At 23, she was tormented by her reflection. She was getting old. Under the new Botocracy, with President Kardashian setting the pace, she would need to get some work done, fast.
by Monkey's Dad October 05, 2021
Looking down from her solitary balcony at the empty street, she thought warmly of her many friends, and those she hoped someday to meet, glad that they were nowhere near her, happy for the moment to be the gregarious loner.
by Monkey's Dad April 10, 2020
"I sincerely hope you're fully vaccinated"
"Who? Me? ... Why?"
"Your test came back positive. But relax. It will only kill you if you're unvaccinated,"
"OMC"
"OMG! Please tell me..."
"I mean... I figured... if Marjorie Taylor Greene didn't get the shot... or wear a mask... no need, right?"
"Who? Me? ... Why?"
"Your test came back positive. But relax. It will only kill you if you're unvaccinated,"
"OMC"
"OMG! Please tell me..."
"I mean... I figured... if Marjorie Taylor Greene didn't get the shot... or wear a mask... no need, right?"
by Monkey's Dad December 31, 2021
Whispered to a woman who feels loved, cared-for, pampered to an ultimate degree, to let her know that you have only started.
As she lay on her back, eyes glassy, breathing deeply, wishing for nothing more than the moment, he put his lips to her ear and said, "Tomorrow, I will really start being good to you."
by Monkey's Dad December 03, 2022
The never-released 1981 porn flick starring John Holmes as President Ronald Reagan, screened privately every Fourth of July for a handful of top-tier Republicans at The Bohemian Grove, their tightly-guarded summer enclave in the Northern California Redwoods.
He'd figured it was an urban legend, but there it was, July 4th in the Grove's outdoor amphitheater, "Star Spangled Boner".
by Monkey's Dad March 25, 2020
The amount of carbon dioxide - essentially zero - emitted due to the consumption of fossil fuels by a person in the grip of Cabin Fever, staying at home during the pandemic.
She wasn't flying. She wasn't driving. She wasn't even walking, except to pace her apartment in a state of cabin fever. She figured she could at least be proud of her tiny cabin footprint.
by Monkey's Dad April 06, 2020
Asked of anyone who steps up to fill a leadership vacuum, by those who are just standing around complaining and looking lost.
Often followed by the word "God", in a variety of ways.
Often followed by the word "God", in a variety of ways.
by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020