A woman who maks highly questionable noises during sex, such that it sounds as if you are just pressing the sound effect buttons on a keyboard rather than pleasuring her.
*ooh-ooh-aah-aah*
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.
Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?
Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard
*woof woof*
*ding dong*
*squelch*
*mmmmooooooo*
*beep-beep*
*dropped cutlery*
*police siren*
*tearing paper*
*helicopter*
*meow*
*baby laugh*
etc.
Dude 1: Do you think she's faking?
Dude 2: Nah, she's just a sex keyboard
by Mr. Cardboard November 08, 2011
An emotion which, irrespective of whatever previous emotion you were feeling, instantaneously makes you feel like you are going to die, fills your entire body with adrenaline and sends your heart rate off the scale.
Fear was a very useful evolutionary advance for millions of years, keeping mankind one step ahead of predators and snakes and shit but unfortunately it still occurs in trivial situations, such as:
- when you lean back on your chair to the point it feels like it might suddenly tip over
- when you are eating food in the street and you almost drop a bit on the floor
- when you have been smoking weed with your bong buddies for a few hours and a group of very tall, charismatic people you haven't met before suddenly show up
- when your girlfriend almost discovers the stash of tranny porn you acquired years ago but completely forgot about...until right now
Fear was a very useful evolutionary advance for millions of years, keeping mankind one step ahead of predators and snakes and shit but unfortunately it still occurs in trivial situations, such as:
- when you lean back on your chair to the point it feels like it might suddenly tip over
- when you are eating food in the street and you almost drop a bit on the floor
- when you have been smoking weed with your bong buddies for a few hours and a group of very tall, charismatic people you haven't met before suddenly show up
- when your girlfriend almost discovers the stash of tranny porn you acquired years ago but completely forgot about...until right now
"Are you coming to the pub?"
"No man I got severely drunk in there last night and exposed myself to everyone. I can't face their accusing eyes until the fear goes away."
"No man I got severely drunk in there last night and exposed myself to everyone. I can't face their accusing eyes until the fear goes away."
by Mr. Cardboard October 31, 2011
Suffix meaning "to steal", generally applied to a vehicle or situation. Originates from the word hijack but bastardised for comic effect.
Dude 1: I was gonna go for a crap but someone's running a bath.
Dude 2: You should have jacked it.
Dude 1: Bathjacking?
Dude 2: You should have jacked it.
Dude 1: Bathjacking?
by Mr. Cardboard November 07, 2011
1. A low-level employee of McDonalds or any other generic fast-food outlet.
2. An extremely stupid person, more fucktarded than a regular fucktard.
3. A fucktard's offspring, as the prefix 'Mc' means 'son of' in Scottish.
2. An extremely stupid person, more fucktarded than a regular fucktard.
3. A fucktard's offspring, as the prefix 'Mc' means 'son of' in Scottish.
by Mr. Cardboard November 07, 2011
Sarah Silverman: "I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.”
by Mr. Cardboard November 06, 2011
Dude 1: Congrats on finally getting a job.
Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.
Dude 2: Thanks, I'm sure gonna miss having beereakfast though.
by Mr. Cardboard November 07, 2011
The logical response to being called a motherfucker. Being called "motherfucker" implies that you fuck your own mother and is generally considered the highest insult one can bestow.
By immediately responding "dadshagger" one temporarily confuses one's literary opponent as to whether it would be worse to shag their dad or fuck their mother and whether they have in fact been semantically bested. Erstwhile, thou positions thine foot squarely betwixt their thighs with such vehemence as to render them infertile for the rest of their sorry ass life.
By immediately responding "dadshagger" one temporarily confuses one's literary opponent as to whether it would be worse to shag their dad or fuck their mother and whether they have in fact been semantically bested. Erstwhile, thou positions thine foot squarely betwixt their thighs with such vehemence as to render them infertile for the rest of their sorry ass life.
by Mr. Cardboard November 06, 2011