizes. Their coats range from shorthair to longhair. Some are aloof to strangers and save their love for their owners. If socialized properly they will be very friendly to most BUT NOT ALL STRANGERS.
B. An affectionate term used by dachshund owners due to the breed looking like a hot dog on a bun.
C. Sometimes used as a derogatory term by people who don't like this breed of dog.
D. A word that makes former dachshund haters angry. These people are worse than former cat haters and are very defensive of this breed.
A man who formerly hated dachshunds is seen walking a female longhaired miniature dachshund down the street. The dog is strutting because she is proud of her new owner, loves him tremendously, and in dog language is saying "Look at us." "This is my new human and I love him."
The owner meets up with his friends. They start needling him. The one says " Yer old lady got a wiener dog and now she is MAKING you walk." " You have turned in to a pathetic wuss."
The man picks up the Idiot who made that remark by the lapels of his shirt and has his feet dangling in the air." The dachshund has flipped from happy to angry and is nipping at the victims heels. The dachshund owner says " First off you will NO call my dachshund a wiener dog again." Secondly I just had an argument with me wife." " We were arguing because she wanted to walk the dog and I wanted to walk her too." Third off you (Censored) do you ever wonder why you are 50 years old and can't keep a wife or a girlfriend for any length of time?"At that point the idiot finally makes the first right decision he's made in a long time. He apologizes. They have been friends for a long time and he does not want to hear what his friend thinks of his ability to keep a woman.
The owner meets up with his friends. They start needling him. The one says " Yer old lady got a wiener dog and now she is MAKING you walk." " You have turned in to a pathetic wuss."
The man picks up the Idiot who made that remark by the lapels of his shirt and has his feet dangling in the air." The dachshund has flipped from happy to angry and is nipping at the victims heels. The dachshund owner says " First off you will NO call my dachshund a wiener dog again." Secondly I just had an argument with me wife." " We were arguing because she wanted to walk the dog and I wanted to walk her too." Third off you (Censored) do you ever wonder why you are 50 years old and can't keep a wife or a girlfriend for any length of time?"At that point the idiot finally makes the first right decision he's made in a long time. He apologizes. They have been friends for a long time and he does not want to hear what his friend thinks of his ability to keep a woman.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Get the Wiener Dog mug.This is a group of people with different personalities who volunteer their time to keep Urban Dictionary relevant. They receive no pay for this service. Some are just killing time, some have an agenda, BUT for the most part they are folks that just want UD to be free of the things that are not allowed. By volunteering their services they are helping this site to remain FREE OF CHARGE to all who use it.
Because there are so many different people editing UD it can lead to new posts being rejected for what appears to be no good reason. Some people let everything pass through, some follow the rules exactly, and then there are some who might go beyond the rules and reject almost every new post.
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Because there are so many different people editing UD it can lead to new posts being rejected for what appears to be no good reason. Some people let everything pass through, some follow the rules exactly, and then there are some who might go beyond the rules and reject almost every new post.
.
Person 1." Dude!" " That great post I just made got deleted by a Urban Dictionary Editor !" Man I am pissed!!" " Just for that I'm gonna go click on the edit link and reject every new post that comes to me!" "If mine ain't good enough nobody else's is either."
Person 2. "Dude, that's childish."
Person 2. In baby talk " Baby mad because momma took um pacifier away, poor baby."
Person 1 "Oh alright, knock it off dude." " I'm still gonna go there and reject any post that don't meet the rules!"
Person 2 "Whatever"
Person 2. "Dude, that's childish."
Person 2. In baby talk " Baby mad because momma took um pacifier away, poor baby."
Person 1 "Oh alright, knock it off dude." " I'm still gonna go there and reject any post that don't meet the rules!"
Person 2 "Whatever"
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Get the Urban Dictionary Editor mug.A word used by kids and adults years ago that seems to have fallen out of use but still used occasionally.
A word that a kid used when they hit their fingers accidentally with a hammer or was hurt suddenly in an unexpected way. They used this word in place of curse words like damn, damnit, or any other cuss word that comes to mind. Many times you'd get a whipping anyway for saying a word close to a curse word.
