quorumtine

The minimum number of quarantined, work-from-home members that must be logged into an online video meeting to make the proceedings valid.
As the Zoom leader waited for the tenth member to sign in, unable to begin until the meeting had a quorumtine, she wondered whether they would ever see each other again in the real world.
by Monkey's Dad April 02, 2020
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parallel bars

Widely-separated, empty locations where people drink alone and share the experience with others over the Internet.
"Come here often?" he said into his phone. "Oh, I'm here all the time", she answered. On his small screen she looked like she was enjoying her Margarita, he told her how great his straight Jack Daniels felt going down, miles apart, each locked in their parallel bars, sharing Happy Hour.
by Monkey's Dad April 03, 2020
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Mozombieque

The geographical root and source of Zombie legends.
Mozombieque is located on the coast of Africa, bordered by Zombia to the northwest and by Zombabwe on the west, all three countries populated by the living dead.
by Monkey's Dad March 13, 2020
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Official Wokesperson

The face of an institution, corporation, etc , whose job it is to stand before the press and convey an image of irreproachable political correctness.
"Here at Enlightenment Worldwide, LLC, there is not one single straight, white, male on our staff", said the Official Wokesperson, who indeed seemed oddly indeterminate as to gender and ethnicity. "Further, I apologize for my English, as it is not my first language but my seventh."
by Monkey's Dad March 06, 2020
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The Center of Our Happiness

In an erotically blessed couple, the woman's clitoris, focus of all devotion, from which emanates such intense energy, joy and transcendent oneness that her lover can think of nothing else. ... Excuse me. What were you saying?
In the middle of the day, apropos of nothing, she suddenly blurted, "the center of our happiness" and he knew exactly what she was craving.
by Monkey's Dad December 14, 2022
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undersided voter

Someone who has zero doubt who they'll vote for, and says "Well, gosh, I can't really decide at this point."
Skewing the polls, giving the country a false image of its future, she characterized herself as an undersided voter.
by Monkey's Dad August 24, 2020
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slognosis

The forecast that the course of a disease will be uphill and stretch over a long time.
The doctor's truthful slognosis was hard to hear: His covid symptoms would get worse before they got better, and recovery would be slow, if it happened at all.
by Monkey's Dad April 09, 2020
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