23 definitions by Neil Baxter

Indian Curried Dish and terrible pun.

1.Englishman with a neatly trimmed beard who looks relatively smart, although there's something outlandish in his dress code, such as cowboy boots or a shirt that TOTALLY doesn't match.

2. A drama student or 'wit' who exclaims 'odd bodkins' for no reason.

3. A pole for poking clay with.

Named after Timothy Claypole from the old kid's t.v. show 'Rentaghost'.

The Police, modified from the popular term for police, 'pigs'.

The cause of much hilarity, the police have been comedy targets throughout the world for years...

"How many police officers does it take to break an egg?"
"None... the egg fell down the stairs of it's own accord!"

"I always wanted to be a policeman, but I failed the criteria... my mother and father are married."

POOSE (n.) "Pewse"

Colloquial Scots term for 'cat'.

z.nerr-ch

To sniff back a noseful of snot because either you haven't got a handkerchief or you're just too lazy to blow your nose.

This is the opposite of a "Pitmon's Hankie", whereby you press a thumb or finger against a nostril and blow forth snot through the other one onto the pavement.

One of those cute wee doggies that has whiskers and would equally double as a cat if necessary.

Kwiid-itch, n.

1. Fictional Sport in the 'Harry Potter' novels involving bats, balls, brooms and C.G.I. effects - no doubt to be frowned upon when some daft bugger emulates it and falls to his/her doom on discovering they can't really fly.

2. The type of sneeze that starts in the nostrils, causing one to clamp one's teeth and close the mouth, resulting in sneezing a large clod of snot into one's hand that's in such a vast amount that it can't be wiped onto one's clothing discreetly.