This was done because years ago adults did not want their kids to cuss. It did not matter if you came from a religious family or not. Sometimes the non-religious would whip you harder than a religious person would.
A word that a kid used when they hit their fingers accidentally with a hammer or was hurt suddenly in an unexpected way. They used this word in place of curse words like damn, damnit, or any other cuss word that comes to mind. Many times you'd get a whipping anyway for saying a word close to a curse word.
This was done because years ago adults did not want their kids to cuss. It did not matter if you came from a religious family or not. Sometimes the non-religious would whip you harder than a religious person would.
Kid 1. "Momma whipped me yesterday." "I still can't sit down too long."
Kid 2. "I am sorry!" "I still remember that one your mom gave me." "When I got home and told my mom about it she whipped me too." "I got a third when dad got off work." " By the way what happened this time????"
Kid 1. "A thunderstorm was coming." Mom told me to run the chickens back into their chicken house." "I got them all in except for the rooster, you know, the one that flogs us when our backs are turned."
Kid 2 " Yeah I know that....(Slaps hand over mouth aand looks around in fear)
Kid 1 "I got mad at that rooster." "I was already mad at him because he'd cut me with his spurs a few days ago when he flogged me." I was so mad I actually said "Dang old rooster"".
Kid 2. And your momma heard you?"
Kid 1. "You git that right." " You put your hand over your mouth earlier instead of saying a cuss word which means you probably thought a cuss word." Does your mom whip you for thinking cuss words too."
Kid 2 "Yes." "I can't wait until I grow up and cuss like daddy does."
Kid 1. " You ain't even safe then." "Momma heard dad say a bad word and told him he was acting like White Trash."
Kid 2. "I am sorry!" "I still remember that one your mom gave me." "When I got home and told my mom about it she whipped me too." "I got a third when dad got off work." " By the way what happened this time????"
Kid 1. "A thunderstorm was coming." Mom told me to run the chickens back into their chicken house." "I got them all in except for the rooster, you know, the one that flogs us when our backs are turned."
Kid 2 " Yeah I know that....(Slaps hand over mouth aand looks around in fear)
Kid 1 "I got mad at that rooster." "I was already mad at him because he'd cut me with his spurs a few days ago when he flogged me." I was so mad I actually said "Dang old rooster"".
Kid 2. And your momma heard you?"
Kid 1. "You git that right." " You put your hand over your mouth earlier instead of saying a cuss word which means you probably thought a cuss word." Does your mom whip you for thinking cuss words too."
Kid 2 "Yes." "I can't wait until I grow up and cuss like daddy does."
Kid 1. " You ain't even safe then." "Momma heard dad say a bad word and told him he was acting like White Trash."
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Get the Dang mug.A word that used to mean punishment for a child who had done wrong. When done fairly and properly the child usually did not commit that particular crime again. Some parents used it only as a means of last resort. Other parents spanked their kids for every little thing they did which actually had the opposite effect.
Spanking has fallen into disfavor these days for more "Progressive" means of "Educating" children. The advocates of the progressive system say that you must never strike a child. They say that if your child hits you with a broom handle you are to sit them down and educate them that they should not do that because it hurts people. Never tell them that it's wrong because that may hurt their self esteem and psychologically harm them,
The advocates of the progressive way are usually childless, single people who write books on how to raise your kids. They usually have long impressive titles behind their names that make them look like really smart people who know everything about raising kids. In reality they only spent as little time as possible with kids. Most of their time was spent kissing up to the professors in whatever diploma mill (College) they attended. This happens far more than you think.
Spanking has fallen into disfavor these days for more "Progressive" means of "Educating" children. The advocates of the progressive system say that you must never strike a child. They say that if your child hits you with a broom handle you are to sit them down and educate them that they should not do that because it hurts people. Never tell them that it's wrong because that may hurt their self esteem and psychologically harm them,
The advocates of the progressive way are usually childless, single people who write books on how to raise your kids. They usually have long impressive titles behind their names that make them look like really smart people who know everything about raising kids. In reality they only spent as little time as possible with kids. Most of their time was spent kissing up to the professors in whatever diploma mill (College) they attended. This happens far more than you think.
2012 parent 1;Honey look at this book!" When we have our first kid this is exactly what we will do!"
