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Neil Baxter's definitions

pandagoth

PANDAGOTH (n.) Pander-khoth

1. Overweight female with a penchant for dark make-up - similar in looks and build to a bear-like mammal... usually accompanied by a VERY attractive (yet anaemic looking) female friend, the Pandagoth makes up for her lack of sexual appeal by wearing a combination of the following:

a.) A 'Slipknot' hoodie.
b.) Black lipstick.
c.) Thick-framed glasses.
d.) 'Army' style boots.
e.) A weedy looking youth with a pseudo-beard hanging from her arm.

Pandagoths often 'sell-out' during their college years and become librarians, serial killers or lecturers.
"Chewie... I can't see pal... what's that? Pandagoths? Where? Ya gotta help me ol' pal... don't let them get me!"

"Grrwwwwwrrrrraaarrrrdddgghhhhh!"

(Excerpt from "The Pandagoths Strike Back")
by Neil Baxter September 23, 2005
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chegwin

CHEGWIN (verb). JEGG-WJINN.

To secrete alchohol outside one's home to be consumed away from friends and relatives in secret... often whilst walking the dog or 'going for some fresh air'.
"Casper? Thy's not getten a Kestrel at all - your Judd's told me - yer Mam caught yer ovver t' wreck wi' some Diamond White... we all know's you Chegwin!"

(From "Kes... t' Director's Cut")
by Neil Baxter September 29, 2005
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warner

Person who pretends to be a 'Goth' or 'Sweaty' 24/7m but removes all the metalgear and make-up when in the presence of Mom & Pop prior to going out for an evening meal.

Named after Brian Warner a.k.a. Marilyn Manson, who looks TOTALLY DIFFERENT without make-up and contact lenses!
"Did you see Jim the other day in the library? I couldn't believe it - the guy's a REAL Warner!"
by Neil Baxter September 23, 2005
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claypole

1.Englishman with a neatly trimmed beard who looks relatively smart, although there's something outlandish in his dress code, such as cowboy boots or a shirt that TOTALLY doesn't match.

2. A drama student or 'wit' who exclaims 'odd bodkins' for no reason.

3. A pole for poking clay with.

Named after Timothy Claypole from the old kid's t.v. show 'Rentaghost'.
"I say Carruthers... look at Smythe there... the suit's definitely Saville Row, but the tie's just GOT to be Primark... what a complete Claypole!"
by Neil Baxter October 4, 2005
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Dink Dank Doo

Supposedly newly-coined 'Northern' English Catchprase with little or no meaning that is copied and quoted ad nauseum throughout the U.K.

Taken from the character 'Paddy' in the excellent 'Phoenix Nights' and later from the unbelievably dire 'Max & Paddy's Road To Nowhere', this phrase replaced the often uttered "Booyakasha" comment known throughout our septic isle.
"Hey Paddy... I've got two fingers in me Twix... and as I'm quite full, I'll let you have one."

"Oh hey? What a guy! Paddy likes Twixes, Paddy does! You'll 'dink dank doo' for me, me auld flower!"

From: "The Script To Nowhere" (Channel 4)
by Neil Baxter December 28, 2005
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bacon brigade

The Police, modified from the popular term for police, 'pigs'.

The cause of much hilarity, the police have been comedy targets throughout the world for years...

"How many police officers does it take to break an egg?"
"None... the egg fell down the stairs of it's own accord!"

"I always wanted to be a policeman, but I failed the criteria... my mother and father are married."
"Oink Oink... do you smell bacon?"

"What do you mean... oh yes... here come the bacon brigade! Oy streaky!"
by Neil Baxter October 4, 2005
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Chicken Tarka

Indian Curried Dish and terrible pun.
"Would you like a Chicken Tarka sir... it's like a Chicken Tikka only a little Otter!"
by Neil Baxter October 4, 2005
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