Cabin Footprint

The amount of carbon dioxide - essentially zero - emitted due to the consumption of fossil fuels by a person in the grip of Cabin Fever, staying at home during the pandemic.
She wasn't flying. She wasn't driving. She wasn't even walking, except to pace her apartment in a state of cabin fever. She figured she could at least be proud of her tiny cabin footprint.
by Monkey's Dad April 06, 2020
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who appointed you?

Asked of anyone who steps up to fill a leadership vacuum, by those who are just standing around complaining and looking lost.

Often followed by the word "God", in a variety of ways.
"Who appointed you? God?"

"Who appointed you God?"

"Who appointed you?"

"God, actually. Get over it."
by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020
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Covoid

The emptiness in a life, a city, a country, caused by the Covid virus.
So much that had filled their lives was gone for the moment, leaving an enormous Covoid.
by Monkey's Dad March 29, 2020
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XYZnophobia

Today he was blaming the Chinese for the 'foreign virus', yesterday, the Mexicans for allowing the Central Americans to get anywhere near our border, and whom he might fear tomorrow was anyone's guess. The president actually seemed proud of his XYZnophobia, blind to the leveling properties of the pandemic, and the lesson it offered, that we are all made of the same stuff.
by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020
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simultaneous snoregasm

Profoundly peaceful sleep shared by a couple after lovemaking.
Feeling what he knew would be her final orgasm of the night, he joined her, in perfect sync, and they fell into a state of simultaneous snoregasm, neither of them stirring until sunrise.
by Monkey's Dad February 27, 2020
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Minotaurectomy

Procedure to remove a man's bullheaded virility, performed by a female, using a few choice words.
Seeing him snort and paw the ground, while angling his horns in her direction, she was planning tonight's minotaurectomy, which would preferably be non-surgical, but hey.
by Monkey's Dad January 05, 2020
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8 track tapeworm

A song stuck in your head, on auto-repeat since 1966.
Having blown their cash on a then-state-of-the-art sound system for the band truck, the guys only had enough to buy one tape. For the last five decades, Martha and the Vandellas had been singing endlessly in his head - "It's like a heatwave, burnin' in my hea-a-art, can't keep from a-cry-in', tearin' me apa-a-art", his personal 8 track tapeworm.
by Monkey's Dad March 08, 2020
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