2012 parent 2; "Is that the book that advises against spanking??"
2012 parent 1; "Why yes it is!" "This person is really smart and knows what they are talking about! " Look at all those titles after their name!" This is one awesome super smart person and we will raise our kids just like they say!."
20 years later
1."Honey!! the jail called again we need bail money!"
2. "Which kid?"
1. "I dunno"
2. " I don't have it but maybe I will after I sue the idiot that wrote that book."
1. " We can't do that, they moved to the Caymans to escape paying taxes on the childcare books they write."
2. " That's right, they pushed for high taxes on the wealthy, and when the law passed they moved out of the USA to the Caymans where they still talk about everybody paying their fair share." Now they are saying that even the poor should pay taxes.
2012 parent 2; "Is that the book that advises against spanking??"
2012 parent 1; "Why yes it is!" "This person is really smart and knows what they are talking about! " Look at all those titles after their name!" This is one awesome super smart person and we will raise our kids just like they say!."
20 years later
1."Honey!! the jail called again we need bail money!"
2. "Which kid?"
1. "I dunno"
2. " I don't have it but maybe I will after I sue the idiot that wrote that book."
1. " We can't do that, they moved to the Caymans to escape paying taxes on the childcare books they write."
2. " That's right, they pushed for high taxes on the wealthy, and when the law passed they moved out of the USA to the Caymans where they still talk about everybody paying their fair share." Now they are saying that even the poor should pay taxes.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Get the Spanking mug.A derogatory term similar in meaning to asshole, or stupid asshole. Jackass is a term that's almost never used by today's young people but somehow it sounds hilarious when an old person says it and really means it.
The jerk CEO at a nursing home was telling old man Smith that if he was going to stay at this nursing home he would have to sell his house and possessions or be kicked out.
Old man Smith: "Jackass!"
Nursing staff covers their mouths and tries desperately to stifle their laughter. Old Man Smith just said exactly how they felt about their CEO.
Old man Smith: "Jackass!"
Nursing staff covers their mouths and tries desperately to stifle their laughter. Old Man Smith just said exactly how they felt about their CEO.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 21, 2012
Get the Jackass mug.An old dude who grew up out in hillbilly land but moved to an urban area when they were a young man. They are an odd mixture of both liberal and conservative. They no longer fit in at their former home but they also don't fit in too well in the city even though they have many friends there.
Urbanized Hillbillies tend to read a lot and like to fix things like cars or anything else that needs fixing. A U.H. is the guy you call on when you need something fixed and you don't have the money to call a repairman, go to a garage, or etc.
Urbanized Hillbillies tend to read a lot and like to fix things like cars or anything else that needs fixing. A U.H. is the guy you call on when you need something fixed and you don't have the money to call a repairman, go to a garage, or etc.
City Boy 1; "Dude these snow chains I put on my tires ain't doing shit in this snow."" I'm gonna take em back then I'm gonna sue the store that sold them, and the company that made them."
City Boy 2: "Let's stop by Bob's house." " Bob's OK but his dad is a urbanized hillbilly."
City Boy 1; " No,he's a dumb motherfucker,"
City Boy 2; " "Yes he's a dumb fuck but there IS a few things those retarded hillbilly's do know." "Heres his house pull in."
Urbanized Hillbilly; "Looks at the car and shakes his head sadly and says; " First off I really would not be driving a classic car in this weather." Secondly; This is a 1969 Mustang and you put the chains on the front tires." " This is a rear wheel drive car, the chains go on the back tires." " Next time y'all do any work on a car go get a Haynes or a Chilton book and read it before you do anything else."
He then gets out his tools and proceeds to to change the chains for them.
Both city boys start jabbing each other in the ribs and whispering to each other "Look at that dumb motherfucker,he's changing it for us."
Old hillbilly thinks to himself: "Dumb fuckers." "They think I"m too stupid to know they are making fun of me." " Too stupid to know that the only reason I am doing this is because I don't want them to screw up this classic car."
City Boy 2: "Let's stop by Bob's house." " Bob's OK but his dad is a urbanized hillbilly."
