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Neil Baxter's definitions

bacon brigade

The Police, modified from the popular term for police, 'pigs'.

The cause of much hilarity, the police have been comedy targets throughout the world for years...

"How many police officers does it take to break an egg?"
"None... the egg fell down the stairs of it's own accord!"

"I always wanted to be a policeman, but I failed the criteria... my mother and father are married."
"Oink Oink... do you smell bacon?"

"What do you mean... oh yes... here come the bacon brigade! Oy streaky!"
by Neil Baxter October 4, 2005
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Quidditch

Kwiid-itch, n.

1. Fictional Sport in the 'Harry Potter' novels involving bats, balls, brooms and C.G.I. effects - no doubt to be frowned upon when some daft bugger emulates it and falls to his/her doom on discovering they can't really fly.

2. The type of sneeze that starts in the nostrils, causing one to clamp one's teeth and close the mouth, resulting in sneezing a large clod of snot into one's hand that's in such a vast amount that it can't be wiped onto one's clothing discreetly.
"Quidditch" Ron exclaimed.
"Yeah," said Harry, closing his potions book. "I'm tired of studying... let's go and have some practice before Saturday's match".
Ron looked sheepish and attempted a grin. "Sorry mate" he said red-faced, "I just sneezed... you ain't got a tissue have you?"

from "Harry Potter and the HalfBaked Plot" by K.J. Growling
by Neil Baxter October 12, 2005
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warner

Person who pretends to be a 'Goth' or 'Sweaty' 24/7m but removes all the metalgear and make-up when in the presence of Mom & Pop prior to going out for an evening meal.

Named after Brian Warner a.k.a. Marilyn Manson, who looks TOTALLY DIFFERENT without make-up and contact lenses!
"Did you see Jim the other day in the library? I couldn't believe it - the guy's a REAL Warner!"
by Neil Baxter September 23, 2005
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cherish

"Cheirr-eesh" tr.v.

to taste only very slightly of cherries.

(compare with 'Cherry Coke' which is 'cherrier' or 'cherriesh').
"Hey doofus... this soda is soooo awesome - NOT! It's like, more cherish than cherriesh!"

from "Dude Where's My Cherry Coke?" by Zanyfilms inc.
by Neil Baxter October 11, 2005
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snurch

z.nerr-ch

To sniff back a noseful of snot because either you haven't got a handkerchief or you're just too lazy to blow your nose.

This is the opposite of a "Pitmon's Hankie", whereby you press a thumb or finger against a nostril and blow forth snot through the other one onto the pavement.
"Stop snurching and blow your nose you derty get... I'm trying to eat me dinner here!"

From "Biggles Grebs Aloft" by Monty W. Bungingham
by Neil Baxter December 28, 2005
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Chicken Tarka

Indian Curried Dish and terrible pun.
"Would you like a Chicken Tarka sir... it's like a Chicken Tikka only a little Otter!"
by Neil Baxter October 4, 2005
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brough

Berr-uff (n.)

The low sonorous fart that starts off sounding like a burp but ends up 'fizzling out' at the end... can often be affected by following through and therefore should be attempted only when sat on the toilet.
Wooster laughed.

"You may think this bally foolish of me Jeeves, old sport, but yesterday I risked a brough over at the Twamley's residence... Bally lucky I hadn't eaten the pea soup, what?"

"Indeed sir" replied the snooty butler.

From "Sniff That Jeeves" by F.U. Shithouse.
by Neil Baxter October 8, 2005
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