To take an immaculately beautiful woman and, through blind applications of high-contrast streaks, razor-straight bangs, sharp 45-degree layered angles - acrylic 'fingernails' which soon cover only half the actual nail and look like what exactly? - pounds of makeup, all of which have zero to do with the real woman, her proportions, natural coloration or her perfect, essential beauty, and have everything to do with a state-wide communal aesthetic, n' toin huh intuh a nudduh cookie cuttuh Joisy Goil.
Underneath it all was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen or would ever see. Beautiful beyond words. All that had to be done was to simply reverse the NewJersification to which she had , stunningly, submitted .
by Monkey's Dad April 01, 2023
To take an immaculately beautiful woman and, through blind applications of high-contrast streaks, razor-straight bangs, sharp 45-degree layered angles - phony fingernails which soon cover only half the natural nail and look like what exactly? - pounds of makeup, all of which which have zero to do with the real woman, her proportions, natural coloration or perfect essential beauty, and have everything to do with a state-wide communal aesthetic, n' toin huh intuh anuthuh cookie cuttuh Joisy Goil.
Underneath it all was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen or would ever see. Beautiful beyond words. All that had to be done was to simply reverse the NewJersification to which she had , stunningly, submitted .
by Monkey's Dad April 01, 2023
Excessively orderly and fussy, paying too much attention to detail, as the result of being locked in during the coronaviral era.
She had always been relaxed and carefree. But with nowhere to go and no one to see, she reorganized every item in the bathroom cabinet by size, color and alphabetical order, and worried she was becoming coronal retentive.
by Monkey's Dad March 31, 2020
1) An affectionate name for any dog of indeterminate breed, aspiring to designer status.
2) An unlikely mix of a poodle and, say, a Havanese, which, even though the resulting scruffy creature may possess two heads and eight legs, will still be right at home in the most upscale dog park.
2) An unlikely mix of a poodle and, say, a Havanese, which, even though the resulting scruffy creature may possess two heads and eight legs, will still be right at home in the most upscale dog park.
by Monkey's Dad September 16, 2019
A temper tantrum thrown by an unqualified charlatan president, when questioned, opposed or exposed for his ignorance, pretense and lies.
"I say you're a terrible reporter!" the president fumed, when asked what he might say to reassure the American people. It was untethered to the real world, just another charlatantrum, meant to disguise his unfitness but only revealing it.
by Monkey's Dad April 23, 2020
The news was pervasive, relentless and terrifying. The virus could be lurking anywhere, coming from anyone, the very act of breathing or touching so fraught with danger that everyone had come down with psychosocialsomatic symptoms.
by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2020
America's answer to France's Eiffel Tower, our national phallus. Unlike the Eiffel, this monument to cultural pride is fluid in its location, arising in Newtown, El Paso, Parkland, Orlando, Las Vegas and who-knows-where next, making it easy for foreign tourists to get a taste of our country's zest for a liberty that shall not be infringed.
Jacques, he send me une Carte Postale from Etats Unis, photo only of guy in a cap rouge, Making America Great, holding straight up, his erection shape like AR-15, The Rifle Tower. From cold dead fingers we will take it? Non merci. Mon Dieu.
by Monkey's Dad September 09, 2019