City Boy 1; " No,he's a dumb motherfucker,"
City Boy 2; " "Yes he's a dumb fuck but there IS a few things those retarded hillbilly's do know." "Heres his house pull in."
Urbanized Hillbilly; "Looks at the car and shakes his head sadly and says; " First off I really would not be driving a classic car in this weather." Secondly; This is a 1969 Mustang and you put the chains on the front tires." " This is a rear wheel drive car, the chains go on the back tires." " Next time y'all do any work on a car go get a Haynes or a Chilton book and read it before you do anything else."
He then gets out his tools and proceeds to to change the chains for them.
Both city boys start jabbing each other in the ribs and whispering to each other "Look at that dumb motherfucker,he's changing it for us."
Old hillbilly thinks to himself: "Dumb fuckers." "They think I"m too stupid to know they are making fun of me." " Too stupid to know that the only reason I am doing this is because I don't want them to screw up this classic car."
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 25, 2012
Get the Urbanized Hillbilly mug.A small outbuilding, usually unheated, has no air conditioning, where employees go to enjoy smoking a cigarette while anti-smoking Nazi's walk by and give them hateful looks.
Many times you will find non smokers there too. They are there because they like the conversation that sometimes goes on at a smoke shack.
Smokers go there for many different reasons. The main one being that they don't want to offend their non smoking friends. They also know that for many people smoking is not healthy. Many of them want to quit,have tried to quit, but then a anti-smoking Nazi will get in their face and tell them they are evil people." This has the reverse effect on a smoker and makes them want a cigarette even more."
Many times you will find non smokers there too. They are there because they like the conversation that sometimes goes on at a smoke shack.
Smokers go there for many different reasons. The main one being that they don't want to offend their non smoking friends. They also know that for many people smoking is not healthy. Many of them want to quit,have tried to quit, but then a anti-smoking Nazi will get in their face and tell them they are evil people." This has the reverse effect on a smoker and makes them want a cigarette even more."
Two anti-smoking nazis are walking by a smoke shack.
Nazi 1; "Look at that Smoke Shack." "Those people are the scum of the earth."
Nazi 2; " Whenever I see somebody smoking a cigarette I wanna smash it in their face, they really piss me off."
People in the smoke shack " Wow, look at the hateful looks those people are giving us."
Old Man in smoke shack: " Y'all wanna hear a funny story?"
Smoke Shack People; " Oh good!" "Another funny story."
Ols man; " I've known both of them for years." " Yall know I have nothing against pot but let me tell you that those two still smoke pot every night when they get home."
Smoke Shack people; " WHAT???" THEY SMOKE???"
OLd Man " Yes I know...it sounds crazy...but it's true." They consider it a herb and believe it's healthful." "They are actually taking in more tar and nicotine in one joint than i will by smoking a pack of cigarettes."
reformed dope dealer; Laughs and says " He's right and that aint all they do." " The old man knows because he used to smoke pot himself but gave it up years ago."
Old man: " I wish you would not tell that shit on me." "Yes it's true." " I smoked pt socially but gave it up when I got married." "it was damn lonely to be a single man on a Saturday night back then."
Nazi 1; "Look at that Smoke Shack." "Those people are the scum of the earth."
Nazi 2; " Whenever I see somebody smoking a cigarette I wanna smash it in their face, they really piss me off."
People in the smoke shack " Wow, look at the hateful looks those people are giving us."
Old Man in smoke shack: " Y'all wanna hear a funny story?"
Smoke Shack People; " Oh good!" "Another funny story."
Ols man; " I've known both of them for years." " Yall know I have nothing against pot but let me tell you that those two still smoke pot every night when they get home."
Smoke Shack people; " WHAT???" THEY SMOKE???"
OLd Man " Yes I know...it sounds crazy...but it's true." They consider it a herb and believe it's healthful." "They are actually taking in more tar and nicotine in one joint than i will by smoking a pack of cigarettes."
reformed dope dealer; Laughs and says " He's right and that aint all they do." " The old man knows because he used to smoke pot himself but gave it up years ago."
Old man: " I wish you would not tell that shit on me." "Yes it's true." " I smoked pt socially but gave it up when I got married." "it was damn lonely to be a single man on a Saturday night back then."
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 25, 2012
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